Move Along Now!
Also by jazz_invincible
MYSTERY ISLAND – A Neopian well versed in all things Battledome may tell you
that movement is a useless statistic for your pet as far as helping them succeed
in their matches. Unless of course you have already trained your pet extensively
in the lost art of movement AND you’re the proud (and rich) owner of one or
more of the rare items that have a chance of doing something useful if you have
completed said training. In that case, you are now their new best Neofriend.
Besides that, though, the experienced Battledomer might concede that the time
and effort put into learning Movement was worthwhile. Otherwise, they’d most
likely tell you to spend your codestones and dubloons elsewhere.
Being somewhat knowledgeable about Battledome-related things, I tend to agree
with this line of reasoning. Yet a small part of me wonders why the Techo Master,
and Cap'n Threelegs by extension, has seen it fit to offer courses that build
this skill. On my latest jaunt to the Mystery Island Training School to pick
up Pebbles, who I can assure you was NOT training in Movement, I had her ask
the wise teacher that very question. It went a little something like this:
Pebbles: Why do you offer movement if it doesn’t help us fight in the
Techo Master: It is a pity I can train you not in Intelligence as well.
Life is not confined to inside the walls of the Stone Dome or even the Island
Arena, young Neopet!
Pebbles: *blank stare*
Techo Master: *sigh* One of those situations is now. If you were trained
in movement, you would be fast enough to dodge this! *knocks Pebbles on the
head with staff*
Following a quick visit to the kind Water Faerie at Healing Springs, Pebbles
and I headed home to Soup Alley to discuss what the Techo Master had said. After
about three minutes of that, I gave up and called over a good Neofriend and
his slightly smarter pet, Invinciblade, and we cobbled together this (*points
below for the benefit of Pebbles*) mishmash of Neopian scenarios in which Movement
would be helpful, justifications for Movement, possible reasons for the existence
of Movement and also some kitchen sinks.
• It tends to help you escape when faced against the Space Faerie and she's
just unleashed her SPACE BUGS!!
• Flying Kaus are always a menace, and you need to be quick if you’re going
to be able to successfully dodge them!
• Perhaps the Techo Master needs a supply of increasingly faster Neopets. Part
of HIS training as an elite master could be that he uses codestones to throw
as target practice to better develop his aim. But as his aim improves, he needs
faster targets.. and what better target than the very thing that comes to him
daily, giving him his ammunition? So really, Movement could just be a selfish
and complex plot hatched by the Techo Master. Why else would a floating Nimmo
who’s obsessed with weird rocks want fast pets? Think about it.
• The Air Faerie needed something to reward Neopets with for completing her
quests. Otherwise, they’d just point and laugh when she asked for a Dark Red
Lipstick and she’d have to go without and well, that’s just not a pretty situation
• You’re on a lovely stroll in Neopia Central when you spot a rather fetching
Von Kougra Plushie at the Money Tree. You’ll need to move extra quick if you
expect to grab it AND run away without being trampled by a stampede of screaming
• The Faerieland Employment Agency is tailor-made for the fast Neopet. You
have to snag a job off the notice board in the first place, and then you still
have to run around to different stores to complete the job and THEN get back
to Faerieland with the requested items in tow as quickly as possible to maximize
your bonus. Not the place to be only moving at mach 1.
• Buying a highly desired item from a main Neopian store requires lightning
speed. You have to make sure you’re in the store at the proper time, grab the
item you want, take it to the shopkeeper and have the proper amount of Neopoints
ready to give the proprietor. Oh, did I mention all of this must be done in
less than 6 seconds to have a chance of getting the item before someone else
who is much faster snatches it from you? Thyoras Tear is SOLD OUT! Tsk, slowpoke.
• Even statistics are pretty. They may not do anything, but as the Techo Master
says, “You must learn the way of balance, my son.” So balance those stats! Possibly
while perched on a small pedestal carrying fragile plates, but that’s your choice.
• The Lab Ray scientist got bored with only four statistics to give to and
take away from Neopets when they visited his ray. So he invented the concept
of Movement points so he could add another variable into his fiendishly complex
machine. He was quite pleased with the result; laboratory regulars are a different
• Speed and stealth are essential when visiting the Snowager while he is sleeping.
If you’re going to successfully scarper away clutching that Negg without being
blasted by the giant ice worm you just woke up, you might want to do so rapidly.
• You must be swift if you’re going to out-run the hordes of whatever angry/glow-in-the-dark/ravenous/giggly
Neopets the Island Mystic has predicted will assault you that particular day.
• I pity the Neopet that isn’t fast enough to complete a quest for Taelia,
Jhudora, the Underwater Chef, Edna, Illusen, the Esophagor or the Brain Tree
on time, because they certainly won’t be speedy enough to avoid the wrath of
their quester when they do make it back.
• While you may assume that the Slug Monster that’s guarding the ruins of Maraqua
could only move as quickly as, well a slug, you’d be surprised how fast this
guy can slide. I don’t suggest sticking around long enough to record just how
quickly he can move, though, seeing as how he’s usually rather upset you’re
near him at all.
• While Movement won’t really help you win your match in the Battledome, it
sure should help you run far, far away when the Giant Ghostkerchief is coming
at you with his Ghostkersword and is about to chuck a Ghostkerbomb at you. I
wouldn’t want to be anywhere near that kind of battle, unless I had my Shovel
Plus and Double Dryer. But that’s another story.
• The famous Neopets had to be given an advantage over their adoring/stalking
public. A hero like Jeran or Hannah needs to be able to get away from their
fans, and since they don’t have Queen Fyora-like teleportation powers, running
fast is their only option. And of course that speed had nothing to do with why
they’re heroes in the first place. Nope.
As you can see, there are quite a few situations where movement could be handy,
and potential reasons why Movement exists. I guess they don’t call that goofy
Techo ‘Master’ for nothing. Oh and I apologize for the lack of promised kitchen
sinks, but the Meepits are to blame for that and I promised, under duress, that
I wouldn’t say how. *cough*
Disclaimer: The authors of this article (that is to say, myself and
Jazz) do not actually recommend that everyone should run to the Techo Master
or to Cap’n Threelegs and demand to pay exorbitant fees to achieve extraordinarily
high movement statistics. However, we do recommend completing Air Faerie quests.
Even though the reward may not be all that great, we would hate to see the fury
she could produce if not given her grooming supplies in a timely fashion. She
might even enlist the services of her sister Taelia! But that would be an entirely
different story. ;)