Sloth: True Neopian Story
Nothing says Neopets like Fyora or the Space Faerie, Right? Wrong! While you may
see these so-called heroes on young Neopians’ walls, and occasionally giving away
fantastic rewards in return for quests, no one will ever be a symbol of the greatness
that is Neopia like our good friend and evil menace Doctor Frank Sloth. He does
so much for Neopia that it is sometimes hard to remember everything. Don’t you
worry, though; I will be sure to remind you.
Let’s start off with Sloth’s incredible kindness to those ungrateful little
miscreants known as Grundos. Not only did he get them off of their horrible
home planet and provided them with jobs and food, but he also gave them education.
Grundos will never be very smart, but what they do know they owe to Dr. Frank
Sloth. As far as these rumors of Sloth using them as some sort of evil slaves,
I see this as a simple misconception of the truth. Grundos didn’t get to the
point they are at now by playing Advert Attack all day. Sometimes a few extra
chores can be great to build character. I believe the Grundo Independence Event
was nothing more than a huge misunderstanding. It is great to see that a few
of Sloth’s former minions are now returning to him. It is nice that some are
thankful for what the doctor has done for them.
As if this great act of charity wasn’t enough, let’s look at another reason
that Dr. Sloth is the greatest Neopian of all time. Have you ever heard of the
Happiness Faerie? Well, while you may not know it, this is an alter ego of Sloth
himself. If Sloth wants one thing for all Neopians, it is happiness. He tries
to help everybody out, even at the expense of his own pride. For you, he will
put on wings and prance around like one of those crazy faeries that you see
around Neopia all the time. This is an important thing to remember about Sloth,
not many others care for you enough to do such a thing. What a guy, right? So
next time you see the Happiness Faerie be sure to take note of how much the
Doctor cares for you.
Sometimes heroes can be defined by what kind of impact they have on Neopia.
This can be one of those cases. Absolutely no one has had more of a lasting
affect on our little planet than Sloth. He has made a company that has redefined
the face of all Neopia. Virtupets is the biggest juggernaut to be produced to
date. With millions of Neopoints in liquid funds and billions more of property
and inventory, this company alone is enough to make Sloth a hero. The company
is set on a space station in the Neopian sky. I am sure that you have visited
it at one time or another. With food shops, petpets, and even a Grundo adoption
agency, Neopia wouldn’t be the same without it. So things may be a little pricey,
and there may be a few Neopoint pits like that lever we’ve all pulled a few
times. Sloth has to make neopoints just like the rest of us; it doesn’t take
away from the good he does.
Still not convinced of Sloth’s hero status? Well I have a reason that you won’t
be able to resist. We all love to collect avatars, right? Well, do you know
who made the first avatar? If not, look at whose picture is on it. It is none
other than the great doctor himself. Sloth presented the idea of avatars to
the Neopet’s Team years ago, and he is often skipped when the time to give credit
comes around. Sloth doesn’t complain about it, however, he just lets Neopets
take credit for his brilliant idea. Sloth is such a team player, isn’t he? You
should definitely remember this the next time you go to the Neoboards. Nobody
cares about you like Sloth.
Now I know what you are thinking, he can’t have any more reasons. Well, you
are wrong, my friend, because I have plenty of reasons that aren’t listed. Have
you ever heard of a little game called Advert Attack? Well, even though it is
a game making Sloth look like a Neopoint craving monster, Sloth still allows
Neopets to use his face and name free of charge. Now that takes a real hero.
By giving those rights, you receive more Neopoints from the game. He even gave
you an avatar for the game. He really gives more than we will ever know.
What about robots? Ever had a robot petpet or alarm system on your Neohome?
Well, none of those things would be possible without the genius technological
mind of the doctor. He singlehandedly provides you and everyone else in Neopia
with robotic assistance in every phase of their lives that they desire help.
From the lab ray to petpet paint brushes, robots are everywhere thanks to our
good friend, Dr. Frank Sloth. Dr. Zappy at the lab ray also deserves a little
credit for the lab ray, but this isn’t his article.
One last reason, as if you really need it, to make Sloth your new hero is his
groovy hairstyle. Not many Neopians could pull off the spiky green hairstyle
that the doctor has made his own. If you are a fashion guru like me, you are
sure to notice the effectiveness of his “do” to accentuate skin tone and facial
features. Another awesome feature to his appearance is his super awesome black
lab jacket. It is so shiny that your eyes can’t help but get lost in the stylishness.
Many others have tried to pull off this look, but as I’ve said, it’s not easy
to do. His trend setting proves that he is not afraid to be himself, which is
a sure sign of a leader, and nothing says hero like being a leader.
So, as you can see, nothing is more obvious than the fact that Sloth is the
biggest hero in the history of Neopia. Sloth should be loved, not hated. He
should be respected, not envied. Next time you see Sloth, thank him for being
so great because he does it for you. So let’s all say it one time for the road,