How to Prepare For, Survive, and Cope with a Meepit
HORRIBLY RAVAGED NEOHOME - Hello owners, Neopets, and petpets alike, I am Rah465
the Yellow Shoyru, and I am here to tell you how to prepare for, survive, and
cope with a Meepit attack. Do not underestimate my knowledge of this matter, for
I have been through many a Meepit attack, and I also am in charge of my own colony
of Meepits with Mickey, which my whole family happens to know about. My Neohome
is, strangely, a constant attraction for the Meepits. That is why my Neohome is
ravaged. It may also be because over 14 pets are crammed in a miniscule Neohome
*hears a loud, crashing noise, a scream like a banshee, and an ear-piercing wail*.
Oops *runs and reappears with several long scratches on face*. Now, if you wish
to come anywhere close to defeating (or taming) any Meepits, then I suggest you
Preparing for a Meepit Attack
My first tip on preparing for the terrible occurrence of a Meepit attack,
for, eventually, everyone will be attacked, is keep EVERY SINGLE POSSIBLE OPENING
IN YOUR HOUSE securely locked or sealed with wax, glue, steel, clay, or snot.
This way any Meepit excepting extremely creepy Ghost Meepits, which we will
cover later, will not be able to enter your Neohome, I think. My second tip
is keep lots of cheese; it discourages Meepits, for it is their enemy. For Ghost
Meepits, Garlic Cheese will keep them away, if it exists at all. My third tip
is that you should ALWAYS have any device that could sense invisible things
activated, in case of freaky Invisible Meepits *shudders at the mere thought
of the matter*. That way you will always know if an incredibly sneaky Invisible
Meepit spy is around and watching you. Also check for hidden objects that could
pose as a danger to humans or pets. Those are my expert tips on preparing for
a Meepit attack.
Surviving a Meepit Attack
This section is mostly for pets with helpless, cowardly owners like Mickey
and Adrianne, my owners. If Meepits attack your Neohome, stay calm and… WHAT
AM I SAYING! You are actually supposed to freak out, scream, and kick and punch
any Meepit you can possibly reach with your bare paws! Try and protect your
owner(s) and sibling(s), if you have any at all. Attempt to shove cheese down
the offending Meepits’ throats. Try to avoid getting hypnotized by their empty,
haunting, terrifying stares. Get every single solitary battle weapon in your
current possession, and several others. And, if possible at all, get a Feepit,
because they are the sworn enemies of Meepits. My sister SakuraRyu, who lives
on my owner Adrianne’s account stargazer4lifetime, uses her Cobrall Dagger when
Meepits are afoot. When the Meepits eventually do leave, do a head count (if
necessary), check out everybody to see if they are still in their right mind,
and, if you wish, curl up on the floor and scream and cry till your brains fall
out and you go crazy. If you do not wish to do that, attempt to clean up your
now ravaged Neohome, or you could leave that horrendous and incredibly terrible
job to your entirely innocent, pathetic owner(s) to complete entirely by himself
or herself (or themselves).
Coping With a Meepit Attack
When it comes to coping with a Meepit attack, it is best to seek psychiatric
help. If you are like most people, you will undoubtedly be slightly traumatized.
It may help to go to a psychiatrist and get on some medication.
If you are like me, you will not be very affected at all. You WILL be forced
to go to family therapy sessions because your owner(s) thinks you are keeping
your feelings “pent up inside yourself”, as doctors word it. All that will do
is anger you, you tell them, but NO, they don’t listen. They never listen.
You may be like some of my other siblings, like Blenchita and RosadaCorazone,
who loathe Meepits and my owner, rosadaflame/prettydragon10/naturegirl338/dynamicduoam,
who now loves Meepits, who are permanently traumatized by the event of a Meepit
You could also be like the rest of my family, who are now security freaks.
They really don’t like my Meepit army, even though they are tamed and enjoy
getting dressed up and having tea. I DO mean the Meepits, you know. Not my siblings
and owners, I mean the Meepits. I am just trying to get that point across. I
Now, moving on, if your owner(s)/pet(s)/sibling(s) are showing signs of being
hypnotized by Meepits, which are drooling, staring blankly, repeating “Must
obey Meepit Master” or “Meepits rule the world” over and over in a robotic voice,
try and get through to them by saying their name, tapping them lightly on the
forehead, smacking them hard on the forehead, or clubbing them with very hard,
heavy objects. If this does not work, say “Meepits ate your *insert prized possession
here*!” This will probably work effectively.
The Ultimate Aftermath of a Meepit Attack
If your pets/owners experience symptoms of any trauma or hypnosis by Meepits,
send a Neomail to rosadaflame or stargazer4lifetime IMMEDIATELY! Your whole
family will probably need immediate attention straight away, and I mean it!
Trust me on this! Side effects of a Meepit attack include burning, twitching,
oozing, and moderate to severe brain damage, itching, and wheezing, sneezing,
coughing, dreams of Meepits popping out of nostrils or ears, vomiting, crying,
rocking, screaming, forgetting, and ultimately brain disintegration. This is
the kind of thing that needs immediate attention, for crying out loud! I mean,
think of the mess you’d have to clean up! What a nightmare! I would not stand
for such nonsense, I tell you!
Now here comes the terrible cost of rebuilding your now ravaged Neohome. It
all depends on what walls you have, what furniture you have, and what was destroyed
beyond recognition. If you have Jelly, Chocolate, or Asparagus rooms, the Meepits
undoubtedly ate them all up. You shall have to start from scratch, carefully
building your Neohome, or you could hire someone! The same goes for all other
damaged rooms! If you have damaged furniture, your owner can buy some new furniture!
The costs of all this are immeasurable, so leave it ALL to your owner!
I am glad you have read this article and, by the way, I take absolutely no
responsibility for any permanent or temporary injuries sustained while following
my instructions! Have a nice day, and watch out for Invisible Meepits!!
WHOOT!! First time in NT!! Comments accepted & appreciated!
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Of course, the infernal PPL has to put their foot in it. For whatever
reason (plot? Must check that out), they refuse to allow you to sell labbed
petpets. Oh, and they claim to be worried about the poor little critters.