The Toilet Repair Man
Frank Evans, the local Toilet Repair Man, sat alone at his
dinner table as he quietly ate a Spicy Chicken Burrito. The flour tortilla his
burrito was made of was fairly stale and the beans tasted like mud. It was the
Blumaroo's only dinner, though, so he ate it anyway.
He had had a busy day at work. Eight repair
jobs. Six of them flooding problems, one a rusty pipe, and one that just clogged
terribly. What a day. And there was the one Neopian who would not stop talking
while Frank tried to do his job. What a chatterbox.
As he finished his dinner, the yellow Blumaroo
got up and hopped to the kitchen for a glass of water. His burrito wasn't fresh,
but it was still spicy. He cooled his throat down and slowly hobbled out the
front door and down his driveway.
Slowly he walked to his mailbox and opened it
up to find one, and only one, new neomail. Frank carried it under his arm as
he trudged back home.
Frank sat back down at the kitchen table as
he opened the neomail. It was sealed tightly and he finally ripped it open angrily.
Extremely frustrated, he began to read the neomail.
Dear Frank Evans,
I heard from a friend that you are the best
Toilet Repair Man in all of Neopia Central. Let me just say that is certainly
something to brag about. Well, I think I might need to test your skills. Yup,
I have a job for you.
You see, I have four pets, so I have a large
Neohome. Two floors of rooms and a very lovely garden out front, if I do say
so myself. Now, of the thirteen rooms in our Neohome, two are bathrooms. The
downstairs one is fine, but the upstairs one is just weird.
I'll try and explain. The toilet won't flush.
Not exactly. It will, but not properly. My Poogle, Graphie, went…and…well, you
know. She tried to flush, it EXPLODED, and the whole room was covered with dung.
It's been a week, and luckily I've scrubbed it clean, but it still smells a
little. And worst of all, I'm afraid it will happen again.
We haven't been using it, but it's getting very
hard to share just one bathroom. I'd really appreciate it if you could come
by tomorrow at 4:00 NST, it would be fabulous. Rest assured that you will have
a very hefty paycheck if you deliver.
Thank you A MILLION!
The Blumaroo read the neomail several times.
The toilet…exploded? Dung everywhere? Frank had never had such an unusual job…along
with such unusual owner and pets. He sighed and wrote a quick reply saying that
he'd be there. Surprisingly, he had no jobs for tomorrow.
Frank yawned and began to walk up the stairs
to his bedroom. Tomorrow would be a long day. He just knew it.
Frank rang the doorbell at 239242 Market Street,
Neopia Central impatiently. The sun was beating down on the poor Blumaroo and
he was tired. In one hand was his tool box, filled with everything he needed
to fix toilets. The other wiped sweat drops off his brow.
Soon the door opened. In front of Frank was
a tall girl with brown hair. She was wearing a baggy T-shirt and jeans and raised
her eyebrow at him.
"Can I help you?" she asked rudely.
"I'm Frank Evans," explained Frank, a little
surprised he hadn't already been recognized. "Frank Evans…you have an appointment-"
"Get out. I'm not giving you any Neopoints,
Frank Evans. I have no idea who you are!" The girl began to shoo the Blumaroo
Frank sighed. "Sweetie_me274? I'm Frank Evans.
The Toilet Repair Man. You have an appointment for 4:00. And right now, it is
All of a sudden, the girl beamed. She pulled
Frank in and shut the door behind him. "Frank!" she screeched in a sing-song
voice. "Frank Evans! I'm so glad you're here!" For a moment the girl blushed.
"I'm sorry for the confusion. I thought you were a beggar or something like
that. I do apologize."
The yellow Blumaroo nodded though he wasn't
really paying any attention. "Can I get you something to drink? Eat? How about
a back massage?" Frank groaned and walked away from the girl.
"Please, sweetie_me274. The bathroom. I am on
a schedule, you know. Please," Frank pleaded, trying not show how annoyed he
"Oh, I'm sorry!" said the girl. "I get a little
distracted like that. Sometimes. And you can call me Christine!"
"Christine, then. The bathroom?" Frank tapped
his foot angrily.
Christine laughed and ran up a case of stairs,
gesturing for him to follow. Frank sighed and tromped up behind her.
"Here we are," declared the girl, opening the
door of the bathroom. Instantly, a horrible aroma filled the Blumaroo's nostrils.
It was dung. But not just ordinary dung. Smelly dung. Frank tried to not to
gag and concentrate on his job.
"What's the problem again?" he asked, pinching
"It exploded and dung flew everywhere," choked
Christine. "But, on a happier note, I cleaned it all up. You can't tell it ever
happened, can you?"
