There are ants in my Lucky Green Boots Circulation: 151,901,457 Issue: 213 | 20th day of Collecting, Y7
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Eating Your Neopoints


by mystery_island111223

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"MI? I'm home!" cried Min. Min was a yellow Tonu who lived with his owner and brothers. He had at the moment just returned from neoschool. He sat down in the kitchen and noticed a note taped to the table.

      "Gone to Haunted Woods for vacation. Forgot to book you guys in the Neolodge. Sorry. There's food in the fridge. MI. Great!" Min jumped up. This meant a whole weekend of free time. He could explore the Deserted Tomb, visit Krawk Island, the sky was the limit! He couldn't wait to tell everyone. But first, a snack.

      Min opened the fridge. Tonus had naturally large appetites and Min was no exception. He quickly surveyed the fridge for anything edible. He noticed some Wheat Flakes, a Poisonous Lollipop, and a Sausage Omelette. He sighed. None of these crummy leftover foods would work at all. He was just about to head to the Money Tree when he spied some neopoints on the table. He quickly counted them. There were thousands. Attached was a note that read 'For lack of food'. Min breathed a sigh of relief.

      Then Min blinked twice. He wasn't a very bright Tonu; his owner gave all the books to his brother, and even when there were a few left, someone else would grab it first. So he figured there was only one logical solution. MI obviously wanted him to eat the neopoints.

      Min tried one. He bit into it. Nothing. He bit harder. Nothing. And now his teeth were starting to hurt. But Min was hungry, and nothing would stop him from getting his meal. After several more bites he finally cracked the neopoint. He slowly chewed it and carefully swallowed. He coughed. A little bland from being in somebody's pocket all day. But not half bad. It tasted like there was some gum attached to it.

      About an hour later, Min's brothers came home. A green Kougra named Junglecat came first, shaking his wet fur and sneezing. He had just finished a class at the training school, and it had began to rain on the way home. Next came a Christmas Bori named Apoc and a white Grarrl named ApocClone. They had gone to a friend's house, and had gotten kicked out when Apoc tried to sell the family petpet to the Pant Devil. They entered the kitchen, by which time Min had eaten over three thousand neopoints.

      "Hey everyone!" Min stared up at his siblings. "MI's gone away for the weekend so it's every neopet for himself!"

      "What are you eating?" asked ApocClone, glancing at Min, who had his mouth full of neopoints.

      Min opened his mouth. The pets could see over two hundred neopoints.

      "MI said we could have them in case there was no food!" Min stood up angrily. "I saved you all some!"

      Apoc rolled his eyes and very slowly explained to Min the difference between eating neopoints and spending them. He gathered up the remaining neopoints and put them in his wallet.

      "Hey!" cried Min. "You can eat neopoints! After a while your teeth get used to them and they taste kind of neat! C'mon, try them!"

      Junglecat shuddered. ApocClone stared at Min.

      "You know, I've eaten shoes, fans, bottles of sand, even sludge!" He turned away. "But that's just weird!"

      Min sighed. He ran out of the kitchen and through a garden that led to his room. Unfortunately it hadn't stopped raining. Min crawled into his bed and shook himself off. He reached for his wallet and pulled out five hundred neopoints. He began to munch them and as he did, he felt a little better. He sighed and went to sleep.

      The weekend passed quickly. Junglecat threw a party on Saturday and went into a panic state on Sunday, cleaning the house and bribing Apoc so that MI wouldn't find out about the party. Min spent his weekend eating the neopoints Junglecat dug out from behind the couches. He lay down on Sunday night and sighed. Life was good.

      The next morning MI shook him awake.

      "Wake up!" he cried. "You're going to be late for neoschool. And by the way, do you know anything about a party? Apoc was telling me something about one, then Junglecat attacked him and began screaming about a deal. Any idea what they're talking about?"

      "No. Hey MI, can you give me some money for lunch?"

      "What?" His owner turned to him curiously. "But last time the cafeteria food made you sick. Remember how you got Neomonia?"

      "Oh no, I won't eat the food!" Min popped a neopoint into his mouth. "I'll eat the neopoints!"

      "Min, is that safe?" MI felt the Tonu's forehead. "You aren't sick, are you?"

      "Relax. I've been eating neopoints all weekend!" Min got up and walked away. "Surely I would have gotten sick by now?"

      Min walked outside and began to walk to neoschool. He noticed his faithful Christmas Doglefox MinMin, right behind him.

      "They're wrong,boy. Neopoints taste great, and I can handle them. Want one?" Min flicked a neopoint at his petpet. MinMin jumped up and the neopoint hit him on the head. The Doglefox dropped back down to the ground, out cold.

      Min quickly glanced around. An elderly Zafara was running towards him screaming about petpet abuse. She was closely followed by two members of the Chia Police. Min grabbed the neopoint and ran off.

      The morning went normally enough, except Min ate the 2000 NP he needed to go on the class field trip to Meridell. Finally the bell rang to go to lunch. Min ran to the cafeteria and sat down beside his faithful Hissi companion, Harbinger307, also known as Har.

      "Hey!" said Min. He opened his Lupe Warrior Lunchbox and took out 800 NP.

      "Are you sure you should buy a lunch?" Har asked. "Remember how last time you got that food poisoning?"

      Min ate a few neopoints then offered one to the Hissi.

      "Want one?" he asked. "I washed it so it doesn't taste like jeans anymore!"

      "Maybe I'll sit over here, okay?" Har grabbed his lunch and flew off. Min sighed and bit down on his neopoints. They didn't understand. Not his owner. Not his siblings. Not even his friend. Min picked up the neopoints and headed to the back of the cafeteria.

      "One Tigersquash Corn Dog please!" Min handed the Chia on duty 100 NP and walked back to his table. He stared at the corn dog. He glared at it. Then with one swift motion he threw it across the room, accidentally hitting an angry Jetsam, who headed for Min screaming. Min gulped and ran off to his next class.

      Min sat at the front of his math class. He didn't think it was fair. Just because Apoc got Mrs. Malon for math first period, and just because he had published a story involving her, she took it out on their whole family. At the moment she was glaring at Min, anxious to catch him cheating on the math quiz.

      Suddenly he was struck by an overwhelming pain. He fell off his chair and rolled around on the floor. He moaned a bit and turned to his teacher.

      "Face it, Min, we all know you're faking. Min? Min??" Mrs. Malon's face faded away as Min passed out.

      Min woke up in a bed in the hospital. A Gelert was standing over him. Around him were some strange machines. He spotted MI in a chair nearby. MI looked up.

      "What happened!?" asked Min.

      "The neopoints interfered with your stomach. You passed out. Are you feeling alright?" MI stared at Min. "But you were lucky. I don't want you to get hurt, so don't eat neopoints anymore, okay?"

      Min stared at the ground and shook his head.

      "Good!" said MI. "Make sure you give this to the doctor before you leave!" He handed the Tonu an envelope. Min felt around in it.

      "That's the 20,000 neopoints your hospital stay cost me. Are you sure you're okay?" MI stared at Min.

      "Sure, I feel great. I'll meet you at the front desk in ten minutes!" MI walked out and closed the door. Min sat up. He sighed and began to pull himself out of bed. Then he stopped.

      Min stared at the neopoints.

      The neopoints stared back.

      The delicious neopoints.

The End

 
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