Offline - Hiding From the Meepits: Part Three
I rubbed my eyes in disbelief. This was impossible! I had
only been gone…what, ten minutes? How in Neopia could all of the Meepits have
Not even a tiny footprint was left. The concrete
floor was smooth and clean, and bore no signs of ill use or Meepit…erm…gifts.
I darted for the ladder, still hanging limply
in the corner. Thankfully, it was left untouched, so I climbed it as fast as
my hooves could move. If possible, the platform was even more rickety than before,
so I pulled on the door leading to the front of the store. It wouldn't budge.
I pulled tighter, sure it was just stuck, but
I knew with a sinking feeling that it was locked and most likely had some heavy
piece of furniture in front of it to prevent me kicking the door in. I was trapped.
I slumped down to the ground. This was my fault,
wasn't it? I had become careless in my detective work, and hadn't thought of
being locked in. Staring at my hooves, I knew it was only a matter of time before
a) the Meepits took over, or b) someone discovered me here. Either way, no one
Wait a minute…safe…safe! The safe in the office!
I hadn't bothered to open it yet! And at least there would be a lunch in it
to stop me from starving any time soon. So I slid back down the ladder again
and ran across the room, knowing there was no danger from any creature just
I touched the small metal box, feeling around
the tiny lines surrounding the door. There was a combination lock on it, and
having hooves, I can't do anything of the sort. So guess what I did? No, you'll
never guess. I kicked it. Duh. It swung open with a slight creak.
I peered inside. There was no lunch.
There was, however, a door. I don't know about
you, but I'm getting sick of doors. Pardon me while I go whine to the author.
"Excuse me, but I think you're just using doors
because your feeble imagination can't support anything other than such things.
Would you mind getting rid of them?"
Author's note: In fact, I would mind. I can also tell you there will be
three more before the end of this story. So be quiet and let the story spin
Having vented slightly to the brainless, dense,
doltish, dopey, dorky, dull, dumb, fatuous, half-witted, mindless, oafish, obtuse,
senseless, simple, slow, thick, thickheaded, unintelligent, vacuous, weak-minded,
witless woman we call author, I explored the safe further. It appeared to be
a smallish tunnel, stretching about ten feet and ending at aforesaid door, which
doesn't count as one of the three.
I wriggled through the passage, turned the doorknob,
and tumbled through the frame out into a back alley. I blinked hard, trying
to accustom my eyes to the brightness of the outdoors after being in the darkness
for so long. When finally I could see, I could make out the forms of several
familiar buildings. The double doors to the Neopian Bank were wide open, and
a stream of pink was flowing steadily and silently through.
I followed at a safe distance, trying to keep
to the shadows - out of the way of any roving eyes. The streets were still deserted,
and I knew there was no chance of finding anyone to help me.
I crept along the sides of the buildings, hugging
the brick walls, biting my lip to keep from uttering any whimpers or squeals
of panic. Hey, even real men get scared sometimes. One of my hooves accidentally
brushed against a tin can, and that tiny noise was like a herd of thundering
Elephantes in the stillness.
A Meepit at the rear of the throng raised its
head slightly and peered around. Its huge, staring eyes settled on me, and I
bit down on my hoof, trying to shake the unrelenting fear, and hoping beyond
all hope that it hadn't seen me.
My heart sank as it uttered a high, sharp MEEP.
The flow stopped, and everything everywhere ground to a halt. Noses quivered,
eyes searched, and every single one landed on me. I groaned in dismay. I was
As steadily as it had flowed into the building,
the masses surged towards me as I fled. I darted up street and down alley, trying
to lose them. I even put on an extra burst of speed to jump over a fence, but
the Meepits were right behind me. They burst through it as if it wasn't there,
and left a trace of slightly singed wood in their wake.
I cursed myself inwardly, wondering why I hadn't
the sense to just go offline, like everybody else. Because I was the only one
who could save Neopia, that's why.
