Why You Shouldn't Bug Jhudora
FAERIELAND - Have you ever gone on a quest for Jhudora before? Did you realize
at Level 3 that you preferred Illusen's to Jhudora's? Have you considered telling
this to her? Well, before you go getting yourself turned into a mortog, I suggest
you skim through this passage and save yourself from some very croaky and embarrassing
1. One thing that you should never say to Jhudora is:
“Why don’t you try giving out some nicer prizes? I hear Illusen gives out cream
cookies for her first quest, which are much better than your mildly dangerous
Of course, this is as far as you’ll get because at this point Jhudora will
have shoved the poisonous lollypop into your mouth, forcing you to eat it and
you’ll have to stumble away from her cloud over to the Healing Springs.
2. Upon returning from the Healing Springs with a fairly sore jaw and a broken
lollypop stick, do not say:
“Gosh, Jhudora, can’t you be nice like the Water Faerie at the Healing Springs?”
This won’t go over well with Jhudora and you’ll have to walk back to the Healing
Springs with a broken lollypop stick stuck in your mouth.
3. If, at this point, you’re foolish enough to return, do NOT walk up to Jhudora
and ask for a new, unbroken lollypop. If you do this, you may end up with two
broken lollypops in your mouth.
4. After your third visit to the Healing Springs, don’t head down to Meridell
to try and help out Illusen. Jhudora will catch wind of this and she will NOT
5. After successfully completing all of Illusen's Quests, don’t go anywhere
near Jhudora's Cloud while reading the Earth Spell Book you got from Illusen.
Jhudora may decide to turn you into a very unpleasant looking mortog, if you
make this mistake.
6. If you DO accidentally read Illusen's Earth Spell Book in front of Jhudora
and she DOES end up turning you into a gross mortog, do NOT hop onto her lap.
Hopping onto Jhudora's lap will cause her to be greatly disgusted and she may
either zap you into a pile of dust or throw you off her cloud.
7. Let's say she chooses to throw you off her cloud and as you’re falling a
kind air faerie saves you. Do not, under ANY circumstances, shake your small
webbed mortog fist at her cloud. She WILL see you and she WILL throw a toxic
shroom at you.
8. So now you’ve dodged the shroom and you decide to pick it up and throw it
back at her cloud. Bad idea. Jhudora doesn’t take kindly to shroom throwers,
and especially not those who throw shrooms at her cloud! She’ll probably send
her Bartamus after you.
9. Okay, so you’ve been turned into a mortog and are now being chased by a
completely insane bat-looking creature with claws. A good idea would be just
to say sorry at this point. But, of course, you’ll probably just decide to throw
your Earth Spell Book at the bloodthirsty Bartamus. This will probably either
knock it unconscious or cause it to become even angrier!
10. Let's say you knock it out. Well, all right. You’ve just knocked out Jhudora's
favorite petpet. Good job! If I were you I’d run away quickly. Unfortunately,
you’ve been turned into a mortog so all you can do is hop and croak in a very
desperate fashion. Of course, Jhudora WILL catch you. And we all know what she
does with naughty mortogs… off to ‘KISS THE MORTOG’, with you!
11. All righty then, so now you’re a participant on Kiss the Mortog. Unfortunately
you ARE the mortog and if kissed, you’ll either explode or turn into a prince.
Being as it’s a 50% chance either way and your luck so far has been terrible,
you’ll probably end up exploding… but let’s say you turn into a prince.
12. Well this is just super (If you weren’t a girl before you got turned into
a mortog)! But what exactly are you going to do now that you’re a prince? Well,
obviously Jhudora won’t let you off that easy. If you DO get turned into a prince,
she’ll probably just turn you right back into a mortog. (There’s really no way
to escape it, you’re destined to be a mortog!)
13. Now that you have had your three minutes of non-slimy skin, you’re back
to your mortog form. This sure stinks… Literally. Well, at least Jhudora gave
you some nice pirate clothes to dress up in… wait… uh-oh! Apparently she’s signed
you up for ‘petpet cannonball’!
14. So now you have survived petpet cannonball and been launched into space,
or got stuck in the cannon because you aren’t really the right kind of petpet
for this feat. Well, let's say you get launched into space. It’s really quite
nice on Kreludor, but being a mortog you don’t breathe space air!
15. Luckily, you find your way over to the Café Kreludor, where you can breathe
normally and get a space helmet. This, however, does not seem to please Jhudora,
who comes after you and forces you to leave the café and kicks you off Kreludor.
16. Oh my… Falling from a cloud is one thing, falling from the moon is another!
So you fall… and you fall… and you continue to fall until you land right smack
dab in the middle of the open ocean. You look all around you, but there doesn’t
seem to be land for miles. Well, there’s nowhere else to go but down, so you
dive down under the waves. Good thing you still have your space helmet form
Kreludor. It’ll help you breathe underwater.
17. You swim down, down, down and finally you find yourself in New Maraqua!
Seeing the famous restaurant ‘Kelp’, you head in to see if you can find a seat.
Of course, ‘Kelp’, being a classy restaurant, prides itself in not allowing
mortogs inside. So, you’re thrown out by two very large and angry looking Maraquan
18. That didn’t go too well and now your helmet’s cracked. Darn! So you speed
swim over to Underwater Fishing where you can breathe easy again. But, unfortunately,
you don’t have another helmet so all you can do is sit and wait for Jhudora
to find you. Being a magical and mildly obsessed evil faerie, Jhudora finds
you rather quickly and takes you back to her cloud where she forces you to say:
“Jhudora is the most beautiful faerie ever, more beautiful than Illusen and
Fyora and Taelia and Jhuidah and all the other faeries put together.”
Over and over and over again for twelve hours until you can no longer pronounce
the spoken faeries' names anymore!
19. At this point, you are probably feeling very irritable, and when Jhudora
tells you she wants you out of her sight you shouldn’t but do reply:
“Yeah, well, you aren’t that great to look at, either!”
So now you have to praise Jhudora for another hour so that she doesn’t turn
you into a Sludgy! Unfortunately, that doesn’t work and she ends up turning
you into a Sludgy anyways!
20. Was it worth it? I don’t think so. Next time, you may just be better off
keeping your mouth shut around Jhudora. Or just don’t do her quest! But now
it’s too late for that and you have to trek back to your neohome leaving a trail
of sludge behind. You’ll also have to explain to your neofriends and family
why you slightly resemble a pile of dung with eyes. Oh well, maybe next time
you’ll just do Illusen's quest and not bother with Jhudora. That does, after
all, seem to be the safest strategy.
P.S. Well, those are all the tips I have to offer. Right now, I have to go
hide from Jhudora. After all, she’ll be hearing about this less than flattering
article soon and I’d rather not be around when she ‘lets off steam’. I like
my non-mortog skin just fine, as it is, thank you very much! If you have any
Unfortunately, Super Mom never did get to finish this postscript; when we went
to her home, all that was left of her was this article and a trail of sludge…