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The Toilet Repair Man

by sweetie_me274


Frank Evans, the local Toilet Repair Man, sat alone at his dinner table as he quietly ate a Spicy Chicken Burrito. The flour tortilla his burrito was made of was fairly stale and the beans tasted like mud. It was the Blumaroo's only dinner, though, so he ate it anyway.

      He had had a busy day at work. Eight repair jobs. Six of them flooding problems, one a rusty pipe, and one that just clogged terribly. What a day. And there was the one Neopian who would not stop talking while Frank tried to do his job. What a chatterbox.

      As he finished his dinner, the yellow Blumaroo got up and hopped to the kitchen for a glass of water. His burrito wasn't fresh, but it was still spicy. He cooled his throat down and slowly hobbled out the front door and down his driveway.

      Slowly he walked to his mailbox and opened it up to find one, and only one, new neomail. Frank carried it under his arm as he trudged back home.

      Frank sat back down at the kitchen table as he opened the neomail. It was sealed tightly and he finally ripped it open angrily. Extremely frustrated, he began to read the neomail.

     From: sweetie_me274

     Dear Frank Evans,

      I heard from a friend that you are the best Toilet Repair Man in all of Neopia Central. Let me just say that is certainly something to brag about. Well, I think I might need to test your skills. Yup, I have a job for you.

      You see, I have four pets, so I have a large Neohome. Two floors of rooms and a very lovely garden out front, if I do say so myself. Now, of the thirteen rooms in our Neohome, two are bathrooms. The downstairs one is fine, but the upstairs one is just weird.

      I'll try and explain. The toilet won't flush. Not exactly. It will, but not properly. My Poogle, Graphie, went…and…well, you know. She tried to flush, it EXPLODED, and the whole room was covered with dung. It's been a week, and luckily I've scrubbed it clean, but it still smells a little. And worst of all, I'm afraid it will happen again.

      We haven't been using it, but it's getting very hard to share just one bathroom. I'd really appreciate it if you could come by tomorrow at 4:00 NST, it would be fabulous. Rest assured that you will have a very hefty paycheck if you deliver.

     Thank you A MILLION!


      The Blumaroo read the neomail several times. The toilet…exploded? Dung everywhere? Frank had never had such an unusual job…along with such unusual owner and pets. He sighed and wrote a quick reply saying that he'd be there. Surprisingly, he had no jobs for tomorrow.

      Frank yawned and began to walk up the stairs to his bedroom. Tomorrow would be a long day. He just knew it.



      Frank rang the doorbell at 239242 Market Street, Neopia Central impatiently. The sun was beating down on the poor Blumaroo and he was tired. In one hand was his tool box, filled with everything he needed to fix toilets. The other wiped sweat drops off his brow.

      Soon the door opened. In front of Frank was a tall girl with brown hair. She was wearing a baggy T-shirt and jeans and raised her eyebrow at him.

      "Can I help you?" she asked rudely.

      "I'm Frank Evans," explained Frank, a little surprised he hadn't already been recognized. "Frank Evans…you have an appointment-"

      "Get out. I'm not giving you any Neopoints, Frank Evans. I have no idea who you are!" The girl began to shoo the Blumaroo out.

      Frank sighed. "Sweetie_me274? I'm Frank Evans. The Toilet Repair Man. You have an appointment for 4:00. And right now, it is 4:03."

      All of a sudden, the girl beamed. She pulled Frank in and shut the door behind him. "Frank!" she screeched in a sing-song voice. "Frank Evans! I'm so glad you're here!" For a moment the girl blushed. "I'm sorry for the confusion. I thought you were a beggar or something like that. I do apologize."

      The yellow Blumaroo nodded though he wasn't really paying any attention. "Can I get you something to drink? Eat? How about a back massage?" Frank groaned and walked away from the girl.

      "Please, sweetie_me274. The bathroom. I am on a schedule, you know. Please," Frank pleaded, trying not show how annoyed he was.

      "Oh, I'm sorry!" said the girl. "I get a little distracted like that. Sometimes. And you can call me Christine!"

      "Christine, then. The bathroom?" Frank tapped his foot angrily.

      Christine laughed and ran up a case of stairs, gesturing for him to follow. Frank sighed and tromped up behind her.

      "Here we are," declared the girl, opening the door of the bathroom. Instantly, a horrible aroma filled the Blumaroo's nostrils. It was dung. But not just ordinary dung. Smelly dung. Frank tried to not to gag and concentrate on his job.

      "What's the problem again?" he asked, pinching his nose.

      "It exploded and dung flew everywhere," choked Christine. "But, on a happier note, I cleaned it all up. You can't tell it ever happened, can you?"

      "Not at all," muttered Frank coldly. He was disliking this job more and more. "Now, I shan't be too long. I just need some peace and quiet and it will go quickly."

