Caution: Quills may be sharp Circulation: 90,555,988 Issue: 164 | 29th day of Collecting, Y6
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Getting Freaked over Korbat's Lab!


by terryshade

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GAMES ROOM - Are you aiming for that sparkling trophy or that insanely funny-looking avatar, but just can't seem to concentrate on bouncing that silly ball the right way? Well, never fear, for I shall give you a few tips to help grasp victory! That'll make those pesky Korbats stop in their tracks and start bawling their eyes out!

First, the overview of the game:

Korbat's lab is basically a game where you control a bat that you use to bounce a ball back to the top of the screen to destroy boxes for points. There are random items, monsters, and different blocks to make the game more interesting. The introduction music, personally, is pretty annoying as well.

And now...the tips:

Tip #1 - I would recommend playing this at the first of every month. It's pretty self-explanatory, but I might as well go ahead and help out those slow Skeith's out there. You want to play on the first, of course, because you want to send your score in as soon as possible, giving OTHER people less time to beat your amazingly high (hopefully) score and ensuring your placement as one of the top Korbat's Lab scorers for that month! (If you get in the top 20 or so, you of course get a nice trophy and the avatar, but for the avatar, you just need to be in the top 50)

Tip #2 - When playing this on the "first of every month", you'll want to find a nice, COMFORTABLE place to relax your mind, arms, and gluteus maximus. Basically, find a quiet place where no nagging parent or sibling will bother you, and get comfortable with soft pillows and a nice armrest. I envy the people who have leather desk chairs for their desktops, for it should make the game a lot more enjoyable. Be prepared for an exhausting effort into the game. An average time of two hours will guarantee you a spot in the top 20 at least!

Tip #3 - Set the screen to be on the widest it can be. Sometimes the ball just seems to merge with the background and you'll be searching blindly for it. Making the screen bigger boosts your visibility, enabling you to "not die as fast". Also, if you can, play it as on a Explorer Window. The reason is your Internet might randomly decide to freeze on you, and I'm sure there will be vulgar in the air if that did happen. Though, I'm sure you "cable" users will have nothing to fear!

Tip #4 - Turn off those darn sound effects! The continuous ball-bouncing and block elimination effects can seriously drive player crazy and mess them up, which lead to more vulgarness. Also, for those "Instant Messaging" users, I suggest putting up an away message. You never know when a old friend might just decide to IM you to forgive you for an argument 5 years ago, or when your Grandma wants to know how her little "sugarlump" is doing, and completely mess you up and use one of your lives. And please don't forget to make sure you "hide the windows" and "turn off sound" as some of the options when you put that away message up. There are plenty of annoying people who like to talk to away messages...not that I know any...

*ahem* Tip #5 - When playing, avoid most of the potions, since nearly all of them are no use to you. Here are a list of items from the game:

Black Potion: Restarts the level without taking away the points you've earned from that same level

Blue Potion: Slows your bat down

Flashing Potion: Boosts your bat's speed

Green Potion: Makes a rocket you control with the arrow buttons that can destroy on or two wooden blocks

Money Bag: Gives you 50 extra points

Orange Potion: Blows up a random section of the blocks, but causes a skull to fall

Orange Potion with Red Outline: Removes all monsters from play for that level

Purple Potion: Enlarged bat

Purple Potion with White Outline: Shrinks bat

Red Potion: Let's your ball eliminate and plow through wood blocks and steel blocks, no matter the number or position for an average of 5-10 seconds

Skull: GAME OVER

White Potion: Skips you to the next level

Yellow Potion: Directions are reversed

I recommend trying to get the red potion, the orange potion with red outlines, the black potion, and the money bags as well. But NEVER risk a life for a potion or a money bag, since what's the use of the potion if you lose a life?

Tip #6 - I've noticed that the direction the ball goes after it smacks from your bat is sometimes random. USUALLY, it will go to opposite direction if your moving in the same direction as the ball when it hits. That means, if your moving your bat towards the ball that's dropping towards you, it'll bounce off and continue in the same direction. Practice a little with this, and you'll get the hang of it (for the most part). Also, the angle is important at getting through those tiny cracks of the wall and the steel blocks. Practice with that as well, and like with the bat, you'll get the hang of the angle you'll want. After all, practice makes perfect, and with an avatar and trophy as your incentive, there is no going wrong!

Tip #7 - Now that you've basically know where the ball will go after the bat, and most of the angle perspectives, you'll need to learn to use it to your advantage. You'll want to avoid the Korbats, since they reflex the ball back randomly. Sometimes they'll get the ball to go back down SLOWLY, bouncing from the right of the wall to the left and back again, driving thousands of players to the nuthouse. The spiders barely affect you, but you'll find that they'll randomly pop out from the top and deflect the ball. Nothing you can really do about that unless you happen to find an orange potion floating down your way.

Tip #8 - ALWAYS keep the bat under the ball. Follow it like a petpetpet would follow it's petpet which would follow it's pet would would follow you! Sometimes, when you're so absorbed by the amazing notion of angles, you won't realize the ball is headed for the ground on the other side of where your bat is, and you'll be holding down the arrow key and silently prodding the bat to go faster. Sometimes, you make it just in time. Most of the time though, you die. So always follow it, and you'll have a hard time dying.

Tip #9 - Take a break when you need it. Not in the middle of a game of course, but after you're done with a level, or when you used up on of your lives. If that happens and you need some serious relaxation, leave the ball on the bat, get up, stretch, walk to the fridge and get a can of soda and some grub, go back upstairs, and continue. I think you'll feel a bit better.

Tip #10 - Your Choice! Anything that may give you more concentration to the task at hand, or just give you a bit of peace. Usually, I put some music on, and I feel a lot more calm. Others may find it disturbing, especially if a song comes on and you know it and start singing it on the top of your lungs. This may results with rocks being thrown through your window or your cat may just jump out the window into the tree for relief. Oh yeah, and you might lose a life on Korbat's Lab as well.

Well, that's my little helpful guide for this annoyingly long game! Hopefully, with my skills and your coorperation, you will get a nice little trophy and an avatar to show off for a job well done!

 
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