"Not at all," muttered Frank coldly. He was
disliking this job more and more. "Now, I shan't be too long. I just need some
peace and quiet and it will go quickly."
Christine nodded. "We run a very quiet household.
Besides, my pets won't be home for another fifteen minutes. They're all off
playing at my friend's Neohome." With that, she slipped out the door and
waved goodbye. Frank took a sigh of relief and locked the bathroom door.
Frank was making progress, though not much.
The smell didn't help, and he was having a hard time figuring out why in the
name of Fyora the toilet exploded. But he was glad to have some quiet.
Unfortunately, it did not stay quiet. In a few
minutes, Frank heard several pairs of footsteps thumping up the stairs. Bump.
The Blumaroo winced, but didn't dare unlock
the bathroom door. He would just have to ignore whatever distractions they caused.
"My petpet is cuter than yours!"
"Mine is cuter than both of yours!"
"Glookie is the best of all!"
Angrily, Frank opened the door and scanned the
hallway. It was jammed with four pets and their petpets. There was a snow Bruce
with a snow Snorkle by her side, a yellow Poogle clutching a Polarchuck, a red
Mynci with a Walein on her head, and blue Cybunny hugging her Christmas Doglefox.
Steam was coming out of Frank's ears. "Could
you all just be quiet?" he snapped, hurriedly sticking his head back into the
"Hey, who's this?" asked the Poogle. Frank sighed
and faced the four pets.
"I'm Frank Evans, the Toilet Repair Man. Can
I please get back to my work now?" he sighed. This was turning out to be such
a rotten day.
"I think you need a full introduction," suggested
the Mynci. The pets all nodded.
The Blumaroo put his face in his hands. While
he moaned to himself, the four pets formed a circle around him.
"I'm Graphie and I'm a yellow Poogle!" chimed
the Poogle into his ear. "This is my petpet, Oinky. And I like chocolate." Frank
groaned, remembering that it was the Poogle who had used the toilet last before
"I'm Snow Angel and I'm a blue Cybunny! This
is my petpet, Christmaz Angel. And I'm the cutest of all my sisters!"
Frank couldn't take another minute of it. "BE
QUIET!" he hollered, returning the safety of the bathroom. The pets stopped
babbling, shrugged, and returned to their rooms. The Blumaroo sighed happily
as he took out some tools to continue fixing the toilet, he groaned. He could
still hear the pets. He was just going to have to ignore them.
He was finally done. The bathroom still smelled
like dung, but Frank guaranteed it would not explode. He packed up his tools
and ran down the stairs of the Neohome. At the kitchen table sat Christine,
reading a copy of the Neopian Times.
"It's fixed," he boasted proudly. The girl looked
up and stared at him.
"Who are you?" she trembled, stepping out of
her chair and backing away. "Get out of my house! Or I'll make you! Just watch
Frank sighed. "Remember sweetie_me274. I'm Frank
"I don't know any Frank Evans!" she screamed.
The Blumaroo lifted up his toolbox enough for
the girl to read what was printed on it: "Frank Evans, Toilet Repair Man".
Christine squinted to read it, but smiled when
she made out what the toolbox said. "Oh! That Frank Evans. I thought you were
some beggar sneaking into my home!" She took a sigh of relief. "What are you
doing down here! The toilet in question is upstairs!"
"I fixed the toilet," he muttered distastefully.
"I just want to get paid. Please."
The girl reached into her pocket and pulled
out a bag of Neopoints. Frank sniffed it. "How much is in it?" the Blumaroo
"Fifteen-thousand. Counted every neopoint myself
Frank had stopped paying attention. He was so
glad that the terrible job was over and that he was fifteen-thousand neopoints
"Did you get a chance to meet my pets?" inquired
the girl. "They are really just little angels. I'll call them down before you
The girl turned to call them, but was interrupted
by the loud slamming of the front door. She opened it and called out, "Goodbye
"Frank Evans," he hissed to himself as he ran
back to his home.
As the yellow Blumaroo walked up his driveway,
he checked his mailbox. One neomail. He slowly walked up the driveway and to
the kitchen table. He began to open it, but it was sealed just as tightly as
the first one.
Finally, he opened it. It read:
Dear Frank Evans,
I'm glad you had such a good time fixing our
toilet. It works perfectly now! I hope you enjoy your pay because you deserve
every neopoint of it.
Now I have another problem. The downstairs bathroom
is wacko. It's just as bad as the one upstairs was. Except it doesn't stop.
It'll explode and hurl dung everywhere, and then ten minutes later it will do
I hope you can come by tomorrow at 4:00 NST
and try to fix it. You'll get another hefty paycheck, I promise.
Thank you A MILLION!
As Frank read the letter, he carefully ripped
it in half and tore it to shreds.