There are ants in my Lucky Green Boots Circulation: 107,594,495 Issue: 215 | 4th day of Storing, Y7
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Apoc vs. the Morphing Potions


by mystery_island111223

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"Apoc, come downstairs, breakfast is ready!" Apoc the Christmas Bori put down hs Darigan Kougra plushie and went downstairs.

      "Morning, Apoc, did you sleep well?" his owner MI asked, ruffling Apoc's fur.

      "Don't do that!" cried Apoc. "I'm an evil dictator and I don't want my fur ruffled!"

      "Sure," his owner replied. "You just focus your evil energy on this Neocrunch."

      "What!? Evil dictators don't eat neocrunch! Did Sloth eat neocrunch? What about Captain Scarblade? 'Aar, gimme my neocrunch'? I don't think so!"

      At that point MI shoved a spoonful of neocrunch into Apoc's mouth. Enraged, Apoc spat it out across the table onto his Kougra brother Junglecat, who was polishing his newly purchased Kougra claws.

      "MI! Get him out of here!!!" cried Junglecat, who was trying to jump at Apoc, but slipping in neocrunch.

      "Okay, school's about to start. Both of you get going. Bye cutie!" said MI.

      "Cutie?" asked Junglecat.

      "I was talking to Apoc," said their owner. With that the two left, Apoc spitting bits of cereal and Junglecat muttering something about favouritism, leaving their owner to throw out the neocrunch, deciding from now on to serve his pets toast.

      As Apoc sat down in class a strange looking Hissi walked up to him.

      "Hi Apoc, do you mind if I sit here?" she asked.

      "Yes," Apoc said darkly.

      "You're funny. Here, want me to show you my new ball?" She then proceeded to open her backpack. Apoc was about to offer to do it for her given that she had no arms when it slipped and her school supplies fell out on him. He was about to open his mouth when the Hissi spoke first.

      "Aaaw, you're so cute. Would you like a lollipop?" she asked.

      At that point Apoc lost it.

      "I'm not cute!" he screamed. "I'm an evil genius! What part aren't you people getting? What part of me screames adorable little neopet!? Can't you look past that!? Don't you care about the evil things I've done? What's wrong with you!?" To prove his point (which was likely that he was temporarily insane) Apoc jumped out the classroom window, which was really quite a bad idea, as it was closed.

      After a quick trip to the hospital Apoc returned home. He hid in the yard until his owner went to the market. At that point he crept inside and up to his brother's bedroom. His brother, who was named MinionForApoc (or Min) had been sick with Neomonia for a week.

      Min's bedroom looked identical to Apoc's - Sloth posters everywhere, a few mutant plushies, weapons scattered across the floor, and a big pile of files on evil crimes they had committed. Apoc called out to his brother.

      "Hey Min," said Apoc. The yellow Tonu turned to face Apoc.

      "Apoc!" Min cried. "Shouldn't you be at school?"

      "No, I need your help. See, everyone thinks I'm really cute. They treat me like a baby. How can I enslave Neopia if I can't strike fear into the hearts of everyone?"

      "Well duh," said Min. "You're a Christmas Bori. What do you think, your tail will scare them? You've got little berries attached to it. You should get painted mutant or something."

      "Aw, but I can't afford it. Plus, Bori don't come in mutant!"

      "So?" said Min. "We'll go out and get you a nice Transmorgifi- Transmogirf- those things Sloth sells, and you'll be terrorizing the public in no time!"

      "Thanks Min!" cried Apoc as he hugged his brother.

      "No sweat," said Min. "Hey, you do know neomonia's contagious, right?" Apoc's eyes widened.

 

      "Greetings kind sage. We have heard that you know much of these shops. We request a minimally priced elixir which if drunk, will transform the drinker into an object of immense fear and preferable strength!" Apoc turned to the JubJub expectantly. "Come now, while we're still young!"

      The shop wizard blinked.

      "He wants a cheap transmogrification potion!" said Min.

      "Oh," replied the shop wizard. "Do you care which kind? Because we've got a good bargain on a mutant Krawk one. Only 250 000. Bargain of a lifetime!"

      "Excellent!" said Apoc.

      "Bleaugh!" Apoc cried as he drank the potion. "What's in that!?" Before Min could answer Apoc grew a tail, then another eye. As his fur turned to scales, and his mouth became a snout, he began to laugh.

      "This is it!" Apoc roared, flexing his new body. "Neopia will be mine!"

      "So what should we dominate first?" asked Min, as they travelled along past a stream. "Cause I always liked Terror Mountain, and it's a good strategic location!"

      "Yes, but the space station could let us gain access to Sloth technology." argued Apoc. Suddenly their debate was cut short by an Aisha running towards them.

      "Isn't that Loretta Fontaine from the Golden Dubloon?" asked Apoc.

      "Don't move!" cried Loretta, taking out a tranquilizer. "The chef needs new ingredients for the krawk pie!"

      Min and Apoc dived into the stream. As Loretta looked about, then walked off, Apoc gave Min a look, and they began to head back towards the shop wizard.

      "Hello again," the friendly JubJub said. "The potion not work out? Ah well, we've got a nice Jetsam one at just 180 000. What about it? No, don't you answer, just the Tonu!"

      "That'll be great. You'll scare the public, and be limited edition too!" Apoc nodded in agreement.

