The Guide to Snacking in Neopia and Beyond
My Neopets and I have always been fond of venturing out for food at odd times.
We pull ourselves out of bed just after midnight and head out in search of food
(unless I have remembered to collect my daily serve of jelly and omelette. But
that scenario is a whole different kettle of fish).
Possibly because I tend to hoard food in my Safety Deposit box (Green Apple
from July 2001? Sure!) or because of the wacky time zones that make up NST,
we will never know. But after four years of feeding my pets in the middle of
the night, I feel it is my duty to share the dos and don’ts of midnight snacking.
Kelp – Maraqua
I first read about this new restaurant in a review in the Neopian Times. And
whilst the review was rather negative, my neopets promptly cut out the advertisement
and begged and pleaded with me to go there – the novelty of dining under water
was just too much for them. Against my better judgement, I pocketed some neopoints
and we went off in search of nourishment.
We arrived at Kelp at 4 a.m, and we were delighted to not only be seated (it
does pay to be a part-time scratchcard dealer!) right away, but to be handed
menus the second we sat down. The waitress was very sweet, folding our napkins
and filling up our glasses with water, but I had a sneaking suspicion about
this place. Maybe it was the fact there were no prices listed, or because of
the ‘high society’ that surrounded us.
I don’t want you to think the wrong thing – I live a simple life with my Neopets,
renovating our home, stocking our shop and indulging in the odd plushie or petpet;
I feel my np is better off going towards a new plant for our garden or adding
on an extra bedroom – or finally installing a toilet.
So I warned my pets to choose carefully – they are all very small pets with
petpets, but I was certain if we chose four different items off the menu, we
could share. I also had to consider my finicky and allergic pets – whilst my
Uni cannot cope with vegetables, my Kacheek is quite allergic to cheese. Pate
a la Kelp seemed to be the best option, if I didn’t mention the word “vegetation”
out loud. Our other selections included the Ocean Platter, Kelp’s Signature
Ice Creame and Lemwart Fizz. By now, we were all quite excited about the food
– quite a difference to the monotony of omelette and glowing jelly.
The waitress offered to calculate the bill before we were served our meals
– I agreed on the off chance I had to run to the bank; I had only 700np in my
pocket and thought I should indulge my pets just once…
Until the waitress handed me a bill for 66,800np. I almost choked on my own
tongue when I saw the bill and stood up immediately – I was not the slightest
bit interested in a meal that cost the same as my Neohome. My pets shuffled
out, clearly disappointed.
The snotty looking host made his way over to us, most likely used to out of
towners walking out because the food was far too expensive. I merely pointed
out that for the price he was charging, I could go to Faerieland and dine gourmet.
Which is why I have been banned from Kelp for the unforeseeable future.
Cost: approximately 70 000np for a four course meal.
The Lost Desert
The evening we made our way to the Lost Desert, many of the merchants were
packing up, which was very disappointing and quite strange. We split a tchea
fruit between us and visited Coltzan’s Shrine but decided to return after the
Cost: 25np for a quick snack.
Faerie Food Inc - Faerieland
Possibly the best takeaway food in the world, this is a favourite stop for
my Neopets, especially at midnight; the Light Faeries tend to come out and it’s
a very pretty sight. We like to picnic in front of the Healing Springs. If we
don’t get too close, the faerie doesn’t even mind. Much.
I highly recommend the Crazy Crispy Tacos, Fruity Faerie Dipping Fingers and
(if it’s a special occasion), the Chocolate Faerie Log. Fun, delicious and mid-range
Cost: approximately 4000np – depends how well you haggle.
Grundo’s – The Space Station
Can I say eww? I most certainly can. And that world sums up Grundo’s in one
word – mass produced goo for the masses. Back in the day, my pets insisted we
try it and I admit, I was intrigued; and the Cherries Jubalee are a common sight
on our table at Christmas. The Cheese Manicotti was rejected by all four of
my pets, and I believe the leftover Squashed Salisbury Steak is growing a new
sort of fungus in our fridge. Are your pets used to fresh food? Avoid Grundo’s
at all costs.
Cost: approx. 1300np. Plus doctor’s appointment for next day.
Food of Meridell– Meridell
I must admit, I really wish I could remember to come here during daylight hours,
when it is a lot more pleasant. Since a run in with Illusen (get your own darn
pie, lady), I have avoided the place like the plague. But I am indulgent when
it comes to my pets, so I wore a disguise. I was the biggest Chia anyone had
We tend to Pick-Our-Own berries, which is very entertaining and delicious.
If the Potato Counter Owner is feeling generous that late at night, he’ll sometimes
roast us up some potatoes and we’ll eat them along the river as the sun comes
If my pets aren’t too hungry, we play Cheese Roller a few times to win some
cheese to put on the potatoes, or just nibble at on the way home.
The Brightvale Fruits shop is notorious for closing at eight at night and not
catering for the Midnight Snacking crowd and I frown upon that.
