Where there's a Weewoo, there's a way Circulation: 102,975,150 Issue: 203 | 12th day of Hiding, Y7
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25 Things to Do with an Unwanted Plushie Gallery


by puppy200010

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Ok, so you've just upgraded your gallery and added five new plushies to your collection. You should feel proud of yourself! But instead you've come to another realization: You don't want to collect plushies anymore! In fact, you never want to see another button, piece of stuffing, or soft likeness of anything ever again! So what do you do? You could upgrade your shop another twenty sizes and sell them off all at once, or you could just pick something off this convenient list!

Before I, Pangra2000, present this list, I would like to give a warning. Don't attempt some of these at home. Attempt them at someone else's home!

1. Save them for the next gift-giving holiday. Give them for birthday presents, for Christmas, and for the day that has been cancelled due to lack of interest! What? That's not a gift-giving holiday? Oh well, give them anyway! Send them to your friends until it annoys them and they start pelting you with them! And if they do, continue on to the next item on this list!

2. Have a plushie war with your neofriends because they started pelting you with the toys you graciously gave them.

3. Attempt to bribe the chia police officer after accidentally throwing a lone shoe through a window, thinking it was a plushie (and therefore great ammo for the plushie war). Besides, who throws a shoe away? Honestly!

4. Play a game of plushie variation of Whack-a-Kass. Just grab something hard and long (French bread works great!) and whack away! Not only will it relive some of your hate towards the plushies, but in the process, it could also destroy some of them! (Not to mention that it could solve another problem if you're playing in your backyard and dislike your neighbors.) Note: Remember to clean up any remnants of the plushies that may litter the ground, since the police are already keeping a close eye on you.

5. Become a surgeon and perform plastic (or rather, cloth,) surgery. Have you ever wondered what an usul plushie would look like with kougra paws and a uni horn? Find out! (Then you can sell them as “genuine and original” Deserted Fairground plushies!) Just, err, don't let your owner know if you break their sewing machine. Not that that's ever happened! *Pangra2000 looks at puppy200010 innocently*

6. Destroy them in your room because your owner's grounded you upon the discovery of her broken sewing machine. Man, what kind of day is this? First getting yelled at by the police, now grounded! And besides, the shoe thing was NOT my fault! It’s their fault! *points to innocent neofriends*

7. Donate a bunch to the Money Tree and feel good about helping Neopia’s less fortunate.

8. Stand by the Money Tree and laugh at everyone who attempts to take your plushies but is too slow to get them. (This step won't help you get rid of the plushies but is quite amusing.)

9. Give one to the baby poogle who starts crying not only because you are laughing at her, but also because she’s just missed grabbing one of your donated plushies.

10. Go through your neohome and restuff all the pillows in the house. Note: Remember to sew them all shut again. (By hand this time, if your owner's sewing machine is, ahem, broken.) Another note: This may cause all your pillows to become very lumpy.

11. Stuff them into your ears when your bratty little, silver poogle, can't-be-quiet-for-a-minute sister starts singing incredibly annoying, high-pitched, off-key songs at the breakfast table. (But remember to throw them out afterward, since they may have earwax on them. Eww!) Note: Your bratty little sister may also use this tactic when you're trying to yell at her for sneaking into your room and adding gibberish to this list.

12. Xgc12&#!B7@?aYz!^94hkd$3290fd$#20g05%%^#@!

13. Hire a skeith or grarrl to eat them for you. Okay, so that's not very original, but all that gibberish in #12 has made me lose my train of thought.

14. Bang them against the wall because you still haven't remembered what it was that you were going to add to this list.

15. Take them to neoschool with you and sit them out to be confiscated when your teacher catches you daydreaming and not paying attention. (It's all Pooglia2001's fault!)

16. Plant them in your neogarden to see if they'll grow a plushie tree and HOPE that they don't! (Who needs more plushies, anyway?) Note: Make sure to wash and put back any of your owner's gardening tools you've used, since, if you're like me, you're still grounded about a certain sewing machine incident and are not supposed to be sneaking around outside and to the Money Tree.

17. Quietly explain to your owner why you were outside, using her gardening tools, and digging around in the flowerbed. Ask her if she'd like some plushies.

18. Give your warf or puppyblew a new chew toy! Or any petpet, really! I'm not sure how much your pet rock would enjoy it, but try it anyway!

19. Continue to get yelled at by your owner because she's getting more "fed up with your behavior" as you go along this list. (Continue to clean up the mess the petpets made of the toys, too.)

20. Give the Discarded Magical Blue Grundo Plushie of Prosperity in Faerieland some friends.

21. Go and pester your own neofriends because you're having a hard time thinking of any more ways to add to this list that would make your seemingly endless supply of plushies disappear.

22. Leave them in your inventory, with hopes of Sloth sludgifying them or the Pant Devil stealing them.

23. Go to a Gallery of Evil convention with them and watch the pandemonium as the convention is infected with cuteness.

24. Send them all to the Fire Faerie in hopes that she'll raise your strength in return. (But make sure to watch out if this sudden surplus of plushies annoys her. Being set on fire is not a great experience.)

25. Realize that not all these methods work and that you had better start playing some games for the cost of shop upgrades. When you're not grounded, of course. By the way, would you like to buy some plushies?

 
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