My knees started to buckle, and a stitch was
starting up in my side. I couldn't go on for much longer - I knew that for sure.
I kept my eyes fixed ahead of me, almost hypnotically… I stumbled, tripped,
and rolled smack dab into a house. But I burst right through it, and found myself
in someone's basement.
The Meepits rushed by, still maintaining a breakneck
speed despite the length of time they had been going. I allowed myself to exhale
slowly, relishing the comfort of sitting down. Why had I tripped? It didn't
It rushed back to me. Hypnotically! Of course!
I had read that book on hypnotism only a short time before. And there was that
one time the hypnotist had come to the school for a show…and he made me eat
a bucket of worms. Well, of course I could do that too!
Not that the Meepits would WANT to eat worms,
I scrambled to my feet and rummaged around in
the basement for something long and dangly. Shoving boxes aside, I coughed when
the dust entered my nostrils, rubbed my watering eyes, and sorted through all
the junk that some well-meaning owner had squirreled away.
I discovered a smaller box, back in the shadows,
full of more recent-looking things. Dead fish, mostly, and a few things I had
seen before, in Geraptiku. Mom took us there once in a while, trying to see
if she could find something. I usually got hit with a bunch of booby-trapped
arrow machine things.
But in the box was a tarnished golden medallion.
I rubbed it carefully until it shone brightly. Winding it around my hoof, I
leapt through the hole I had made and landed in the street.
There was nothing in sight. I mean, there were
buildings and homes, but the Meepits weren't in sight. I rolled my eyes, took
a deep breath, and yelled at the top of my lungs.
The sound was muffled at first, but grew rapidly
as the Meepits discovered their prey. I unwound "my" medallion and allowed it
to dangle from my hoof, slowly swinging it back and forth. I called loudly,
"You are getting sleepy." The hordes stopped in puzzlement. I lowered my voice
and carried on, encouraged.
"You are getting sleepy. You will close your
eyes on the count of three, and you will be in my control. On the count of three,
you will become semiconscious. One…two…three."
A faint humming noise emitted from them. I racked
my brain, trying frantically to think of something to say before they awoke.
"Um…you…you will eternally be hypnotized! You will never again fully regain
consciousness, and you will never again obey Gors or Emmaus!"
Well, so much for becoming a carnival hypnotist.
It seemed to work, though, so I left them to
wander aimlessly until someone else dealt with them. I retraced my steps from
earlier, and found myself back at the store. Or what remained of it.
The building had burnt to the ground.
* * * * *
Well, all the users eventually grew curious enough
to wonder what became of Neopia. Finding all to be normal, they stayed and prospered.
The Chia Police never did find out who Emmaus
and Gors were, but then again, I personally believe that Chias are simply food
for higher mammals. IE) LUPES. The two culprits didn't show up again, but I
have the feeling they will in the future - most likely on the six o'clock news,
as the Hypnotic Scroll was burnt to a crisp in the inferno that left the headquarters
as a pile of ashes; so the Meepits are now useless to those villains. The Meepits
were gathered up and sold to people who didn't know any better, or used them
as punching bags.
The staff, however, in an attempt to cover up
the fact that they hid offline whimpering and moaning, rewarded my family with
a sum of 25,000,000 neopoints. With the money, Mom decided to buy me a Grey
paintbrush - deducing that it would be of great service in future. Blending
in with the shadows, and all that.
And then she decided we would take a looooooooooong
trip to Mystery Island. So I sit on the beach, wearing my cool shades and lounging
in a beach chair, and resting in the comfortable knowledge that, thanks to me,
no one's status ever need be set to Offline: Hiding From the Meepits.
Author's Note: Thanks to Alaya for letting me borrow _Hithaeglir_ for this!
And thanks for putting up with me when I'm being an insane psycho writer with
many strange thoughts. And thanks to all the little people…whose names I can't
recall. I don't know why…oh well. You guys are still cool.