Now with 50% more useless text Circulation: 194,077,254 Issue: 737 | 17th day of Relaxing, Y18
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We found the following 27 result(s) for the keyword theschizophrenicpunk

Week - 335

Attack of the Plushies
by theschizophrenicpunk
Description: The sound of fluttering wings echoed through the large room as Sailla froze in the middle of her game and sat there, afraid to look behind her to see what it was...

Week - 375

Slushie Snag
by theschizophrenicpunk
Description: Tintilla, Coarse, and Ember walked to the front door of the slushie shop. Ember was talking to Coarse while Tintilla yelled random nonsense.

Week - 697

Mystery Island Mayhem
by theschizophrenicpunk
Description: After searching through the lost city of Geraptiku for nearly three hours straight, dodging arrows and venomous petpets, Apsy was more than tired, especially since she and her brother Sky also had to baby-sit their friend Tintilla the Darigan Gelert and her pet Zomutt Nanna that day, for Tintilla was more than crazy – she was always hyper, and, no matter what Apsy or Sky said, Tintilla refused to listen.

Week - 698

Mission KatFL
by theschizophrenicpunk
Description: OPEN: KSSMO history files
OPEN: file no. 23-543-12, file name: mission records
OPEN: subfile no. 12, subfile name: closed missions
OPEN: mission name: KatFL, mission status: FAILED
VIEW: read-only, mission no. 355222
VIEW: subfile C: description of the failed mission KatFL, taken via dictation, ver batim, from those involved
BEGIN TRANSMISSION:

Week - 703

And Then There Was Silence: Part One
by theschizophrenicpunk
Description: "Though he couldn't turn from the light, the loss of his love broke him. His heart grew cold and he learned the arts of death. When he was encountered again, he had changed from a warm person into a ruthless assassin." -Unknown author, The Nameless Assassin, text found in the Rathbone Family Crypts, circa Y7

Week - 704

And Then There Was Silence: Part Two
by theschizophrenicpunk
Description: Apsy and Ember are completely lost. t's been at least an hour since the two left the burrows, and, though Apsy had managed to identify which direction was southwest using her natural affinity for recognising the position of Kreludor and its surrounding stars, the king must have either misdirected them or understated exactly how far away the crypts were.

Week - 705

And Then There Was Silence: Part One: Part Three
by theschizophrenicpunk
Description: inneus has been flying for a few miles now, constantly checking the ground below to make sure he isn't being pursued by that terrifying assassin. So far, the coast is clear, the assassin is nowhere to be found, and his ego has never been so huge.

Week - 706

And Then There Was Silence: Part Four
by theschizophrenicpunk
Description: Kanrik throws an empty bottle against the wall. It shatters into a rain of bluish glass that scatters across the ground. Finneus is afraid to look Kanrik in the face again. "What part of 'don't ever come back' do you not understand, Finneus?!"

Week - 707

And Then There Was Silence: Part Five
by theschizophrenicpunk
Description: Finneus hops carefully over the foggy waters of Bogshot Swamp, trying his best not to fall into the nasty, seemingly-gelatinous marsh. It's difficult, however, to maintain his balance when he's got tired, achy wings drooping behind him and his hands are full of treasures.

Week - 708

And Then There Was Silence: Part Six
by theschizophrenicpunk
Description: The assassin has been slowly stalking the Scorchio through the bustling streets of Market Town, hiding in and watching from the shadows as the thief talks to every shady merchant he finds, desperate to find a buyer for the stolen goods.

Week - 709

And Then There Was Silence: Part Seven
by theschizophrenicpunk
Description: The sun is only just beginning to set, but the rocky cliffs that surround the town of Cogham like silent sentinels cast shadows so fierce upon the land they shelter that, within their ring of protection, it is dark enough to look like dusk. A few Vullards circle the mountains from overhead, as if anticipating a catastrophe to happen in the valley below. If everything goes correctly, they may not be wrong…

Week - 710

Celebrity Fashion Trade: Villain Edition
by theschizophrenicpunk
Description: Things get interesting when Kanrik, the Werelupe King and the Gelert Assassin trade outfits!

Week - 712

Simeon's Song: Part One
by theschizophrenicpunk
Description: Ember is standing in the threshold to her kids' peaceful Market Town home, panting and sweating after a frantic run all the way from Werelupe Woods. She's taken a wide stance, as if preparing for a fight, holding a carved bone dagger she doesn't quite know how to use in one hand and half-eaten peachpa in the other. In her panicked rush, she had thrown open the heavy door, sending it slamming against the wall.

Week - 713

Simeon's Song: Part Two
by theschizophrenicpunk
Description: The terror-filled tension that hangs in the air seems to make the sun disappear and force the trees to lean in, smothering. The Gelert Assassin rotates his sword's hilt in his hand agitatedly – threateningly – but Ember still tries her best to remain calm. She doesn't look away from his shadowed honeycomb eyes.

Week - 714

Carrot Cake
by theschizophrenicpunk
Description: "Ugh, Emmy, I'm not sure if I can pull this off..." The Maraquan Carma doesn't say anything. It's an hour until dawn in the camp of the Ixi Raiders of Cogham, and Mer is about to lose his mind. That is, if he hasn't completely lost it already.

Week - 716

Sir Tormund Ellis: A Documentary: Part One
by theschizophrenicpunk
Description: hank you for tuning in to this TruNeo® historical documentary! TruNeo® — where the stories are Tru, and the Neo is YOU!™

The following is a compilation of interviews conducted by several of our TruNeo® team members which took place from 21.7.Y8 through 13.3.Y9. The individuals interviewed for this documentary have expressed knowledge or concern on our documentary's subject, Sir Tormund Ellis, on a personal basis.


