Now with 50% more useless text Circulation: 105,225,448 Issue: 209 | 23rd day of Gathering, Y7
Home | Archives Articles | Editorial | Short Stories | Comics | New Series | Continued Series
 

The Neopian Annual Pasty Eating Contest


by sassygrrl24

--------

MyLittleLupe24 sat at the kitchen table reading the latest issue of the Neopian Times that she'd wrestled from x_xHaPPY_KiTTY_x's paws earlier that morning. She took a bite of her breakfast croissant and scanned an article.

     "The Neopian Annual Pasty Eating Contest" by sassygrrl24

     "The Neopian Annual Pasty Eating Contest (NAPEC) is almost around the corner, folks! Okay, a couple months away. The NAPEC is a 150-Neopoint entrance fee contest that lets all of those Neopets that like to eat pasties compete in a contest especially for them! There are eighteen rounds: one for each pasty there is in Neopia.

     "There will be an estimated 150-Neopet limit for this contest, so make sure to sign up! See the Food Shop's owner, the cheerful Chia, to sign up, and make sure you do quickly, folks!

     "And that's it from your writer! Make sure to tip your waiter!"

     "Wow!" Jeff exclaimed, glancing over the article again.

     Pinky sighed, trying to grab the newspaper. "What?" he asked irritably.

     "There's gonna be an annual pasty eating contest in a couple months," Jeff said enthusiastically. "And I'm gonna enter!"

     Pinky rolled his eyes. "Good luck with that." He snatched his paper back. "Ha!"

     Jeff got up from the table, put her dishes away, and walked up to Sara. "Sara?" she asked. "Can I go to the Food Shop?"

     Sara, who was digging around in their Faerie fridge, got out to glance at Jeff. "Yes, but you just ate breakfast," she pointed out.

     Jeff laughed. "Not for food, Sara," she said. "I'm going to enter the NAPEC."

     Sara glanced at her. "The what?"

     "The NAPEC. The Neopian Annual Pasty Eating Contest!"

     "Oh," Sara said. "Yeah, if you pick up a couple things for me. We're low on stuff." She gave her pet 2,500 NP. "Make sure to bring everything you get back to us!" she said sternly as Jeff left.

     Later, Jeff came back from the Food Shop. "Here's your stuff!" she said happily, handing Sara the food. Sara took it.

     "Thank you, Jeff. Did you get in?"

     "Yes I did. The Chia was pretty mean, though. I don't know why they call him the cheerful Chia."

     "Well, he does give you the food."

     "Oh. I brought back a pizza pasty for me. Can I eat it now? I have to make sure to practice," Jeff said.

     Sara laughed. "Of course. Just don't eat us out of house and home."

     "Thanks Sara!"

     Months passed by, and Jeff practiced and practiced eating pasties. A pasty for breakfast, a pasty for lunch, a pasty for a snack before dinner, a pasty for dinner. She only gained five pounds the whole time.

     Jeff read books about pasties, wrote stories about pasties, sang about pasties, and wrote poems about pasties. She was hopelessly obsessed, like Pinky was with books and Snot was with puzzles. (And how Sara was obsessed with music, but that's another story.)

     "Sara! I'm going to the Neopian Annual Pasty Eating Contest!" Jeff announced from the front door. She was all ready to eat until she was stuffed.

     Sara yelled from the kitchen, "Jeff, why can't you just call it the NAPEC, like everybody else?" she asked. "But you can go anyway!"

     Jeff paid no attention to the question and ran out the door with her black Meowclops back pack over her large, brown, furry shoulders.

     The NAPEC was being held in the Food District, right near the Food Shop in the main shops. Jeff had been preparing for months for this contest. She asked other Neopets in the Neoschool if they wanted their pasties and ate them all at lunchtime. Sometimes she never ate her own lunch.

     Jeff's personal favorite pasty was the pizza pasty. Sara equipped Jeff with the Exploding Pizza Pasties in the Battledome sometimes. Jeff knew better than to eat those.

     Jeff turned the corner and met her best friend, Zerxioy. "Hi, Xi!" she said. She almost tripped over the mossy sidewalk.

