How to Have Fun With the Lab Map
This story is in dedication to all those poor lab pets everywhere!
My name is Layoutacara, Lay for short. I recently had
a very…shall we say interesting experience with the lab ray…but it turned out
to be quite fun! So this is a story telling just how a poor lab pet can really
have fun with the lab ray. : )
"Ohhh, Lay! Come see what I've got for you! "
My owner's singsong voice came from the door.
I poked my head out from under the bed (which
is no mean feat, seeing as I'm a baby Acara, and my horns are always getting
stuck everywhere). But anyway, I was hiding under the bed because of an unfortunate
incident involving a now melted ice desk and a fire jug that I had opened (accidentally,
of course). Batting my eyelashes heavily, I ran across the room and exclaimed,
"Oh, joy! My favorite owner in the entire world has arrived home!"
My owner looked at me suspiciously as I stood
right in front of a large puddle. Apparently she didn't notice that her desk
was missing, because she smiled and brought her bag over to the table.
"I got your favorite today… a rasmelon smoothie
and Chili hotdog! Oh, and guess what else I got… a petpet!"
A Hopso hopped awkwardly onto the table. I picked
it up and started petting it and cuddling it and everything until it hit me.
I frowned. "Okay, what's up? For my BIRTHDAY, all you got me was a balloon.
Now, it's just a regular day, and you give me my favorite meals AND a petpet!
My owner sighed. Then she took out her bag again.
"Well…. I was kind of hoping… maybe you'd like to? I don't know…"
She reached into the bag and pulled out a piece
of paper. Then another. And another. She pulled out six more. Wait…. they had
stuff written on them… it looked like a drawing… or… a map….
I woke up. For the first time, I realized I was
quite comfortable in my bed. Then I realized that this was a real bed, not my
itchy straw one. While I looked around this unfamiliar place, a Lupe doctor
came over to me.
"Oh, good to see you're awake! Well, your owner
is in the waiting room, I think she'd like to see you now, of course." He crossed
the room and a kind Cybunny who appeared to be a nurse came up to me.
"Oh, hello dear. We've been so worried about
you, you know. You've been asleep for quite a few days now. Oh, but I bet you're
wondering why you're here!"
I tried to nod vigorously, but found that it
hurt, so all I managed was a weird diagonal half-nod. The nurse seemed to understand
"Yes, well you took quite a nasty fall, you know!
Your owner" --here she threw a dirty look at the door which my owner was probably
behind-- "told us that she was about to show you the lab map that she had bought
to use on you. Apparently you took one look at the map, and went into a kind
of shock. You fell on the floor and hit your head, and you've been asleep for
a few days. Honestly, the nerve of some owners, trying to force their pets to
go to the lab ray!"
She glanced across the room to see the doctor
Lupe returning with my owner.
"Well, you take care now. I expect the doctor
won't want me crowding you with information. Buh-bye!" She walked over to another
patient's bed, just as my owner came up to mine.
"Oh, Lay! I'm so sorry!" She reached over to
hug me but I withdrew quickly; her sleeves were soaking.
"I'm sorry, but I don't want to get all wet.
Why are you wet, anyway?" I asked.
"Oh, I only came back to the hospital a few minutes
ago, before I was in our neohome. It was really weird, there was this huge puddle
of water. And our beautiful Ice desk is gone. It's so weird!" She said again,
staring thoughtfully into space.
I giggled, but managed to conceal it as a cough,
though the nurse who was straightening my sheets chuckled. Grinning, I said,
"Yeah. Really weird. But anyway, when are they saying I can get out of here?"
The same nurse looked up and smiled. "If you
feel okay, you could leave now, if you'd like. Just make sure you drop by the
healing springs later, okay?" She leaned into me while my owner wandered off.
"And if I were you, I'd look into replacing that desk."
A few hours later, after I had been checked out
of the hospital, my owner and I were at our neohome again, about to eat dinner.
"You know, Lay," she said, pulling out from
her backpack a disgusting looking omelette covered in barbecue sauce. "You could
give the lab ray a chance. I mean, it could turn you into a royal Acara, or
a faerie Acara, or make you level 15 million bajillion! Or you could turn into
a beautiful Ccybunny, or Kyrii, or Uni, or…"
I scooped the omelette off of the floor where
my owner had dropped it while she was daydreaming.
I rolled my eyes and interrupted her. "-- Or
I could be turned into a level negative one hundred, or turn me into Techo,
or paint me skunk, or sponge or…" -I shuddered at the very thought - "Asparagus!"
My owner frowned, and I continued. "The only way I would ever, ever, EVER set
FOOT in that lab would be if you got me-"
But before I could finish, my owner grabbed me
by the shoulders and plopped me down on a chair. She sat down on the opposite
side. "Listen," she said flatly. "I am your owner. I don't HAVE to buy you anything
to make you use the lab. You WILL, and that's the end of it!" I narrowed my
"Great!" I exclaimed. We were walking by the
shops in Neopia Central. I looked down at a list that was longer than I was.
"Okay…. we're nearly done, now… We've got the angelpuss, the baabaa, the warf,
the kadoatie, and the frowny…we also have all thirty different kinds of balloons…complete
sets of both bottled faeries and codestones…now we need to do is go to the Neolodge
and book my reservation for the day after the lab day." I grinned up at my owner.
"I really do NOT know how I get myself into these
things," she muttered. I ignored her as usual.
"Now, remember, it's the AstroVilla, and if you
even TRY to book the Cockroach Towers, I swear, I will never even consider the
lab ray AGAIN!" I laughed. "And, make sure that I have all the extras, you know,
the restaurant, the burger bar, the fitness center, the NT delivery--to my DOOR,
mind you-- the maid service, the en-suite bathroom," I paused to take a deep
breath. "The Jacuzzi/spa, grooming, the swimming pool, tennis courts, sauna,
AND laundry facilities. ALL for…. I don't know, say…. two weeks?"
My owner looked at me incredulously. "TWO WEEKS?"
I smiled at her, mildly surprised. "Yeah, isn't
She started to freak out. "Um, no, that is NOT
okay. First off, do you know how much that would cost? The AstroVilla, with
all the extras, for fourteen days? I don't think so! And secondly, the lab ray
is only for ONE DAY. I mean, come on!"
Not even glancing up from my list, I nodded,
"Yeah, whatever. Okay, after we book the hotel, we still need to visit Kayla's
potion shop, you know, to get a baby Acara morphing potion, just in case I get
turned into a tomato Chia or something. But, first I think you need to stop
off at the bank, so let's hop to it!" And so we walked to the National Neopian,
with my owner grumbling something about being practically on a junior saver
The next day, after my owner had ordered a room
in our neohome to be made completely of gold my owner began to talk to me again.
"Okay, I have bought you EVERYTHING you have EVER wanted. Now you HAVE to go
to the lab ray with me!"
I rolled my eyes. "Oh, all right. Well, let's
go now, and get it over with," I replied grumpily.
My owner looked surprised I had given in so easily.
She pulled out her backpack. "Oh-well, okay. First we have to put the map pieces
together-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" She screamed as a pile of ashes fell
out of her backpack. I grinned. It looked like I had 'accidentally' opened another
fire bottle. : )