Battle Quills... ready! Circulation: 111,981,549 Issue: 223 | 13th day of Sleeping, Y8
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Sid: Who really fills in for Bob?


by kyandui

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BATTLEDOME - I was wandering about Neopia one day, when I decided to go fight a good friend of mine: Punchbag Bob. My pet was eager to test out his new equipment, and I was hoping to catch a regular BDer to give me some advice. As I walked into the Battledome itself, I noticed something was a little off. There was no line to fight the Punchbag, as there usually was.

Of course, I didn't care really. I didn't really notice it until afterwards anyway. My pet looked up at me, worried. He shivered visibly, and I attempted to calm him down. We walked right past the sign where all the Battledome challengers were listed.

There was no time to notice that a note had been taped on top of Punchbag Bob's difficulty.

I was so psyched! I was finally going to get that trophy! My pet smiled, glad to be past the empty space of what I call 'The Waiting Room.' He grinned, Cobrall Dagger in hand, and ran ahead of me. I was about to chastise him for running with sharp objects when I stopped suddenly.

In front of me was not the usual pained face of Punchbag Bob. His glasses were gone, and there was no funny mustache to make me laugh. Instead, an evil looking sack of straw sat in front of us. There was a malevolent grin stitched onto his face and a patch covering one eye.

Needless to say, this Punchbag punched back. It took less than a second for my pet to be defeated. He was surprised as well. We had never seen this side of Punchbag Bob. Was TNT playing a nasty trick on us?

The kind Battledome staff helped us out though, and informed us that the Punchbag that had just creamed my poor Tuskaninny was definitely NOT Punchbag Bob. It was his evil twin brother, Sid.

Of course, me being the writer (although not exactly journalist) that I am, I jumped for joy! It would be a perfect opportunity to get published! Finally! My pet, however, definitely didn't want to go back to face the evasive Sid.

I didn't push him to do it, but I vowed I would get my interview.

The next day I went back to the Battledome, but was sorely disappointed. Punchbag Bob sat in the empty arena, sniffling over his last loss. I sighed, and turned to walk away.

All of a sudden, I heard a 'WHOOSH! ... BANG!!!!' followed by complete silence. I turned back, and there sat Sid in all his evilness. I whipped out my notebook and ran to the Punchbag, careful to keep out of arm's reach. Here's how my interview went:

Shoy : Hello Punchbag Sid! I'm Shoy, and I write for the Neopian Times. I would like to know if you had the time for an interview.

Sid : What?! (at this point he whipped out a vicious looking sword) I don't want to be interviewed!

Shoy : O_O Would a bag of neopoints change your mind?

Sid : *suddenly interested* I mean, of course I have the time!

Shoy : Yay! How is it that you're Bob's twin? You look nothing alike, and you're very different in terms of personality.

Sid : *blinks* Who told you I was his twin?

Shoy : You mean you're not his twin?

Sid : Of course not! That weak little potato sack is nothing compared to me! Do you really think I want to be here?

Shoy : Well... I never really thought abou-

Sid : That I WANT to fill in so that Bob can get repairs done?! NO!

Shoy : I thought I was asking the questions!

Sid : I will NOT be thought of as related to that (censored... who knew Sid had such a foul mouth?)

Shoy : *stunned* Sorry... Okay, how are you so strong? (You must understand, I really was quite stunned... everything I had prepared the night before was swept out of my brain and dumped in the trash)

Sid : Why does Adam have asparagus shaped cookies hidden under his desk?

Shoy : I don't kn- wait... You know Adam?!

Sid : Where'd you hear that?

Shoy : You just told m-

Sid : I DID NOT!

Shoy : Yes you di-

Sid : You're not a very good journalist... You can't even begin to comprehend what I am saying!

Of course, at this point, I was very miffed. Not only did Sid have a very dirty mouth, but he was insulting my hearing! And, let me tell you, my hearing is excellent! *twitches* After taking a few deep breaths, however, I continued with the interview.

Shoy : Is Sid your real name?

Sid : Of course it is! Why do you ask? *suspicious*

Shoy : No reason! ^^; How did you get your job?

Sid : It's not a job. I just get poofed here every day for ten minutes or so... speaking of which, those ten minutes are almost up.

Shoy : Wait! I have only two more questions!

Sid : Hurry up then.

Shoy : Did you have anything to do with the enslavement of the Grundo race, and are you really Sloth in disguise? (these questions were completely random, mind you)

Sid : *coughs* Of course not! *sweat drips down face*

Shoy : You look nervous.

Sid : What are you talking about?! *coughs again* I just have a cold!

Shoy : Okay... *blinks*

Sid : I really must be going now! *poofs off, leaving Punchbag Bob in his place*

Punchbag Bob blinked at me questioningly, looking much better than when I saw him before meeting Sid. I waved goodbye and hurried out, positive I had found out something incredible! When I got home, I quickly called my Tuskaninny out to read my interview...

But, it appeared something happened to the last page...

I was very confused. I tried to recall what was said, but nothing came to mind.

In fact, I forgot all about Punchbag Sid. I mean, who is he? I've never seen him before... Have you? Maybe you could get him to come out! It’d make for a great Neopian Times story!

Yay! If you're reading this, that means I've finally gotten accepted for the NT! Be on the lookout for a series to come!

 
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