The Ill-Starred Blumaroo: Part One

by scriptfox

A thump resounded through the office as my forehoof took another chip out of my desk in utter frustration. I glared at the blue Quiggle toy setting in the middle of my desk. It stared back at me with its googly black and white plastic eyes, totally unaffected by the sheer hatred radiating into it. By rights, it should have been five hundred Neopoints by now- but it wasn't, which was the whole problem. My owner had paid good money to get me the levels and blessings needed to obtain alchemical abilities. I'd gotten them, but the only time I'd ever been able to make them work was in the battle arena. Something about fighting for my life enabled the adrenaline rush to get past my mental blocks. I'd never been able to duplicate it outside. This was no good, for two reasons. One, the only items you could turn into points in the arena were battle items... not good candidates for it, really. And two, when you're fighting for your life- or at least a whole skin- wealth creation just doesn't come very high on your list of priorities.

I sighed, rested my chin on my hooves and stared through the glass door of my office. I'd had some free time this morning- business was slow in the Private Investigation game- and as usual had gone back to trying to exercise my King Midas touch. The only thing to turn gold around here, though, was me, and that had been a paintbrush, not alchemy.....

My wandering thoughts snapped to attention as a shape showed through the door's glass, opened it and came in. It was a human owner, and she was about medium height and size. I suppose her figure was nice, too, but humans aren't my taste. "Excuse me," she ventured in a timid tone, "I'm looking for Monokeras."

"That's me, ma'am. What's your trouble?"

"You? Oh! I see now! But of course you're a Uni! Mono is one, and keras means horn, doesn't it."

I repressed a frown. I hated it when clients showed off by figuring that out. It ruined one of my best lines. I consoled myself with the usual thought that at least she had some brains under that ditzy blond hair and blue eyes. "Yes, it does. My owner thought it appropriate. What were you needing?"

Her eyes teared and she lightly dabbed at one as she replied, "oh, it's my poor dear Schnitzel. You just have to help him! He's gone missing, you see."

"Missing NeoPet. Five hundred Neopoints down, one hundred fifty Neopoints an hour, plus expenses."

She blinked. "Oh. You don't seem surprised."

"I'm not. Missing pets are one of my major sources of income, Miss....?"

She took the hint. "Argent. Dot Argent. And I must say, you seem professional."

I nodded politely, once, and said, "Thank you. So, do you want to hire me?"

"Yes, I- oh, yes, of course." She blinked and then fumbled in her purse before producing a checkbook and making out the payment for the initial fee.

I slipped the check into my desk and then sat back. "So, tell me exactly what happened."

"Oh, but first you just have to see these!" Dot pulled out a sheaf of pictures from her purse and handed them to me. The glow in her face was the unmistakable pride and fondness of an owner who is more a mother than owner.

I looked through the photographs. "Nice. A starry Blumaroo. You must've liked the combination to spend the money on the brush."

She nodded enthusiastically. "He looks so pretty! I couldn't resist it!" Then her expression clouded. "I hope no one else finds him pretty now and decides to take him."

"I doubt it," I said as soothingly as I could. "He should be safe for a little while- but tell me the story and we'll get him home that much sooner."

The story didn't take long to tell. She had put him to bed the night before, as usual, and then come back in the morning to find him gone, with only a note left. She showed me the note. It simply read, "Gone to see the world. Good-bye, Schnitzel" No, she hadn't had any arguments with him. No, he hadn't seemed unhappy. No, not unusually restless, though he was young and active enough. No, she hadn't noticed any money or other valuables missing. She had one other pet, a Kau that she had recently adopted from the pound. Recently being yesterday, in fact.

Having found out about all I could on a first run-through, I next suggested going to her home and looking the territory over. She instantly agreed and before long we were standing outside her rather small house. "Is that the window to his bedroom?" I asked, pointing to an open one.

"Yes, it is," she sniffled. She even managed to sniffle and dab her eyes without messing up the flawlessly applied makeup. I hate people that do that. She showed me into the house and into the room. Then she apologized as I gagged. "I'm sorry, Monokeras, but he is a Blumaroo, and they do smell. I tried to keep it under control with antiseptic, though."