Week - 717

Sir Tormund Ellis: A Documentary: Part Two
by theschizophrenicpunk
Description: I trained officially with my sword before him, and I got sent into those disgusting sewers before him, and I woke up at the crack of dawn before him, and I think I might have even been Master Torak's favourite before him — I swear. But, you know, the day he came in, there was this... aura around him, like he was constantly surrounded by light motes.

Week - 718

Sir Tormund Ellis: A Documentary: Part Three
by theschizophrenicpunk
Description: Tor was the first person I saw after I had fallen from Faerieland, and I'm honestly really glad about that. Partly because a huge part of me was worried that everyone else in the kingdom had been possessed the way my mentor Seradar was, but also because, honestly, I don't know how I would have survived that first monster attack without his help.

Week - 719

Sir Tormund Ellis: A Documentary: Part Four
by theschizophrenicpunk
Description: Disrespectful. That's what it is. Disrespectful! Not even those stupid, smelly Werelupes get up in my swamp like that, 'less I tell ol' kingy and his little servants to fetch me some ingredients. No, they stay away, because they know I don't deal with their nonsense, and the king has learned by now not to send anybody my way, 'less he wants more of his so-called "warriors" turned into Blechies.

Week - 720

Sir Tormund Ellis: A Documentary: Part Five
by theschizophrenicpunk
Description: ll of us had been captured — every last one! Those Ixis went mad from those clouds, I tell you. Absolutely mad. They stormed the town, and they kidnapped us all, and they held us all prisoner in the volcanic region beneath the cliffs. We were doomed! What? Well... well, yes, the heroes did save us... But it took forever!

Week - 722

Acquaintances
by theschizophrenicpunk
Description: Brightvale castle is almost always silent, especially once the moon rises. Early to bed and early to rise makes Neopets, uh... something, something, and wise. Roberta's heard her uncle recite that proverb a million times over, but she always forgets how it ends.

Week - 732

Annoying Kanrik
by theschizophrenicpunk
Description: I think a better question would be "Why are there so many?"

Week - 733

Clouds Over Cogham: Part One
by theschizophrenicpunk
Description: Mer’s frantic pleading is swallowed by the lava along with the rocks that still fall from the ceiling. The heat from the volcano dries his tears to his cheeks, yet still isn’t warm enough to soothe the tenseness in his aching arms. His eyes are sore from the saltstains and heatwaves. His breathing is shallow and plagued with ash.

Week - 734

Clouds Over Cogham: Part Two
by theschizophrenicpunk
Description: A hum of contemplation. A foot tapping anxiously on cold marble floors. “Mm... No, no, but...” The humming continues. “Well, do you know of a town called... Cogham?”

Week - 735

Clouds Over Cogham: Part Three
by theschizophrenicpunk
Description: Nobody wants to look towards the sound, but everyone feels drawn to it. Nobody wants to see what they fear is there, but they need to know for certain — know whether or not they need to hide. They whip their heads around desperately, praying that the sound isn’t the sonic manifestation of their worst fears being realised, but their hopes are not heard above the din of retribution.

Week - 736

Clouds Over Cogham: Part Four
by theschizophrenicpunk
Description: Squire Tormund redirects his disdainful glare to the old Lupe knight who has just appeared beside him, though the fury is obviously misplaced. For a few seconds before responding, he looks back down the castle hallway towards the dining room where the lazy Sir Harlag sits feasting, and the squire gives a frustrated grunt.

Week - 737

Clouds Over Cogham: Part Five
by theschizophrenicpunk
Description: Maybe if the village wasn’t so consumed in smoke, and he wasn’t choking on the taste of cruel fire magic, and the screaming wasn’t so loud that he can barely hear his own thoughts, he could charge in valiantly like a storybook hero.

 
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Great stories!


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A Pair of Punished Pranksters
The moon was full, and the sky was plagued by ominous shadows. Two Darigan Neopets, a Scorchio and an Aisha, snuck onto the property, spray paint in hand. "I can't believe that Ella beat us in the Beauty Contest," grumbled the Scorchio. "We'll show her!"

by _brainchild_

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Unlikely Friends
Royce the Elderly Bruce had spent the first half of his life carrying a sack of mail from one Neohome to another and delivering messages. His assigned locality had been in the suburbs of Neopian Central, and he’d known the area like the back of his right flipper. Each day he’d trudged down the same streets, waved hello to the same group of gossiping Unis trotting down Usuki Avenue, and made his way past a half-dozen Lupes out by their decks. That was all a lifetime ago, before Royce had been swept up in the glamorous world of petpet shows.

by sunbathr

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Trophies For The Cursed!
Turn your horrible luck into a trophy!! In this world where bad luck is good luck I was lucky (unlucky) enough to be a Champion. A Champion at losing. HMMM. One good thing I can say is that losing badly enough comes with a big trophy.

by sanford3581

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Are You an Altador Cup Fanatic?
To make matters worse, many fans are in complete denial about being obsessed with the Cup--you could be addicted and not even know it. So how can you tell if you are one of these crazed fans? Well, in honor of the 11th annual Altador Cup, we’re here to help you recognize if you are truly an Altador Cup fanatic.

Also by drobit

by bha288


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Sunny Side Up: Team Spirit
The AC commentators have surprisingly poor observational skills.

Also by parody_ham

by amarettoball




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