Now with 50% more useless text Circulation: 109,226,905 Issue: 218 | 2nd day of Celebrating, Y7
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There's A Reason Why Owners Don't Go To Neoschool

by animalnutz1993


I waited with the other owners outside the classroom. A few seconds later, the bell rang, and Double A's class emptied out into the hall to find their owners. Double A came running to me, a smile on her face and a piece of paper in her hand.

     "Mom! Mom!" she said. I smiled at her excitement. "Guess what? They've started a program to get owners more involved in Neoschool!"

     "Really?" I asked. I took the flyer.


     Go to Neoschool and attend Mrs. Honey's class with your Neopet! We encourage all owners in the class to participate. It'll be a great chance for everyone to have a little fun!

     "Whaddaya say?" asked Double A excitedly. "Wanna do it?" I didn't think it'd be that hard, so I filled out the form at the bottom.


     "Mo-om, wake up!" a paw shook my shoulder.

     "Huzzbnya…?" I mumbled. I rolled over to see a yellow Wocky looking at me impatiently. I yawned. "What is it? Is there something wrong?"

     "No, Mommy! It's time to get ready for Neoschool!"

     I stared at her in disbelief. "But it's still dark out!"

     "Yeah, I know. It's like that in winter. Now come on, or we'll be late!" She trotted out of my room and went downstairs. I pulled back the covers, sat up and yawned. My oldest, Angie, always made sure that everyone got to Neoschool on time. I never knew they had to get up this early!

     I stumbled down the stairs and into the kitchen. As I poured myself some cereal, Angie and Harvey were looking at me funny. "Uh, Mom, you feeling okay?" asked Angie.

     "Just tired. Why?"

     "Well, for one thing, your shirt is on backward and inside-out," she said. "And for another, you're about to have a nice, nutritious bowl of Popcorn with Kau Kau Farm Milk."

     I looked down. I quickly put down the disgusting contents of my cereal bowl. Double A walked in.

     "Come on, Mom!" she said. "It's time to go!" Angie, Harvey, and Wintria got up and walked with us to Neoschool.

     We walked through the double doors and I was hit full blast by a huge crowd! Neopets everywhere, pandemonium breaking loose!

     "Oh my gosh!" I cried. "What happened? What's the emergency?" My pets started to snicker.

     "This happens, every day, Mom!" said Double A. Oh. "These are just students getting ready for class." Then a bell rang. Stampede! Stampede! I lost sight of Double A, who was the only one of my pets that hadn't gone scurrying to class. Then the stampede passed.

     "You okay?" she asked, bending down and looking at me intently. I nodded and brushed off the dirt and footprints, hoping to gain back my dignity. Once we got to Double A's classroom door, the other owners didn't look much better. One was asleep standing up. Another looked like he had dressed in the dark.

     The door opened to show a pleasant-looking Yellow Aisha in a flowered dress and pearls. We got inside and each owner that had showed up sat in a chair next to their Neopet. "Well, good morning, class," said the Aisha.

     "Good morning, Mrs. Honey," said the class of Neopets in unison. The owners just looked around; they looked like they felt stupid, like me.

     "First of all, let me welcome all owners," she gave me a smile. "Double A has been especially excited for you to be here." Double A looked up and smiled at me. "All right. For today, each Neopet is going to step up and introduce their owner and say a few things about him or her. Who's going first?"

     I expected them to raise their paws or claws or whatever like I did in school. But instead, Mrs. Honey took down a Yellow Cybunny Plushie and tossed it into the air with her eyes closed. It landed on a Purple Poogle's desk. Mrs. Honey opened her eyes.

     "Well, it seems Chelsea the Chooser picked Marie," she said. "Come on up, then, dear."

     The Poogle nodded eagerly and dragged up her owner by the hand. "This is my mom. I think her grown-up name is Kim," said Marie. Kim looked around and smiled. "My mom loves to garden, don't you Mommy? You love to garden so much that one time you slept outside! Remember?" Kim was beginning to blush delicately.

     "Uh, thank you, Marie," said Mrs. Honey, quickly ending this embarrassment parade. "Who's next?" She tossed up the plushie and it landed on a Red Quiggle's desk. "Oh, Ryan!" she said.

     Ryan and a boy with tousled hair went up to the front. "This is my daddy," said Ryan. "His name is Booboo." The boy looked embarrassed as he whispered into the Quiggle's ear.

     "Oh. Actually, his name's Bob."

     It went on like that for a while and then it was Double A's turn. She pulled me up to the front and said, "This is Grace. She's my mom." I grinned nervously. "Once you get to know her, she's a lot of fun. Especially when she snores. One time she sang in her sleep!"

     Neopets and owners chuckled around the room. "And you wanna know how we found the Hidden Tower?" she blathered. "She ran into it for real!"

     "Uh, okay, Double A. Thank you," said Mrs. Honey, as laughter began to spring up. Then a bell rang again. I forgot what the bell meant and panicked.

     "Fire!" I yelled. I ran around in circles, screaming "Fire!" then I realized how stupid I looked. Double A told me it was lunchtime. Oh.

     We went into the lunchroom. I blinked. All the chairs and table were so low! After Double A and I got our trays of food, I bent down to put down the tray. Then I slowly tried to ease my way into low seat. Then I fell backward. Little Neopets laughed.

     The little Ruki next to Double A gasped between giggles, "Your owner is so funny, Double A!" I expected Double A to look up at me and hate my guts for embarrassing both of us. But instead she looked up, glowing with pride.

     "She sure is, Naddie," she said to the Ruki. "She sure is."


     At last Neoschool was over. My Neopets and I started walking home. Double A and I hung back while the other three went on. "You weren't embarrassed by me?" I asked her. She shook her head.

     "Everyone at school loves a funny parent. And clumsiness is definitely funny!" she said.

     "But you saw everyone laughing at us in Mrs. Honey's class!" I interjected.

     "Even the popular Neopets were asking me to tell them more about you afterwards!" said Double A, smiling. "And don't worry. If you're not embarrassed, they won't make fun of you."

     "Well, sweetie," I said. "I don't think I was meant to go to Neoschool. This was a one-time thing."

     "Aw, that's okay!" said Double A. "An owner like you will only need to go one time anyway!"

     I was proud. I was touched. Aw, who am I kidding-I was exhausted! My Neopets had to get their dinner by themselves tonight. And so it leaves me using every ounce of dignity and strength (and sanity) to write this article. Well, I hope you had a good time reading this anyway. *Yawns and falls face first asleep on keyboard*


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