I didn't bother telling her the antiseptic was gagging me worse than the relatively faint smell of Blumaroo. "That's quite all right. So, the note was on the bed, here, and then the window was open...." I leaned out and looked down at the ground. Hard-packed earth, and we hadn't had a decent rain in over a month. Forget tracking him that way. A quick look-through of the room didn't reveal much. I didn't want to give it a thorough search with Dot staring over my shoulder. Besides, I doubted there was much to find. "What about your other pet, Miss Argent? The Kau?"

"Oh, yes, Korrell. What about him?"

"Is he here? I'd like to talk with him."

"But of course." She went out into the hall, "Korrell! Come here, the detective wants to talk to you!"

Korrell came in. He had that solid square look of the typical Kau, along with the placid eyes and expression that made too many owners and other pets think Kaus were stupid. I didn't buy it- I knew better. "Yes sir?" he said.

"Korrell, what were your impressions of Schnitzel? Did he ever confide in you in the brief time you knew him?"

Korrell shook his head. "I didn't even see him, mister. Mistress told me all about him, but we got here last night kind of late and I went straight to my room and bed."

"I see. Dot, could I trouble you to get me a drink? That walk got me thirsty."

"Of course!" Dot left on the errand. I wondered briefly if she recognized the transparent excuse and simply left out of courtesy for my desire to talk with Korrell alone.

"Korrell, did you hear anything last night? Anything at all?"

"Not much. I heard Mistress and Schnitzel talking, but I didn't make out what they said."

"Were they arguing?"

"No, just ordinary talk."

"Calm, not excited in any way."

"Yeah."

"What time did they quit for the night?"

"Umm... a little before ten, I think. I went to sleep about then, sorry."

"Oh, that's all right- ahh, thank you, Dot, I appreciate it." I took the drink from Dot and gulped it down thirstily. I really had been thirstier than I realised. That's what you get for telling stories, I guess- they tend to come true.

"So, what time did you find Schnitzel gone this morning?"

"About seven thirty," Dot replied.

"Mistress was upset something awful," Korrell chimed in with his deep voice. "She cried lots before she left to get you."

"I see. Well, I think that's all I can do here. Now the rest of it is just a standard search."

"You're leaving already?"

"Of course. The sooner I start hunting, the sooner you get Schnitzel back."

"Yes! Oh, good. Oh, and, ah, Mr. Monokeras?"

"Yes?"

"Do you think I should put out copies of those pictures on posters to get others to hunt?"

I nodded. "Good idea. No use letting them go to waste, and it may do some good."

She smiled at the compliment and I eased myself out as soon as possible. I only had the whole of Neopia to worry about. A rather sheltered Blumaroo, out exploring "the world" with no destination, was fair play for more dangers than I liked to consider in cold blood.

***

I ran up my expense account with Dot by catching the Neotube heading south, before another long hike brought me to the Haunted Woods. It was midday, the best time to see them if you wanted to come out whole and sane. I approached one of the biggest trees right in the middle of the woods. It had huge bulging folds of deceptively soft looking gray material covering the center of its branches. It was the Brain Tree, a well-known sage, source of information- and the end of too many lost pet trails for my taste. I had followed a sure track to its roots several times with no trace of where they went. I suspected those roots kept it fed on other than just normal soil nutrients, but it had been careful to leave no bones so I'd never proved anything. I didn't see anything now, either.

"Brain Tree!" I said in a loud voice. "I want to talk with you!"

Two huge red ovals opened up and its eyes stared down at me. A creaking sound signaled the opening of a mouth in its trunk as it grunted, "what?"

"I'm looking for a starry Blumaroo named Schnitzel. Do you know where he is at?"

"No."

"Has he come by here at all?"

"No."

"No starry Blumaroos at all?" I persisted.

"None in all the woods," was the short reply as the great eyes flipped back shut.

I let it go. Midday was the time when the Brain Tree slept and was the least active. Ditto for the rest of the woods. I glared around at a few trees as I left and they stood there trying to look innocent. That's pretty hard for a tree to do, but they tried anyway. I might've gotten more information from the Brain Tree, but it wasn't worth sticking around for. I knew that Schnitzel had apparently avoided one danger, which left too many more for this trail to end soon.

To be continued...