      One hideous DNA altering process later, Apoc shook the liquid off his scales. He whipped his tentacles around and ground his teeth happily. The shop wizard was looking more and more delicious. Oh yes. This was a Jetsam.

      "So how is it?" asked Min. Apoc opened his mouth to respond and choked. He tried to speak but no words came out. He felt around on his neck and to his horror found gills. Oops.

      Apoc crawled to a stream and dove in. He sucked the water in through his mouth and swam around for a bit. He sighed. There couldn't be a more perfect form for world domination, but how could he enslave the planet while underwater? Reluctantly he swam up to the surface. Min handed him another potion. Apoc chugged it without a second thought.

      He instantly felt the change. Firstly he shrunk. Then his teeth jutted out. His ears pointed and he could suddenly hear Min telling the shop wizard how ugly he looked. He smiled. He was a mutant Cybunny.

      "This is great!" Apoc cried. "And I don't think I could jinx us by saying nothing could possibly go wrong!" He hopped off, with Min right behind him.

      Apoc decided to inform the public of his world domination. Now most world dominators use a signal to display their message worldwide, but Apoc didn't have any of that so he quite simply walked into the grooming parlour and screamed it to everyone there.

      "Greeting world!" Apoc cried. "Within a few hours I will dominate the earth. I sincerely hope you enjoy your last hours of freedom!" He suddenly stopped. All the pets in the shop were staring at him.

      "Look at the Cybunny!" one cried.

      "I think it has Bloaty Feet!" said another.

      "Get it!" cried a third. Apoc turned around to find it was Min who said the last one. He glared at the Tonu and began running.

      A few hours later Apoc and Min collapsed near a field.

      "Please Apoc, this isn't working. Just buy a Bori morphing potion, a paint brush, and we'll go home!" Min stared at Apoc pleadingly.

      "No way!" cried Apoc. "But you may have something. Maybe we're going about this all wrong. Maybe mutant isn't the ideal colour for world domination!"

      "I think you're right!" said Min. "What about Halloween?"

      "Good thinking," replied Apoc. "Maybe a Halloween Aisha?"

      "Yeah!" cried Min. "They look odd, but not scary enough to make a vicious mob of hairstylists and tavern waitresses come after you. It'll be great!"

      So Apoc went back to the shop wizard. He bought a Blue Aisha Morphing Potion and Halloween Paint Brush and sprinted off to the Rainbow Pool. Ten minutes later he returned.

      "This is great," Apoc said. "Why didn't I try this years ago?"

      "Because you're only nine months old!" said Min.

      "Shut up!"

      At that moment a Lupe came up.

      "Hello ma'am," he said. "Nice costume!"

      Apoc promptly grabbed the Lupe by his collar and hung him at the top of the Mystery Island volcano.

      "Don't say a word, just change me," Apoc said. "I"ve got it! The key to world domination is the element of surprise. And nobody would suspect someone like a baby to dominate Neopia. Maybe I should become a baby!"

      Min moaned, feeling sure that both MI would notice the 1 600 000NP they had taken, and that Apoc's infant lifestyle would end wretchedly. But nevertheless he bought first a Yellow Chia Morphing Potion, then a baby paint brush. Apoc was soon a drooling yellow chia, who immediately began to cry.

      "Ssshhh don't worry, mommy's here!" said Min. The baby's face darkened.

      "What did you say?" asked Apoc.

      "What? But you were crying!"

      "Are you implying that you are my mother?"

      "No I-"

      "Cause you really shouldn't say that. It's creeping me out!"

      "Hey what were you crying over in the first place?"

      At that Apoc went red.

      "I, uh, kinda made an accident!"

      Min stepped back.

      "Well? This was your idea, change me!"

      Min was about to point out that this whole mess was Apoc's idea, but the process of changing him was much too distracting. Min stepped back and tripped over a log.

      "Fine!" cried Apoc, picking up the brush. "Then let's see how you like it!" With a swift movement the startled Tonu had become a giggling infant who was eating his bib.

      "You widdle! Aaah! Wook at this! Change me! Waaaa!"

      "No bite! Waaaa!"

      This continued until a passerby tossed them Christmas and yellow paint brushes. They got up, relieved not to be in diapers anymore.

      When they headed back home MI greeted them.

      "Hurry in," he said. "It's not safe out there! They say there's a crazed mutant Cybunny with big feet outside!" Apoc rolled his eyes. Everything was back to normal.

      As Apoc sat on his bed and listened to his owner find his bank now had 1 600 000NP less than that morning he turned to Min.

      "That was a huge waste of time," Apoc said, listening to his owner's screams. "We wasted over a million neopoints for absolutely nothing!"

      "Well you learned appearances aren't important," replied Min.

      "What? That's completely untrue! Loretta tried to cook me as a Krawk, they attacked me as a Cybunny, and I suffered gender confusion as an Aisha. Where have you been?" Apoc got up. "I'm going for a walk."

      As Apoc walked down the hall Junglecat passed him.

      "Hey Apoc!" he called. "Comb that hair. Your haircut makes you look just like Sloth. Ha!"

      Apoc stared at the mirror. Junglecat was right. He did look like Sloth!

      Apoc smiled. He would take over Neopia yet.

The End

 
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