Cost: around 1000 np for the berries and the Cheese Roller games.
Food of Tyrannia – Tyrannia
Omelette and jelly are the two most economical foods of Neopia, but I won’t
dwell on that. The food of Tyrannia seems to be a bit blood thirsty and meat-like
for me. I can highly recommend the Tangy Tyrannian Cheese and Crackers for the
ideal snack; I often send my Neopets to training with Cheese and Crackers as
a snack. Ransaurus Steak, Bargasaurus Steak and Archaesaurus Tail all tend not
to be deboned... and there was the incident where the tail was still kicking.
But my Aisha survived and is a sworn vegetarian. Only for the meat lovers.
Cost: approximately 1200np for four dishes plus free omelette
Food Club – Krawk Island
This is quite top secret, but the night we ventured to Krawk Island, I forgot
our dubloons, and we were turned away from the Golden Dubloon into a horrible
storm. Luckily, the members of the Food Club had drunk quite a bit of ale and
were happy to let us in to dry off and to sample some of the dishes before the
competition the next day. The food we were offered was a Cheese and Tomato Sub,
a Cinnamon Swirl, some Negg Stew and a Grapity Slush. All delicious, and the
patrons there really are friendly – as soon as I agreed to putting a bet on.
Cost: 160np for bets.
Food of The Island – Mystery Island
My pets have trained on Mystery Island for a rather long time, and we tend
to nap at the Training School until we leave at dawn. We often stop for snacks
at Island Food. Cocoa Juppies are the Negg of the future, whilst shrimptail
with Kelp sauce made us quite thirsty and sick. Funnydew Melon will cure every
thing from Neopox to Bloaty Belly, and is something I often bring home with
Food of The Mountain – Terror Mountain
Having to make the trip to pick up our scratchcard stocks every night, often
we bunk with Mika and Carassa in exchange for some Hot Soup bought especially
from Neopia. Before we head off to Mika and Carassa’s home, though, we usually
pick up some food. Slushies are always a favourite, the highlights being Mystery
Berry Slushie, Sour Blue Slushie and Strawberry Blend Slushie, especially combined
with a bag full of Sherbet Lemon Chia Pops.
My only complaint is that after visiting Terror Mountain and staying in Mika
and Carassa’s igloo, and eating all this snowy, cold food, my pets and I always
end up with colds, which results in a large Hot Soup consumption, and a week
in bed. If you’re heading off to Terror Mountain, rug up, take lots of hot food
with you, and maybe by Chia Pops and Slushies from your Roo Island vendor.
Cost: 1500np. Slushies aren’t cheap.
Café Kreludor – The Moon of Kreludor
I find the Moon of Kreludor unpleasant because on the particular evening we
visited, breathable oxygen was -28% and I was turning blue. We finally arrived
at Café Kreludor, after hearing it was like Grundo’s, but edible and classy.
We were ready for a feast of Moon Cheese Sandwiches and Jelly Pie. But we were
going to be disappointed. All the Café had that night was Kreludan Rocket Cookies;
the cook had gone home, and a pathetic looking Neopet looked guilty when my
Uni started to cry – possibly because she was hungry or because she couldn’t
actually breathe, we will never know.
Cost: the cookies are 1000np each.
Neopia Central – Neopia
Since I started writing this article, my pets have had the flu, the Neopox,
severe depression around mealtimes and several rather serious bouts of food
poisoning. I myself have had my Chia disguise confiscated due to scaring the
locals, and I have turned an unfortunate shade of green – possibly because Illusen
heard I had been in Meridell, possibly because I attempted to eat the fungus-covered
Squashed Salisbury Steak that remained in our fridge, we shall never know.
So, when we woke up at three this morning, hungry and nervous about today’s
plans, we were all rather relieved today was Neopia Central and set off. And
I must say, we ate more food that usual – the things enjoyed by all were Spicy
Chicken Burrito, Mushrolivepepper Pizza, Pepperoni and Mushroom Pizza, Large
Super Lemon Grape Smoothie, Veggie Hot Dog and Strawberry Aisha Cookies, which
we ate under the Money Tree.
Maybe it was the fact that we spent twice our budget on our meal, or we all
walked away without food poisoning or the chills, but it was the most gratifying
midnight snack we’d had. And now, since most of the vendors are used to us tramping
about before four in the morning, they leave the leftovers for us.
Cost: 2 500np.
The most valuable lesson about food in Neopia, is that next time a certain
Uni refuses to eat her vegetables, or my pets turn their nose up at a second
helping of Glowing Jelly, all I have to do is remind them of Grundo’s… and there
isn’t a crumb left on anyone’s plate. And that, my friends, is priceless.
And the Neopian doctors are still trying to turn me back the right colour,
and due to the fact I am now green with purple spots, I have been given back
my Chia costume. If you see a six foot Chia, it is not the food you ate at Kelp;
it is just your friendly neighbourhood scratchcard dealer.