60 Things to do in Meridell
Meridell - Well here I sit on a bench outside Merifood, just recovered from throwing
up about twenty times in a row. How was I supposed to know eating 16 raw potato,
18 tasty turnip tarts, and 23 cups of gruel would give you food poisoning? Well
while I sit here, I might as well write fun things you can do in Meridell, as
it looks like I’m not going to do them.
1. Two words: Kiss the Mortog. Wait that’s three, oh well.
2. Keep kissing the Mortog until he explodes and then laugh and do it again.
3. Put on a big mustache and say you are from the Society of Mistreated Animals,
and demand that Kiss the Mortog be stopped.
4. Keep saying you are from the SMA until someone recognizes you as the person
who laughed when Mortogs exploded. Tell them that was your evil twin.
5. Cry dramatically when you lose at Shape Shifter. Trust me, it’ll happen.
6. Demand the game is rigged when you lose at Shape Shifter.
7. Win at shape shifter and prove me wrong.
8. Say you only understand rules when they are written neatly on chalkboards,
and have Sinsi write the rules out for you.
9. When you can’t figure something out, throw the piece to the ground and scream,
“It’s too hard!” Stomp on the puzzle piece for good measure.
10. Have your petpet tap dance for Turmaculus for hours, or at least until
you have an audience that gives you Neopoints.
11. Buy a petpet at the Ye Olde Petpet Shop. Then go and feed it to Turmaculus.
Make Turmaculus throw up, and bring a piece of the petpet back to the shop.
Make them give you a refund.
12. Prove scientifically Turmaculus was drugged. This might take a while.
13. Gather up all the petpets you have and can find, and use every possible
method to wake up Turmaculus.
14. Laugh when the petpets in #13 get eaten.
15. Cry when the petpets in #13 get eaten.
16. Yell at yourself for laughing when the petpets in #13 get eaten
17. Yell at yourself for crying when the petpets in #13 get eaten.
18. Accept all the donations people and pats on the head people give you after
19. Be amazed when the petpets in #13 DON’T get eaten.
20. Eat all the food at Merifood.
21. Throw up and get food poisoning like hottamale.
22. Do a quest for Illusen.
23. Get mad when Illusen doesn’t let you do anymore quests for her.
24. Start bowing at Illusen’s feet while asking for quests.
25. Give Illusen 25k to be able to do a quest.
26. Go do another quest for Illusen, you earned it.
27. Ask the Scorchio at Turdle Racing if he’s related to the Scorchio in the
28. In the middle of the race jump into the track and demand that Turdles have
rights too and should not have to race.
29. Picket with all your friends in front of the stadium.
30. If your Turdle wins jump onto the track and hug it.
31. If your Turdle doesn’t wins jump onto the track and hug it.
32. Try and figure out why the slowest petpets are racing.
33. Purposely miss at Ultimate Bullseye, if you get what I mean.
34. Put an apple on your head and ask people to shoot it off.
35. Go to the hospital and get the arrow removed from your forehead.
36. Bring in a square table to Round Table Poker and say you like squares better.
37. Keep going up to the table, but never sign up for a Round Table Poker tournament.
38. Try and figure out what cheese is for sale at Cheese Roller. When you do,
buy all it available and eat it.
39. Bring square cheese in and ask to roll it down the hill.
40. Count Potatoes until you can’t keep your numbers straight or your eyes
41. Have a conversation with the Extreme Potato Counter that involves you saying
dude every other word.
42. When you’re at the Extreme Potato Counter instead of counting the potatoes
run after them shouting, “I’m gonna get you! I’m gonna get you!”
43. Whenever you get dung at Pick Your Own point to a random person and say,
“The bathrooms are thatta way.”
44. Eat every berry you pick, and then pick another basket full, then another,
and another, and another...
45. Steal piles of dung from people’s baskets, and tell them it’s for your
46. Swim in the Rubbish Dump.
47. Tell the Wocky it’s rude to guess other people’s weight.
48. Try and steal the Marrow. When asked why you did it say, “She was being
49. Say the most random words you can think of to King Skarl as a joke. When
he says he hates it yell, “What do you mean that was the best joke I ever wrote!”
Also start crying for good measure.
50. Say the most random words you can think of to King Skarl as a joke. When
he says he thought it was pretty good yell, “What do you mean that stunk! I’m
leaving you wouldn’t see someone has with no talent if they bit you on the nose!”
Then stomp angrily away.
51. Have cheat cards that have a joke.
52. Try and play Invasion of Meridell and Escape from Meridell at the same
time. It doesn’t work but it’s still fun.
53. Whack Meriballs at the Double or Nothing Skeith. That’ll teach him to give
54. Buy potions at Kayla’s potion shop without reading the labels and drink
them. Then come show me what happened, I’m curious.
56. Have people go on a quest to find #55.
57. Run through the streets screaming, “Brightvale is attacking!”
58. Run through the streets yelling, “Darigan is attacking!”
55. Try and figure out how 55 ended up down here.
59. Have an ‘I love Lord Darigan’ T-shirt on and walk through the streets whistling.
60. Run from a mob of Mortogs, Turmaculus, Sinsi, the Turdle Race Scorchio,
Turdles, Illusen, the Techo Cheese Roller, King Skarl, the Extreme Potato Counter
Wocky, the people who were at Pick Your Own, and everyone else in Meridell.
Well there you go, things to do in Meridell. I hope you have a great time making
a fool of yourself. Well bye I feel another round of throw up coming on.