Now with 50% more useless text Circulation: 102,975,150 Issue: 203 | 12th day of Hiding, Y7
Home | Archives Articles | Editorial | Short Stories | Comics | New Series | Continued Series

Trouble in Faerieland?

by buttafromdaghetto


FAERIELAND - Floating in the clouds miles above Neopia is Faerieland. It is home to Fyora, the Faerie Queen, the Fountain Faerie, and the five elemental uber Faeries. Faerieland is also the location of Neopia's one and only Employment Agency, the Healing Springs and the Hidden Tower. Faerieland was once one of the most popular places in the whole of Neopia. It seems, however, that Neopians have become disillusioned and disgruntled with Faerieland and its winged inhabitants. In days gone by the citizens of Neopia could always turn to the Faeries for help and protection. The Faeries were much beloved by Neopians far and wide. Pets and owners were eager to complete quests in order to please the Faeries and there were festivals to celebrate them in all their splendor and glory.

However, in present day Neopia unemployment rates have skyrocketed and Faerie Queen and Fountain Faerie quests are unbelievably rare (at best). More pets and owners have been turning to the Mad Scientist to boost stats and gain color changes. It is rumored that Neopians plan to hold a grand festival in the Mad Scientist's honor!

It has been said that the Faeries have just become complacent, while others believe that they have lost their love for Neopians. What are we to believe? The Employment Agency is not offering new job coupons, the cost to purchase job coupons is completely unreasonable and basic jobs are at a premium. Fyora and the Fountain Faerie have become recluses. Players report having played Neopets for up to 4 years without ever getting a Faerie Queen or Fountain Faerie quest. Faerieland has become stagnant and Neopians are unhappy about it.

There are a few Neopian citizens who aren't fussed by this. Sydney from the Haunted Fairgrounds thinks that this is a good sign. Yesterday he was quoted saying, "The less there is going on up there, the more happens around here. It has made business in the Haunted Woods boom. It's much easier to get up to no good if you don't have those blasted Faeries buzzing around." Edna the witch just gave us a snaggletoothed smile and cackled when we asked for her opinion.

We were granted an interview with the gracious and wise King Hagan, who is appalled at the Faeries' behavior. This is what he had to say: "When you are entrusted to look after people, you should put their welfare before everything else, including your own wants and needs. Neopians need the Faeries and look to them in times of trouble. It is heartbreaking to see how lax they have become. However, I don't think that it's too late. If they were to show the people that they do care and that they are still there for them, I'm sure they could regain the love and respect of Neopia."

We spoke with both the Island Mystic and the Haiku Kougra. The Island Mystic seems to think that clawmatoes and dancing with a felf in a bowl of jelly may be the answer to all our problems. The Haiku Kougra gave us what appeared to be a neutral response:

"Rising sun

eats falling flower


Well, at least we think that it was a neutral answer.

We were also able to speak with Kauvara. This is what the magical heifer had to say: "Magic is the cohesive element that binds and animates Neopia. If the Faeries fail, I fear that we shall all in time fail." It was quite disheartening to see how dismal the mood in her shop has become.

The Kiosk Wocky is very angry with the Faeries and says, "Living in the clouds has gone to their heads! I've written letter after letter to Fyora and the Fountain Faerie regarding my concerns. I haven't heard back from either one. I tell you if I get one more of my letters returned unopened, I'm gonna take a snowcone and........" The rest of this conversation has been edited. We think the Kiosk Wocky may need a nice cup of chamomile tea and a short vacation to Mystery Island.

We would like to say that not all of Neopia's Faeries have turned their backs on its citizens. The Space Faerie has been seen with increasing frequency; perhaps she is attempting to make up for the rest of the Faerie Sisterhood? With the help of a few magic potions and lots of luck, our best reporter was able to speak with Jhudora. She simply waved her hand and cackled, but nothing happened. Of course, we really didn’t expect anything more from her. While her behavior was not surprising, our reporter was dumbfounded by the way he was treated by the Book Faerie and the Food Faerie. He reports that the Book Faerie shushed him and caused his pet's intelligence to decrease! The Food Faerie was kind enough not to harm our reporter's pet but she did throw a flaming pizza at him.

What has caused this hostile behavior in the normally pleasant and docile Faeries? We consulted licensed Faerie behaviorist, Dr. Pinkie Scorchio, to find our answers. The good doctor thinks that there could be two possible reasons. The first, and most likely, theory is that they are feeling an extreme amount of subconscious guilt that is causing them to display this passive aggressive behavior. The second possible theory is that there is some sort of pollution or contamination in the Faerie city that is having a negative effect on the Faeries. Dr. Scorchio has strongly suggested that the air and water in Faerieland be tested just to be on the safe side.

What will the outcome be? Will the Faeries fall completely out of favor? Will they leave us to look out for ourselves? Perhaps this is why the discarded blue grundo of prosperity wears such a forlorn expression. Does he know something that we don't?

In the meantime, look out for yourself and each other, stock up on magical protection and you may want to avoid the Kiosk Wocky for a while. She's really steamed.

Search the Neopian Times

Great stories!


Triss and the Psychiatrist
"So, to show her I didn't care what she thought, I stuck my nose up in the air, and realized what a great comeback that was! I'm now perfecting it so I can use it more often."

by o_apollo_o


EndingArrow: Part Eight
Frey KeenBlade strode forward from a back room, now framed in a doorway, a smile on her face. "Finally, you're here," she said...

by sara_mossflower


The Diary of a Meepit
What you suspected about Meepits, but were afraid to find out....

by catpower4ever


Move Along Now!
We cobbled together this mishmash of Neopian scenarios in which Movement would be helpful, justifications for Movement, possible reasons for the existence of Movement and also some kitchen sinks.

Also by jazz_invincible

by sunset_rose285

Submit your stories, articles, and comics using the new submission form.