TROTRODS - What does it mean?
While recently looking at the Coming Soon section of the site, I noticed that
something rather intriguing is coming to Neopia. The square I’m talking about
contains a more than flattering picture of Dr. Frank Sloth, ‘TROTRODS’, and text
labeling it as an upcoming flash game. With the infinite amount of free time (due
to not having a life) I decided to ponder the Great Mystery. When that got boring,
I directed my thoughts to the matter I’m writing about now.
One thought that briefly entered my head was the Neopian version of hot rods.
Speeding down a raceway, the game would be a faster, less destructive version
of Bumper Cars. Three points, however, shot this idea down like petpets out
of a cannon. 1) Every single letter in that word is capitalized, which usually
indicates a type of abbreviation. 2) The entire thing is one word, as opposed
to the game being called ‘TROT RODS’. 3) There’s a poster of Sloth for crying
out loud! If he made a type of hot rod for innocent Neopians, you can bet they’d
self-destruct or blast them to Kreludor or something like that.
So it’s most likely an abbreviation. What could it stand for? It’s pretty
likely that the first T stands for ‘The’. Referring back to that picture, I
think the ODS at the end stands for ‘Of Doctor Sloth’. The main part of this
article will be devoted to three possibilities of the middle four letters ROTR.
I don’t think the last R stands for Revenge because Sloth has tried that approach
way too many times. ;)
The Reeking Old Terrible Rubbish Of Doctor Sloth
Now, this probably sounds completely random. Yes, it is, but still let me explain
the idea behind it. You know things like underwater fishing and Tombola that
can give you annoyingly random (or amazingly good) objects? In these, you never
get to do anything but press a little button! This flash game works the same,
but differently. (Or depending on the amount of water in your cup, it works
differently but the same!) Anyway, you get to guide your Neopet through a disgusting
pile of Sloth’s own radioactive dump! Beware malfunctioning lasers and broken
plot ideas and you could walk away with a powerful new Battledome item. Or you
could walk into a toxic pit! It takes luck and chance games to a whole new level
of action and adventure!
Here’s the reason why it’s probably not going to happen: I personally don’t
visit the Rubbish Dump in Meri Acres Farm, and wouldn’t want to take a chance
in Sloth’s version of it. I’m fairly confident that other Neopians feel the
same way that I do about the idea. I also wouldn’t risk my Neopets’ sanity just
to walk away with Sloth’s really old baby slippers. If the place actually does
exist, and isn’t off limits, it really, really should be.
The Rapidly Obliterating Time Robot Of Doctor Sloth
This sounds a lot more like the madman doctor that we all love to hate. In
this scenario, Sloth has become very angry about the amount of times his plans
were foiled. So what does he do? He creates a super-speedy, dangerously-destructive,
time-traveling, rockin’ robot to foil the plans of the Neopians who foiled his
plans. You must take control of a Grundo and her faithful robot snowickle. With
this petpet’s time-tracking device, you must follow Sloth’s robot (affectionately
called ‘Captain Booger’) through every plot featuring the insane doctor. You’ll
journey from the scorching sands of the Lost Desert to the deepest, darkest
lair of Sloth. But you won’t get to go to Kreludor. He never had a plot there.
This really seems like something that Sloth would be likely to do, doesn’t
it? The problem is, the Doctor already has a robot: the S750 Kreludan Defender
Robot. This one’s doing his job pretty well, so there’s no reason for Sloth
to spend so much time playing 200m Peanut Dash trying to earn Neopoints to build
another one. Finding all the materials and appropriate research probably runs
in the 1,000,000,000,000’s - and that’s without the cheap labor of unemployed
Grundos who need to make a living. For these reasons, I just can’t see Sloth
making another robot anytime in the near future.
The Really Overdue Tacky Retirement Of Doctor Sloth
Advertising gimmicks, covert mining operations, world domination, every time
he tried one, it failed. Now, he’s finally gotten sick of it. That’s right,
you get to finally take control of the lunatic himself and decide how he retires!
Do you want to find a nice mansion through Roo Island Properties? Perhaps you’d
like to reminisce with hired bounty hunters on Kreludor’s Retirement Castle?
Or maybe sunny Tyrannia would be the ideal place to work on that tan? Whatever
you do, make sure it’s one of last things Neopians would expect you to do! You’re
retired! You don’t need to worry about imposing on their innocent lives anymore!
Just sit back, relax, and rock back and forth on your rocking chair, telling
baby Neopians stories as they sit on your knees.
Do I really need to shoot this one down myself? Sloth will never retire; it’s
just not in his nature. He’ll be plotting out plots for the rest of his days.
(Many of which will probably be even more random than what I’m writing about
here.) Even if he wanted to retire, the staff’s too smart to let this bag of
tricks leave that easily.
I hate to leave you with these parting words, but they’re the truth: TROTRODS
could stand for just about anything. (Most of these possibilities, like mine,
don’t make much sense.) For all we know, it’s just there to make paranoid people
like myself wonder their brains out. On the other hand, we can never be quite
sure exactly what Doctor Sloth is up to. Keep on watching that Coming Soon page
because one day TROTRODS will be the biggest thing on Neopets! But until then,
just play Bumper Cars.