Where there's a Weewoo, there's a way Circulation: 111,981,549 Issue: 223 | 13th day of Sleeping, Y8
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What Next? A Nightmare of Petpets, Petpetpets and...


by kushbi

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The release of petpetpets is no longer news. But when the first petpet was unveiled, who could have thought that the tiny critter would have an even smaller friend sticking along for the ride? When Bat Boy was released, who could have guessed that one day, even petpets could be drawn into the scheming influence of that sulking Korbat with a Darigan petpet paint brush?

We may yet see Donna the Kadoatie donning a jewelled crown and wailing for its humble subjects at the Kadoatery. That is, if the Royal petpet paint brush ever falls into Neopia. Alas, this is beyond the prediction of anyone without a Jhudora's crystal ball. But the possibilities are endless: will petpets one day have every paint brush to correspond to those that Neopets have? No surprises if they do.

What looms in the future consists not just a comprehensive range of petpet paint brushes. What is at stake in this world of rapidly shrinking critters is the prospect of petpetpet paint brushes. Yes, you're reading it right. In the near future, we're looking at faerie Mootixes and island Cooties. Imagine torturing your petpet with a dung Breebly. Or a grey Yurble with a grey Faellie with a grey Lady Blurg. Oh joy.

Do not be alarmed if your Neopet's petpet finds a petpetpet while snooping around in Darigan's chambers on the floating citadel. Due to the influx of ever-increasing variations of the Neopian bug, my guess is that we will soon be seeing petpetpets of different distinct origins. They would have sworn loyalty to one very big Korbat to wreak havoc in Meridell or they could be fans of cold, icy climates. Just be wary of which of these creatures you allow onto your beloved petpet. A quarrel between a petpetpet and its host has yet to be witnessed, but better to be safe than sorry, yeah?

But that's not all. Have you ever left a petpet in your inventory for some time, only to discover that the greedy little thing devoured a milk chocolate Chia? Rather unexpectedly, petpets are (in)famous for their periodic feasting of food left in your inventory. Neopets are considerably larger in size (excuse me, Pea Chia owners) yet how many of them gobble up cheese at the rate of Drackonacks? Considering the influence that your petpet has on its impressionable petpetpet, I hypothesise that one day petpetpets will be sipping drinks left to sit in your inventory. Sticking along with a petpet on the journey around Neopia is rather tiring so do not be caught off guard by leaving an expensive brew in the same room as a Skidget. Fortunately, leaving a Larnikin with a Blue Draik Egg will not have the same result as leaving a Kadoatie with the latter, simply because the petpet will 'splode if it were to express such an enormous appetite.

Enough of the morbid, let us progress to the insane. In Year 5, ask anyone the odds of the crazy laboratory scientist having a petpet and they would have said "zilch", "impossible" or "I think you think too much". I have no idea how in Neopia any creature could possibly put up with his constant cackle and rehashing of laser theory. But something did. And that something has come to haunt us as the mad Kookith, gleeful operator of the petpet laboratory. It could be a blessing ("My Spyder turned into a Hasee!! OMG!!") or a terrible curse ("My Gallion disappeared! Noooo..."). Either way, we now know, by precedence, that it is completely plausible for the sterile coat wearing, swirly-eyed petpet to have a petpetpet.

After all, a crazed petpetpet is not that hard to imagine. If you need help doing so, just look at the Mootix Warrior. Any petpetpet wielding a faerie slingshot is bordering on berserk, in my opinion. Hence those of you who find it intoxicating to use the ray on an innocent creature once a day may well start saving up. The petpetpet lab map could be coming our way. That Moffit could turn into a Mootix! Or disappear forever.

On another note, when Neopets go off to test their skills in the Battledome, petpetpets are good company for the lonely petpet. Now, when petpets compete in the petpet arena, what entertains their petpetpets?

Read carefully: Petpetpetpets.

Yes, Neopia has ever-expanding space for even tinier creatures and petpetpetpets will have no problem hitching a ride with a generous Fleaf or oblivious Skritch. At the rate that petpets are getting involved in exciting activities (visiting the Turmaculus, cannonballing into the Symol hole, sparring with other petpets), a Guild of Petpetpets (complete with Lawyerbot Moach) will soon be formed to grouse about the lack of entertainment available to them. What should we do? Give all the Aboogalae and Veespae of Neopia a pet of their very own:

Something has happened!

Cutiecoo's Flankin has found something! What could it be? Click here to find out!

Petpetpetpets will even come with a magnifying option so we can all admire the intricate details on their tiny bodies. With reference to current petpetpets, we may expect to see some petpetpetpets with ultra long legs, spiky body, colourful feelers and maybe even engulfed in a fireball ala Flankin.

Speaking of entertainment for petpetpets, the battle arena may just be welcoming its first combatants of the sort. The Mootix Warrior is a huge influence on the whole petpetpet population in Neopia. This Battledome challenger strikes fear in the hearts of battling Neopets, especially those sent (with not much choice) to defeat the tiny critter for Judge Hog. Neon messages are flashing in every Mootix's miniature mind, "We can intimidate that Darigan Neopet too!". To make things worse, all other petpetpets will be thinking, "We can't let Mootixes have all the fun!" And so the battle starts: Petpetpet Battle Arena is formed.

If you extrapolate all the points mentioned above to the concept of pets for petpetpets, a whole dimension of possibilities will emerge. Petpetpetpet paint brushes and petpetpetpet laboratory, petpetpetpet Neohome furniture...need I add more? Actually I will, because Neopia is ever expanding, with new lands discovered or rebuilt at a consistent rate each year. Who knows what lies in unexplored regions? Thus, to top it off, in the future, some of us will be inviting Neopixels to live beside the pets of petpetpets, as petpetpetpetpets, simply known as pet^5. As the Haiku Kougra says, contemplate this and return tomorrow for another Neopian Haiku. Be prepared to make a space in your spiffy Neohome for the whole bunch of critters and remember to prepare some ear muffs for your Neopet. One of the more conspicuous implications of these ever-shrinking creatures is the change in the description right below your Neopet's petpet.

Cutiepie the Mazzew (300 days and 1 hour old) and its Mozito and its Grimo* and its (insert petpetpetpet name) ... ...**

*Grimo being a hypothetical petpetpetpet name. ** "and its (insert petpetpetpetpet name)"

Also, if you complete the whole Neopet-petpet-petpetpet-petpetpetpet-petpetpetpetpet line up, you may even get an "OHEMGEE! Magnify ME!" avatar.

Sweet.

But beware; there is just so much company a Neopet can take. Your pretty painted Neopet could just have a greater chance of turning blue from all that company due to an overdose of companionship. In addition, there could be a risk of your petpet running away (read: poofing into thin air) from the nightmare of 3 noisy critters following its every step. I sure would, wouldn't you?

 
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