      Christine nodded. "We run a very quiet household. Besides, my pets won't be home for another fifteen minutes. They're all off playing at my friend's Neohome." With that, she slipped out the door and waved goodbye. Frank took a sigh of relief and locked the bathroom door.


      Frank was making progress, though not much. The smell didn't help, and he was having a hard time figuring out why in the name of Fyora the toilet exploded. But he was glad to have some quiet.

      Unfortunately, it did not stay quiet. In a few minutes, Frank heard several pairs of footsteps thumping up the stairs. Bump. Bump. Bump.

      The Blumaroo winced, but didn't dare unlock the bathroom door. He would just have to ignore whatever distractions they caused.

      "My petpet is cuter than yours!"

      "No way!"

      "Ya way!"

      "Mine is cuter than both of yours!"

      "Glookie is the best of all!"

      Angrily, Frank opened the door and scanned the hallway. It was jammed with four pets and their petpets. There was a snow Bruce with a snow Snorkle by her side, a yellow Poogle clutching a Polarchuck, a red Mynci with a Walein on her head, and blue Cybunny hugging her Christmas Doglefox.

      Steam was coming out of Frank's ears. "Could you all just be quiet?" he snapped, hurriedly sticking his head back into the bathroom.

      "Hey, who's this?" asked the Poogle. Frank sighed and faced the four pets.

      "I'm Frank Evans, the Toilet Repair Man. Can I please get back to my work now?" he sighed. This was turning out to be such a rotten day.

      "I think you need a full introduction," suggested the Mynci. The pets all nodded.

      The Blumaroo put his face in his hands. While he moaned to himself, the four pets formed a circle around him.

      "I'm Graphie and I'm a yellow Poogle!" chimed the Poogle into his ear. "This is my petpet, Oinky. And I like chocolate." Frank groaned, remembering that it was the Poogle who had used the toilet last before it exploded.

      "I'm Snow Angel and I'm a blue Cybunny! This is my petpet, Christmaz Angel. And I'm the cutest of all my sisters!"

      Frank couldn't take another minute of it. "BE QUIET!" he hollered, returning the safety of the bathroom. The pets stopped babbling, shrugged, and returned to their rooms. The Blumaroo sighed happily as he took out some tools to continue fixing the toilet, he groaned. He could still hear the pets. He was just going to have to ignore them.


      He was finally done. The bathroom still smelled like dung, but Frank guaranteed it would not explode. He packed up his tools and ran down the stairs of the Neohome. At the kitchen table sat Christine, reading a copy of the Neopian Times.

      "It's fixed," he boasted proudly. The girl looked up and stared at him.

      "Who are you?" she trembled, stepping out of her chair and backing away. "Get out of my house! Or I'll make you! Just watch me."

      Frank sighed. "Remember sweetie_me274. I'm Frank Evans-"

      "I don't know any Frank Evans!" she screamed.

      The Blumaroo lifted up his toolbox enough for the girl to read what was printed on it: "Frank Evans, Toilet Repair Man".

      Christine squinted to read it, but smiled when she made out what the toolbox said. "Oh! That Frank Evans. I thought you were some beggar sneaking into my home!" She took a sigh of relief. "What are you doing down here! The toilet in question is upstairs!"

      "I fixed the toilet," he muttered distastefully. "I just want to get paid. Please."

      The girl reached into her pocket and pulled out a bag of Neopoints. Frank sniffed it. "How much is in it?" the Blumaroo asked.

      "Fifteen-thousand. Counted every neopoint myself this morning!"

      Frank had stopped paying attention. He was so glad that the terrible job was over and that he was fifteen-thousand neopoints richer.

      "Did you get a chance to meet my pets?" inquired the girl. "They are really just little angels. I'll call them down before you leave."

      The girl turned to call them, but was interrupted by the loud slamming of the front door. She opened it and called out, "Goodbye Fred Evans!"

      "Frank Evans," he hissed to himself as he ran back to his home.


      As the yellow Blumaroo walked up his driveway, he checked his mailbox. One neomail. He slowly walked up the driveway and to the kitchen table. He began to open it, but it was sealed just as tightly as the first one.

      Finally, he opened it. It read:

          From: sweetie_me274

     Dear Frank Evans,

      I'm glad you had such a good time fixing our toilet. It works perfectly now! I hope you enjoy your pay because you deserve every neopoint of it.

      Now I have another problem. The downstairs bathroom is wacko. It's just as bad as the one upstairs was. Except it doesn't stop. It'll explode and hurl dung everywhere, and then ten minutes later it will do it again.

      I hope you can come by tomorrow at 4:00 NST and try to fix it. You'll get another hefty paycheck, I promise.

     Thank you A MILLION!


      As Frank read the letter, he carefully ripped it in half and tore it to shreds.

The End

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