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Yet MORE Happy Home Hunting


by year_of_the_fox

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Also by extreme_fj0rd

Year_of_the_Fox: And so begins the third stage of our brainwashing program-- I mean Happy Home Hunting Articles! We're here again to show you everything you didn't need to know about places to build a home!

Extreme_fj0rd: Or rather, everything you do need to know. Or don't. Whichever. I'm Fj0rd, this is Fox, and we're on location right now, on a little tiny place we missed before.

Fox: Yup. We're here in the land of dice and gambling! Roo Island!... Wee woo... There's not really much here.

Fj0rd: There's a Merry-Go-Round! Perfect for young pets or Baby-painted ones. Or even older pets/owners... um... Fox, may I be excused to go ride the Merry-go-round?

Fox: Beh. Go ahead. But really. If you wanna bet away all of your money, come here. All the games involve chance and a large chance of it is losing all your neopoints and living in a box begging.

Fj0rd: Or getting an awesome avatar. But yeah, there isn't much here on Roo Island. Let's move on... after I'm done riding this Merry-go-round.

Fox: ... Just... walk away Fox... Just walk away...

In any case. We'll get right back on course and go south, then east a little ways, then up. To the land in the clouds full of weird creatures with wings and are entirely too optimistic. Faerieland.

Fj0rd: "Entirely too optimistic"? You haven't ever met _Yrael, have you... by the way, I'm back from the Merry-go-round.

Fox: Ehem... Yeah. Anyways. Faerieland. You start on this. Optimists first.

Fj0rd: Ah, very well. Faerieland is an awesome place, full of poofy clouds that are beautiful to look at or just to sit on. Also, since it hovers several hundred feet above the ocean, there's a wonderful view of the sunrise and sunset every day. And who wouldn't want to live somewhere where they could walk down to the store and be in line with a Fire Faerie, an Air Faerie, and an Earth Faerie all at the same time? You'd also be very close to the Hidden Tower, which would be really groovy.

Fox: If you can even find the Hidden Tower. Though I guess if you run right into it you've found it. If you have flying pets that's a problem. And if you have little baby pets I say AVOID THIS PLACE AT ALL COSTS. Because you can fall off the edge very easily. And... if you have a Grarrl or a Skeith stay away too... they might... you know... fall though the clouds.

Fj0rd: True, the.. sturdier pets might have a bit of a problem, but where better to put your baby pets than in a playpen made of clouds? You wouldn't have to go so far to give quest items to the Uber-Faeries, either.

Fox: Don't come if you're afraid of heights either. I mean... whoa... Fj0rd... Can we go now?

Fj0rd: You concede that Faerieland is a good place to live, then?

Fox: Nooooo... I'm afraid of heights... and I looked down...

Fj0rd: Aww, little Fox can't handle the heights. Oh, okay, we can move along.

Fox: Y-yeah. Anyways going down south and west again. We reach the badly named Lost Desert. 'Cause... It isn't lost anymore. It's been found. And I don't get why it was lost in the first place. It's rather big...

Fj0rd: Yes, well, I guess everyone was too scared to go past the Haunted Woods. (Which we just missed, by the way.) Anyway, the Lost Desert is great for you beach Cybunnies. Sand and sun all year around! There are some pretty nifty games here, too, like Pyramids and Sakhmet Solitaire. Also, there's currently a plot going on, adding an edge of excitement.

Fox: Fj0rd. Hate to dampen your parade... but if this isn't a good place for beach Cybunnies.

Fj0rd: Ha-HA! There isn't any rain in the Lost Desert for you to dampen my parade with! Triumph! Triumph!

Fox: ... Fj0rd. There isn't water. Period. Meaning this isn't a place for beach Cybunnies. Anyways. If you want to live here, bring sunscreen, and lots of it. Also any time you go out bring rope, in case you get swallowed in the sand. Oh. And bring a canteen of water. And a map. And a compass. Because out there there is a whole lot of nothing! And if you get lost... too bad. You're dead.

Fj0rd: There is so water! There's an inlet!

Fox: AN inlet. AN. Meaning ONE. Meaning YOU'LL DIE if you can't get your water rations. So be fast and get there early.

Fj0rd: Well... Terror Mountain doesn't have any inlets at all! So ha! Erm, shall we move on?

Fox: Fj0rd. Terror Mountain has SNOW which is frozen water. But next we have the possibly worst place to live. Haunted Woods. OoooooOooo Scary. It's a sign. I know it.

Fj0rd: Sure it's scary, but have you ever actually known anyone who disappeared there? No, it's always a friend of a friend of a friend. The Scary Woods are just... scary. Yeah.

Fox: Fj0rd... What are you talking about? There have been tons of neopets who disappeared! THEY WERE EATEN! By the Jelly Chia. I mean. The Haunted Woods is the H.Q. for the villains of Neopia. It's like... BAD. And it's dark. Really dark. No gardening there. Nope. And you become really pale and then you get lost in the woods and then you DIE.

Fj0rd: Yes, that's what people say, but have you ever actually known someone who disappeared? It's what's called an "urban legend", Fox. Except in this it's more... a rural legend.

Fox: But still. This is not safe. Not at all. Bad bad bad. Don't move here! Unless you have a death wish.

Fj0rd: Well... erm... there have been plenty of people who've survived living in the Haunted Woods! Right! Erm... I'd ask that we move on, except that this is the end...

Fox: Oh... You're right. We've been everywhere. Well then. I think we've successfully procured a large army of mindless drones-- I mean given people a good idea of where to build their neohomes!

Fj0rd: Exactly! Now, drones, follow me--er, you can stop reading now. Now. Er... now. Now!

Fox: Are you still reading? Go and follow Fj0rd!... I mean... Go out and have fun Home Hunting!... Fox; out.

 
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