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The Bookstore Book Reviews... For the Third Time!


by precious_katuch14

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NEOPIAN BOOK SHOP – Hello fellow Neopians, and I, Kat the terribly annoying amateurish author will be your guide for today! Now, I shall be taking you, dear reader, through some chosen books in the bookstore (and maybe some other good reading materials from the Faerieland book shop and Booktastic Books in Kreludor), giving some lovely reviews along the way! Now, can I hear a big whoop of affirmation?

=Huge dust ball rolls past=

Never mind…anyway, just in case you’re wondering, blubblub317 has decided to turn over the responsibility of reviewing some Neopian-type books to me, Kat! YAY FOR ME!

=A pin drops to the floor and the sound echoes=

Ahem…shall we proceed with the list? If you get bored, infuriated, depressed or furious at my article, you can always go to the bookstore itself and look up the titles for yourself, or just thwack me with a rolled-up copy of the last issue of the Neopian Times.

Brightvale Castle – Oh, is it a place? =Shoves nose into book= But how can I get in?

Defend Yourself – With this book…what? It’s true; it can double as a very good shield in times of need!

Sarah’s Guide to Neopia – It’s also known as the Help Section.

Where the Elephantes Roam – They roam HERE in NEOPIA, for gosh sakes!

Bird Watching – Birds? Birds don’t exist in Neopia, you know…Maybe Beekadoodles and Pterii, but not birds…

Making Kau Plushies – Why bother with the book when you can just make Kau plushies in Freaky Factory, eh?

My First Mazzew - …Cost me a lot of Neopoints and is my last Mazzew as well, since many people are asking to borrow it for the Mazzew avatar and making crazy but stupid offers on it and now I’m ranting in this article so help me stop myself!

Kau Comics – Why bother when you’ve got great comics in the Neopian Times already? There’s more than enough in there!

Fishing for Techos – What are we, the Techos’ slaves? Let them catch their own fish!

Unhappy Tails – Tails don’t have feelings, they’re just tails! Gee, when will they quit with the tails?

A Tail of Two Krawks – Typo or real tail? How confusing.

Scorch E O – How to burn two commonly used vowels just for the heck of it…

Finding Illusen – Also known as Going to Meridell and Turning Left at the Turmaculus’ Realm.

Banana Wars – AAAAAHHHH! It’s the green bananas vs. the yellow bananas! Save the innocent civilians! Watch out for the evil banana bombs and the fatal banana peels – too late, I slipped on one already…

Maraquan Faerie Tales – There’s such things as Maraquan faeries? Where? I haven’t heard of them yet!

Rainbow Faerie Tales – Okay, so there are rainbow faeries too? Wow, you learn new stuff everyday…

Kau Faerie Tales – But this is going a tad too far!

Wocky Cookies – Cookies out of Wockies? How brutal!

Krawk Pot Recipes - Making dishes with Krawk Pots, whatever those are...

The Hot Scorchio Cook Book – This book is HOT! No really, I mean…OUCH! This book burns like heck!

Chia Journal – So is this a journal that only Chias can use? If so, how biased! Or is this a journal of some famous Chia that he left behind? If so, how did he disappear? If this is a journal all pets can use, will they fill it up with meddling questions like I filled this article with silly questions, reviews and nonsense?

Charge – What you do when you’ve got no more Neopoints to spend. But in Neopia, do credit cards exist?

Daffodil Diary – Flowers actually keep diaries of their own? How…extraordinarily paranormal?

Techo Secret Journal – AGAIN with the journals! See questions asked on the “Chia Journal”, but substitiute Techos for Chias.

JubJub Journal – Here we go again…=pokes the review above=

Super Lupe Comics – I thought we had the Neopian Times for such comical comic matters like this.

Eyrie Diary – OK, it’s not a journal, it’s a diary, but…what’s with the “Eyrie” bit? Please see my other questions on the journals…

Cooking for Skeiths – Is this book really necessary? Skeiths will eat anything, cooked OR uncooked…

Hatching a Draik Egg – Also known as, “The Way to the Secret Draik’s Nest That Will Make Your Dreams Come True Because It Will Give You a Draik Through a Simple Draik Egg”.

Kyrii Country – Where else do Kyrii live anyway? In Neopia, of course!

A Maraquan Menu – The existing menu to a non-existent restaurant.

Improving Your Hut – It’s as simple as tearing the cover of the book and using it as foundation for your Neohome to make it sturdier.

Forbidden Pteri Tales – Yeah, it has a lock. But every lock has a key, and soon these “forbidden” tales will be revealed for all of Neopia to read!

Well, Kat is finished and you are relieved because of that! There you have it, a bunch of books reviewed by yours truly without going insane and screaming, “WEEWOO!” at the top of her lungs waving a frying pan at anyone who dares stop her! Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this article as much as I enjoyed tiring my eyes looking for books to review, tiring my feet going to the bookshop, tiring my behind from sitting in front of the computer all night, and tiring my hands typing this thing.

For the last time, YES, I asked for and received permission from my good friend blubblub317 to write this article! If you remember, he did the last two. I said he let me do it! I’m not plagiarizing, copying, cheating or stealing!

=Silent pause=

Do you doubt my honesty?

=A Weewoo scurries past=

Aw crud…anyway, this is the REAL end of the third Bookstore Book Reviews! Yes, I’ll end, finish, wrap up, close, and clear it right now! Will there be more articles like this in the near insane future? No one knows…except the Island Mystic…and maybe even HE doesn’t even know if there’ll be a fourth, fifth, sixth, or one millionth issue of the Bookstore Book Reviews! So I’ll leave that thought hanging for you guys out there…

Yes, you may stop reading now. I COMMAND YOU! Now please switch to another article/story/series/comic to read before I bore you out of your wits. This is Kat, OFFICIALLY signing off. Yes, I’m gone now, and you can all cheer.

A/N: I'd like to formally thank blubblub317, one of my great friends, for helping me with the descriptions and granting me to trash...I mean, write...another version of the Bookstore Book Reviews. It was his idea in the first place, after all.

 
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