Voice of the Neopian Pound Circulation: 114,369,520 Issue: 229 | 23rd day of Awakening, Y8
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Offline - Hiding From the Meepits: Part Three


by lightninglover34

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I rubbed my eyes in disbelief. This was impossible! I had only been gone…what, ten minutes? How in Neopia could all of the Meepits have vanished?

     Not even a tiny footprint was left. The concrete floor was smooth and clean, and bore no signs of ill use or Meepit…erm…gifts.

     I darted for the ladder, still hanging limply in the corner. Thankfully, it was left untouched, so I climbed it as fast as my hooves could move. If possible, the platform was even more rickety than before, so I pulled on the door leading to the front of the store. It wouldn't budge.

     I pulled tighter, sure it was just stuck, but I knew with a sinking feeling that it was locked and most likely had some heavy piece of furniture in front of it to prevent me kicking the door in. I was trapped.

     I slumped down to the ground. This was my fault, wasn't it? I had become careless in my detective work, and hadn't thought of being locked in. Staring at my hooves, I knew it was only a matter of time before a) the Meepits took over, or b) someone discovered me here. Either way, no one was safe.

     Wait a minute…safe…safe! The safe in the office! I hadn't bothered to open it yet! And at least there would be a lunch in it to stop me from starving any time soon. So I slid back down the ladder again and ran across the room, knowing there was no danger from any creature just at present.

     I touched the small metal box, feeling around the tiny lines surrounding the door. There was a combination lock on it, and having hooves, I can't do anything of the sort. So guess what I did? No, you'll never guess. I kicked it. Duh. It swung open with a slight creak.

     I peered inside. There was no lunch.

     There was, however, a door. I don't know about you, but I'm getting sick of doors. Pardon me while I go whine to the author.

     "Excuse me, but I think you're just using doors because your feeble imagination can't support anything other than such things. Would you mind getting rid of them?"

Author's note: In fact, I would mind. I can also tell you there will be three more before the end of this story. So be quiet and let the story spin out.

     Having vented slightly to the brainless, dense, doltish, dopey, dorky, dull, dumb, fatuous, half-witted, mindless, oafish, obtuse, senseless, simple, slow, thick, thickheaded, unintelligent, vacuous, weak-minded, witless woman we call author, I explored the safe further. It appeared to be a smallish tunnel, stretching about ten feet and ending at aforesaid door, which doesn't count as one of the three.

     I wriggled through the passage, turned the doorknob, and tumbled through the frame out into a back alley. I blinked hard, trying to accustom my eyes to the brightness of the outdoors after being in the darkness for so long. When finally I could see, I could make out the forms of several familiar buildings. The double doors to the Neopian Bank were wide open, and a stream of pink was flowing steadily and silently through.

     I followed at a safe distance, trying to keep to the shadows - out of the way of any roving eyes. The streets were still deserted, and I knew there was no chance of finding anyone to help me.

     I crept along the sides of the buildings, hugging the brick walls, biting my lip to keep from uttering any whimpers or squeals of panic. Hey, even real men get scared sometimes. One of my hooves accidentally brushed against a tin can, and that tiny noise was like a herd of thundering Elephantes in the stillness.

     A Meepit at the rear of the throng raised its head slightly and peered around. Its huge, staring eyes settled on me, and I bit down on my hoof, trying to shake the unrelenting fear, and hoping beyond all hope that it hadn't seen me.

     My heart sank as it uttered a high, sharp MEEP. The flow stopped, and everything everywhere ground to a halt. Noses quivered, eyes searched, and every single one landed on me. I groaned in dismay. I was doomed.

     As steadily as it had flowed into the building, the masses surged towards me as I fled. I darted up street and down alley, trying to lose them. I even put on an extra burst of speed to jump over a fence, but the Meepits were right behind me. They burst through it as if it wasn't there, and left a trace of slightly singed wood in their wake.

     I cursed myself inwardly, wondering why I hadn't the sense to just go offline, like everybody else. Because I was the only one who could save Neopia, that's why.