     Xi smiled. "Hi, Jeff, where are you off to?" she asked, fluttering her angel wings. She smiled. "And how is your family?"

     "To the Neopian Annual Pasty Eating Contest," Jeff said proudly. "And they're great, thanks for asking."

     Xi laughed. "So that's why you eat everyone's pasties at lunch," she smiled.

     "Yup," Jeff said. "Where are you off to?"

     "The Faerie Petpet store. I'm going to see if they have any Faellies in stock."

     "Good luck! Bye, Xi!"

     They said their good-byes and Jeff was back on track. She was getting close to the food district.

     There was a huge crowd when she got there. Neopets of every kind, from alien Aishas to white Wockys. Some were plump, some were very slim. Jeff wondered how they would win the contest.

     "All right everybody!" the Food Shop Chia said through a microphone. "Let the Neopian Annual Pasty Eating Contest begin!"

     Contestants in the contest were set at a long, narrow table with a plate in front of them. They had an hour to eat the most pasties they could.

     Jeff was seated next to a garlic Jubjub and a green Mynci. She said hi to them, but they didn't say anything in return.

     BUZZZZZ! The NAPEC buzzer went off. Each participator got a plate. The first pasty was a broccoli and cheese pasty. Jeff ate it in one huge bite. So did the Jubjub and the Mynci, she noticed.

     The next pasty was spinach and asparagus. Jeff turned up her nose and ate it anyway.

     After fourteen more rounds-the invisible pasty was the hardest-Jeff sat bloated in her seat. She wondered what the next pasty was. She glanced down the sides of the tables. There were only three more pets including her and the green Mynci next to her. The Jubjub had gone out when they served the squirming squid pasty. He had almost choked.

     "The Exploding Pizza Pasty, everyone!" The plates were served. It was indeed an exploding pizza pasty.

     Jeff winced. She couldn't eat this. She'd explode. Unfortunately, neither did the Mynci or the other Neopet (a blue Bruce).

     "Well, we'll just have to have a tiebreaker!" the Chia announced. Jeff wanted to choke that Chia. He had laughed at the Jubjub when he choked on his last pasty, and he giggled at the Peophin that had refused to eat the seafood pasty.

     The "tiebreaker" was a three-layer 'mystery pasty' which tasted a lot like the chocolate marshmallow pasty and the curried pasty mixed together to Jeff. She choked it down in a second. She was half a second too late. The Mynci won.

     Buzzers went off and confetti fell from the sky. The Chia stood at the podium with a huge grin on his face. "The winner is the green Mynci in the front next to the creepy-looking Lupe!"

     Jeff gritted her giant jaws. That Chia had gone too far. But not to worry. She had a plan for that mean Chia.

     The green Mynci accepted the giant gold award two sizes bigger than himself. Jeff scowled angrily. She hated the color green. She especially hated the color green on Neopets (besides her own eyes and her brother Snot). Especially green Neopets that got the trophy she should have won.

     Jeff got a shiny, smaller second place award, and the blue Lupe got the very small bronze third place award. She looked very happy.

     After the award ceremony (which was very long and included very big words she hadn't studied in Neoschool), Jeff walked up to the Chia with a pizza pasty in her hands. "For you," she said with a smile.

     "Thank you!" the Chia exclaimed. He took it. And Jeff ran.

     Ka-BOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

     And that was why.

The End

 
Search the Neopian Times




Great stories!


---------

The Return of Scarblade: Part Two
"Garin, you do not understand. Everything changes the future, but my visions always come true."

by funkiechunkymunkie

---------

Neopia - Journal by Alkiore A. Aisha
This is an article of exploration made by a brave explorer, Alkiore. The following is based on true events, which happened to our brave explorer when he was sent to the planet we know only as “Neopia.”

by devilneko

---------

Salem 'n Soni
"So... why are you a vegetarian?"

by mintymaid

---------

Smelly Nelly
"Receives a gift."

by i_hate_backstabbers



Submit your stories, articles, and comics using the new submission form.