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Be Well Advised


by heretosee

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The following is a public service announcement.

As many of you are aware, Sahkmet has rather recently disappeared. An event of such proportions understandably started a planet wide search into the cause of the disappearance. Many are claiming this is all part of some sort of plot, but really, who would plot such a thing? Yet an obsession has taken Neopia by storm and the consequences have been drastic and many. Are you taking part in the search for Sahkmet? Do you really understand what you are getting yourself into? Pet owners, do you know where your pets are?

While the search for Sahkmet may seem innocent enough, we beg of you to understand what this whole event is doing to our planet. An obsession with this “Lost Desert Plot” has been sweeping Neopia, leading many to be diagnosed with what officials term Obsessive Lost Desert Plot Disorder, or OLDPD. The number of OLDPD sufferers is rising rapidly. What’s more, it is not just the victims of OLDPD who suffer as a result of the disease; their friends, family, and indeed all of Neopia have had a price to pay. OLDPD has been wreaking havoc anywhere and everywhere; for example:

A number of strange pet and pet owners were seen examining the bark of all the trees in the Haunted Woods. They claim deciphering the message the bark contains will lead them “to the proper door”. The situation turned ugly when one of the aforementioned pets tried to take a sampling of the Brain Tree's bark home for reference.

Young and old pets alike are carrying around strange paper with all sorts of markings. Usually these papers contain colored shapes with odd symbols over them. It has been reported that these papers perhaps contain a secret code being used by OLDPD sufferers to communicate with each other right under the noses of their owners, parents, friends, and families.

Authorities have received reports from sailors of pets seen swimming far out in the ocean over Maraqua. Each was seen carrying a single glass of water and swimming slowly toward shore. When questioned about their strange behavior they claimed to be “unburying Maraqua”. The pets are currently being housed at the Neopia Central Hospital where they have busied themselves in un-potting all of the hospital's plants.

The Neopet Toy Shop has reported a recent break-in, which our sources indicate may be connected to OLDPD sufferers. It appears the Toy Shop had just finished producing a large shipment of NeoBlocks and had stacked them in a pile in the corner. When workers returned in the morning all of the blocks, save for a few that allowed the pile to attain its original shape, had been removed.

Robbery has shot up elsewhere as well. Numerous home owners have reported break-ins. The thieves seem to show a preference for furniture because they left all other valuables behind. Homeowners who recently built new neohomes have also reported that their unfurnished homes have been broken into. While nothing was damaged, strange chalk markings were left on the floors.

The sudden disappearance of a number of librarians should be enough to put most Neopians on the edge as well. Who’s next? Firemen? Teachers? Farmers?

We’ve also received word of a growing anti-Yurble sentiment across the planet. Yurble owners are becoming frustrated by the onslaught of Battledome challenges they’ve been receiving. Ruki owners and Tuskaninny owners have reported a similar rise in Battledome challenges. When questioned many of the challengers refused to comment and often walked away muttering about a repository, slow furniture makers and an insane interior decorator. For this reason it is advised that interior decorators, carpenters, and the like be especially cautious when wandering the streets, especially within the vicinity of a Battledome.

In addition, sources have indicated to authorities that several members of a shady underground organization known as TNT are being held in an unknown location in the desert and forced to work long hours on the production of something called “cloos”. They suspect that several sufferers of OLDPD are behind this event, as this “cloos”, whatever it or they may be, appear to have become the central fixture in OLDPD sufferers’ lives. Those brought in for treatment have been recorded screaming for “more cloos”. Many claim that “cloos” can reveal the future or lead to fame and riches. This is, most certainly, very alarming. One nurse who witnessed such an event said “It was the saddest thing I’ve ever seen, that poor Lupe screaming like a madman. Look what this 'cloos' has done to this creature! Look at what he’s become! It must be stopped!”

The lengths people have taken acquire “cloos” is astonishing. A startling number of pet owners have been caught forcing their marine-based pets to work long hours at heavy labor in the middle of the desert. When asked how they could treat their water loving pets so badly, each and every one reported the “cloos” as the motivation for their action. One Koi owner even said, “Why do you care what I do with my Koi? He likes working for 'cloos,' don’t you? He’ll keep working too till I find some new cloos!”

Yes, this new addiction to the desert must indeed be stopped. Far too many of our own have fallen victim to the desert and the “cloos”, and without immediate action this epidemic may never be stopped! Just recently a list of over one hundred symptoms that sufferers of OLDPD show was published. Do you really want such things happening to your loved ones?

For this reason authorities are asking all parents, authority figures, and all citizens of Neopia to educate their family, friends, employees, and anyone else they might think of about the dangers of OLDPD. While authorities are working as fast as they can to combat this problem OLDPD is spreading at an alarming rate. For every OLDPD sufferer who enters treatment four more go out in search of sand, Sahkmet, and the “cloos”. They are forsaking food, sleep, and sanitation, choosing instead their horrible “cloos”. We reach out to all Neopians, please, help us combat this problem.

If you or someone you know suffers from OLDPD, do not be discouraged. Help is available for this horrid disease. Your neighborhood medical clinic should be well stocked with all the supplies necessary to end your constant need for the “cloos”. Treatments are simple and pain free. You can replace your “cloos” desire with, instead, a desire for chocolate or perhaps a fondness of asparagus. You will be given the opportunity to partake in exciting daily activities such as nailing down furniture. Do not worry about payment, your presence is enough. A kind, concerned Neopian, who prefers to remain anonymous, signing his or her letters to us with a simple Dr. S., has generously donated more than enough neopoints to cover the costs of treatment of any and all citizens who choose to seek aid. So, for the sake of your family, friends, and all of Neopia, go there, seek help, and join the fight against OLDPD.

 
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