     My knees started to buckle, and a stitch was starting up in my side. I couldn't go on for much longer - I knew that for sure. I kept my eyes fixed ahead of me, almost hypnotically… I stumbled, tripped, and rolled smack dab into a house. But I burst right through it, and found myself in someone's basement.

     The Meepits rushed by, still maintaining a breakneck speed despite the length of time they had been going. I allowed myself to exhale slowly, relishing the comfort of sitting down. Why had I tripped? It didn't make sense…

     It rushed back to me. Hypnotically! Of course! I had read that book on hypnotism only a short time before. And there was that one time the hypnotist had come to the school for a show…and he made me eat a bucket of worms. Well, of course I could do that too!

     Not that the Meepits would WANT to eat worms, but…

     I scrambled to my feet and rummaged around in the basement for something long and dangly. Shoving boxes aside, I coughed when the dust entered my nostrils, rubbed my watering eyes, and sorted through all the junk that some well-meaning owner had squirreled away.

     I discovered a smaller box, back in the shadows, full of more recent-looking things. Dead fish, mostly, and a few things I had seen before, in Geraptiku. Mom took us there once in a while, trying to see if she could find something. I usually got hit with a bunch of booby-trapped arrow machine things.

     But in the box was a tarnished golden medallion. I rubbed it carefully until it shone brightly. Winding it around my hoof, I leapt through the hole I had made and landed in the street.

     There was nothing in sight. I mean, there were buildings and homes, but the Meepits weren't in sight. I rolled my eyes, took a deep breath, and yelled at the top of my lungs.

     The sound was muffled at first, but grew rapidly as the Meepits discovered their prey. I unwound "my" medallion and allowed it to dangle from my hoof, slowly swinging it back and forth. I called loudly, "You are getting sleepy." The hordes stopped in puzzlement. I lowered my voice and carried on, encouraged.

     "You are getting sleepy. You will close your eyes on the count of three, and you will be in my control. On the count of three, you will become semiconscious. One…two…three."

     A faint humming noise emitted from them. I racked my brain, trying frantically to think of something to say before they awoke. "Um…you…you will eternally be hypnotized! You will never again fully regain consciousness, and you will never again obey Gors or Emmaus!"

     Well, so much for becoming a carnival hypnotist.

     It seemed to work, though, so I left them to wander aimlessly until someone else dealt with them. I retraced my steps from earlier, and found myself back at the store. Or what remained of it.

     The building had burnt to the ground.

      * * * * *

     Well, all the users eventually grew curious enough to wonder what became of Neopia. Finding all to be normal, they stayed and prospered.

     The Chia Police never did find out who Emmaus and Gors were, but then again, I personally believe that Chias are simply food for higher mammals. IE) LUPES. The two culprits didn't show up again, but I have the feeling they will in the future - most likely on the six o'clock news, as the Hypnotic Scroll was burnt to a crisp in the inferno that left the headquarters as a pile of ashes; so the Meepits are now useless to those villains. The Meepits were gathered up and sold to people who didn't know any better, or used them as punching bags.

     The staff, however, in an attempt to cover up the fact that they hid offline whimpering and moaning, rewarded my family with a sum of 25,000,000 neopoints. With the money, Mom decided to buy me a Grey paintbrush - deducing that it would be of great service in future. Blending in with the shadows, and all that.

     And then she decided we would take a looooooooooong trip to Mystery Island. So I sit on the beach, wearing my cool shades and lounging in a beach chair, and resting in the comfortable knowledge that, thanks to me, no one's status ever need be set to Offline: Hiding From the Meepits.

The End

Author's Note: Thanks to Alaya for letting me borrow _Hithaeglir_ for this! And thanks for putting up with me when I'm being an insane psycho writer with many strange thoughts. And thanks to all the little people…whose names I can't recall. I don't know why…oh well. You guys are still cool.

 
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Other Episodes


» Offline - Hiding From the Meepits: Part One
» Offline - Hiding From the Meepits: Part Two



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