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An Interview with the Desert Food Stall Grarrl


by dark_knights_sabre

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Sahkmet, inside that weird Dimension thingy Jazan put it in - Hello, good reader, this is an interview with one of the most ignored half-heroes of Neopets, that Desert Food Stall Grarrl guy. I have decided to write an article about how I, and my lupe Basabre, traveled into the Lost Desert where Sahkmet used to be until Jazan put it into that underworld type place, and somehow found a portal to the middle of the quickly dying city to write about an interview with the Grarrl himself. Sorry about the run-on sentence. There, after running around and screaming from the zombie-like Neopets, we found and broke into the make-shift hide-out of the Grarrl and a few of the Desert Scarabs. Here’s what happened:

*heavy thumping on a door*

Grarrl: “Get ready, here comes a zombie!”

*thumping continues*

Basabre: “Hey! Let us in!”

Horace, the blumaroo Desert Scarab: “What the - Did one of them just talk?”

*Basabre and I break down the door, and the Desert Scarabs immediately draw their weapons. Basabre and I put our hands up*

Me: “Umm, We’re just here for an interview with him.”

*I point to the Desert Food Grarrl*

Grarrl: “Alright, put your weapons down. Why do you want an interview with me?”

Me: “Well, you see, sir, we want an interview with you because - AAH! LOOK BEHIND YOU!”

*everyone turns around and sees a zombie come through the door way we busted through. Basabre jumps behind it and whacks it on the head with his notebook. It falls unconscious on top of a crate of tchea fruits*

Grarrl (with a surprised look on his face): “Wow, thanks. You really saved me there. Sure I’ll give an interview, but first let’s fix the door first.”

*We all barricade the door so that hopefully no one or nothing will be able to get in, which takes us about half an hour*

Me: “Okay then, First question: Is Sahkmet actually where you’ve lived all your life?”

Grarrl: “No, I lived in Tyrannia last summer for about a month and moved back down to Sahkmet. Besides that, yes, I’ve lived in Sahkmet all my life and I used to love it until that freakish Kyrii Jazan put in here.”

*the Grarrl’s eyes grow red and he starts growling at the thought of Jazan, so I back away a few inches and make sure my sweatshirt is covering the ‘I love Jazan!’ shirt I'm conveniently wearing*

Me: “Alright then.” *scribbles some stuff down in my notebook* “Second question: HOW CAN YOU STICK PETPETS ON STICKS AND EXPECT SOMEONE TO BUY IT AND EAT IT!?! That’s from my Yurble, Bemarca, who sometimes helps the Petpet Protection League. Sorry about that.”

Grarrl *shifty eyes*: “Uh oh, they know about me?”

Me: “Yeah, I guess so.”

Grarrl: “Are they here right now?”

Me: “Does he really look like a Yurble?”

*points to Basabre, who is in a corner and playing cards with the Desert Scarabs*

Grarrl: “Well, no, not really. Next question. NOW!”

Me *a little frightened, and doesn’t write anything in notebook*: “Okay, Third question: Are you aware that the Desert Scarabs over there have been stealing from you?”

*Desert Scarabs look up from their card game and watch with wide eyes*

Grarrl: “Yes, I am and have been fully aware that they have been stealing my products, but it's all part of the plot and TNT pays me 20,000 neopoints everyday for participating in it. Your partner is eating an unpaid for ummagine right now. That’ll be 85 neopoints please.”

*I turned to stare angrily at Basabre, and see that the Scarabs are sighing with relief while he is stuffing the fruit in his mouth quickly so that no one can see.*

Me: “Basabre!”

Basabre *spitting chunks of ummagine at the same time*: “Wot??”

Me *hands neopoints to the Grarrl*: “Err, next question: Which side do you think will win this war?”

Grarrl: “Hopefully the Sahkmet side. I wouldn’t want to think of a world without this beautiful city.”

Me *writes down answer in notebook*: “Fifth Question: Is it true that you were the true killer of King Coltzan the III and tried to frame Advisor Wessle?”

Grarrl *does that shifty eyed thing again*: “Well, no, of course not… I wonder where you could have possibly come up with that idea…”

Me *writes down ‘YES! I KNEW IT WAS HIM ALL ALONG!’*: “Alright, Sixth question: Doesn’t it make you sad that although you’ve helped heroes in both Lost Desert plots, you aren’t very popular or well liked?”

Grarrl *smiling broadly*: “Yes, I’m also very well aware of that, but because I do such a good job of not getting mad about it, TNT often pays me double what the heroes get. Don’t tell anyone.”

*he stares at the Scarabs and hopes they didn’t hear*

Me: “Do you know if they read the Neopian Times?”

Grarrl: “Yes, of course they do. Everyone here in the plot does.”

Me: “Oh.”

*gulps and hopes the Grarrl doesn’t notice*

Grarrl: “Say, who are you writing this for anyway? If word of this goes out to ANYONE, I’m in trouble.”

Me *stutters and tries to make up a lie*: “W-w-w-well, this is actually out of my pure interest in you and…”

Grarrl *eyes turn red with anger again*: “HEY! Your writing this for the Neopian Times, aren’t you?”

Me: “Well, um, I… RUN BASABRE! RUN LIKE THE WIND!”

*I grab Basabre by a paw, smash the barricade, and stumble back into the portal, avoiding zombies on the way*

*Grarrl stands outside the doorway with the Scarabs, watching as I run*

Grarrl: “Hmm, maybe I should have told her I was kidding and that I wanted to be in the Neopian Times.”

In the end, we luckily got out of Sahkmet with the interview and only two angry zombies chasing us, of which Basabre quickly fought and knocked out by also sneaking up behind them and whacking them over the head with his notebook, and then walked home to Mystery Island and sent the interview in to the Neopian Times. Yet again, I believe I’m talking in run-on sentences.

Sorry.

 
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