When Bad Shoyrus Go Awful: Part One
I was a struggling Neopian, a newbie, if you will. I owned
a little red Shoyru, the most popular species in all of Neopia. This little Shoyru,
who went by the name Keya, was very selfish and obnoxious. The kind of pet you
would expect to belong to a Neopian millionaire. But I wasn't a millionaire; I
didn't even own ten thousand Neopoints. And I could never give her the life she
But my story begins on a very cold day in the
month of Sleeping. Christmas was long gone, and I had spent most of the Neopoints
I had on presents for the holiday season. But that morning, Keya had insisted
she needed a new toy.
"A plushie!" she half screamed at me. "I want
a nice new plushie. Not any of the factory rejected stuff."
I argued with her, telling her I had gotten
her one for Christmas, but it was no good. So, I agreed to get her a plushie.
But I couldn't afford one from the Neopian stores, so I headed up to my home
away from home, the igloo garage sale.
It was a cold day in Neopia Central, so you
could imagine the temperature on Terror Mountain. I trudged through 3 feet of
snow to the top of the mountain, until I reached a little igloo. It was warmer
inside, but still cold.
"Hi Mika," I smiled, my face still red from
the frigid weather.
The Chia's face lit up. I was well known around
here. "Hi Laural! Carassa's upstairs getting more stuff. What did little Keya
I sighed, "I brand new plushie."
"Oh! We found some plushies in the corner of
the attic this morning. I put them over there. Why don't you take a look?"
I walked over to an old faded cardboard box.
There was a blue Skeith, a green Poogle, and lastly, and strange looking Bruce.
It was a pastel pink, with a red bow around its neck. It was smaller than most
plushies usually are, and I was intrigued.
"Find anything?" Mika yelled from up front.
"Yeah," I yelled back. I gave her the little
plushie and was charged 251 Neopoints. Mika wrapped it up in a little red bag,
and I was on my way.
Occasionally, I find something worth much more
than what I paid for it, and can sell the item for a tidy profit. So, I decided
to make a quick stop at the shop wizard before I went home.
As I reached the hut, a blur of blue and yellow
ran up to me and shook my hand, "Hello Ma'am! Welcome to the shop wizard's!
What can I find for you?"
"Um, I was wondering if you could tell me what
this is." I showed him the plushie.
He examined it, "It looks like a baby Bruce
plushie. I will run a check on that." He looked through some files very quickly,
and then exclaimed, "Ah-ha! I was right. A baby Bruce plushie. The cheapest
price is currently…111,000 Neopoints. And that can't be bought Missy."
"So then, is it rare?" I asked.
He looked at me impatiently. "That is not a
question for the Shop Wizard. That is something you must find out at the trading
I moaned. I did not have time to take a boat
to Mystery Island. But if it really was rare…
I decided to make the trip. It could be worth
it. The boat ride was peaceful, as the weather on Mystery Island was much more
tropical then in any of the other places I had visited today. At the trading
post I waited in line for a long time. Finally, I reached a attendant.
"I would like to know the current lowest request
for a baby Bruce plushie," I said politely. The employee did some scanning,
and the lowest price was…
"1.2 Million," the helper replied in her expressionless
I gaped at her, my mouth wide open.
"Ma'am, please move so that others may have their
chance to put in a request," she said so dully that it was almost robotic.
A maniacal grin spread across my face. I was
so rich. I was filthy rich. I had to be the luckiest Neopian ever to live. I
was going to buy Mika a town home on Tropical Island, I was so grateful. I had
to tell Keya.
I ran home at top speed. I nearly knocked over
a Skeith on my way. "Sorry sir!" I screamed over my shoulder. This was too good
to be true.
"Keya! Keya!" I threw open the front door (which
wasn't very good for our bamboo home) "Keya! Come here." As usual, the Shoyru
didn't come when called. I raced to her bedroom, a simple room with a straw
mattress and a cardboard bookshelf. The Shoyru was picking pieces of straw from
her bed and shooting them lazily at the ceiling. I had told her a million times
not to do that because we couldn't afford another bed. Ha! Couldn't afford another
Keya looked up at me quickly. "Oh! Sorry, I forgot
about not picking the mattress, please don't ground me." Her red eyes were wide.
"What's all the screaming about?"
"Keya! I bought this plushie for like 200 Neopoints
at Mika and Carassa's and it is worth 1.2 million Neopoints!" I nearly shouted.
Keya looked as though she had stopped breathing.
"O-o-one m-m-m-million neo points?" she repeated weakly. She had a very dazed
look in her eyes. "Oh baby! Yes!" She flung herself across the room and landed
in my arms. "We can get a new house, new beds, all new furniture, and I could
have lots of toys. And a petpet! We could get rid of that dung fireplace in
the living room!" She wrinkled her nose at the familiar memory of the smell.
"We have to go to Neopia Central, right now!"
she exclaimed, her face radiant with joy. She dragged me down to the center
of town, and looked around wildly. She seemed unable to decide where to start.
I tapped her on the shoulder, "Um, Keya? We have
to sell the plushie first."
"Oh yeah, let's go to the auctions!"
After a long debate, I finally convinced her
that we would need a two day auction to be sure we got the most money for it.
I promised we would stay at a five star Neopian hotel until the plushie was
sold. She squealed with delight.
We checked into a glamorous hotel complete with
a bar, a pool sized bathtub, and two luxury beds in our suite. Keya couldn't
get enough of the good life.
"Oh my gosh, this place is nicer then all the
houses on our street put together." She stayed up until 2:00 in the morning
playing the fancy game system.
The next day we ate a nice lunch at the Art Centre
coffee shop. Keya was constantly running off to check the latest bid on our
plushie, and at the end of day one, it was up to a million. I thought Keya would
pass out from waiting.
She had a peaceful sleep that night, and we played
hours of games the next day. We actually managed to scrape together 7000 Neopoints.
But since we didn't need it, we dropped it off at the money tree.
Finally, the afternoon came. And Keya could be
more ecstatic. I was very excited my self. We walked up to the Scorchio who
had run our auction.
"Hi, I'm Laural. This is Keya. We auctioned an
item. The um, baby Bruce plushie," I said this all very fast, as if I was afraid
if I didn't get the money soon it would disappear into thin air.
"Oh! Aren't you folks lucky. Why I remember the
first time I got lucky on an auction like this. It seemed only yesterday that
I waltzed in here and picked up my big fancy paycheck. Yes siree, it was the
happiest day of my life. I now enjoy a life of luxury, as I'm sure you fine
folks will…" He seemed to go on forever.
His babbling was just too much for Keya, "Look,
dude. I have been poor from day one. I do not have to sit here and listen to
your incessant rambling. Just tell us! How much did the plushie go for?"
The Scorchio looked down at Keya, "Well, what
a little talk you are. I used to have a friend just like you. She was inspirational.
Gave me ideas for all kinds of schemes. Not illegal schemes though," he added
hastily. "Yep, she was a good little Lupe. When I won my second auction I gave
half of the money to her. Sometimes I wonder what happened to her. But money
is my closest friend now. What more could a neopet want?"
"Look, sir. I don't mean to be rude. But could
you just give us our Neopoints?" I almost pleaded.
"Alright, alright. No reason to get hasty. Your
grand total was…" He checked his clipboard. "1.3 million."
To be continued...