I know that everyone has noticed the many delays and
closures of the Trading Post in the past weeks. Always in the messages
the Neopian Staff attributes these to Trading Post Bugs. But what ARE
these insidious creatures that have infested the very FABRIC of one of
Mystery Island's most honored institutions? I, in a fit of frustration,
decided to find out!
First I went to the Island Mystic. After a game of Parcheesi
and a few cups of Tigersquash cappuccino he told me to go talk to the
Coconut People. "Knowledge they have of bugs. Good eating, they say."
So I reluctantly went to the Techo Safari station. I wasn't sure if I
could trust this particular Techo as far as I could throw him…but I knew
that if I got abandoned in the jungle I just had to holler really loud
and Shoygunn, my ever-faithful Shoyru, would swoop down and get me.
Well, for what he called a "reasonable fee" (I called
it highway robbery) Techo led me to the Coconut Peoples' secluded village.
We were greeted with loud chanting and the sounds of drums. The Techo
looked around nervously.
"Well Professor, hope you find what you're looking for!
I…think I hear my next tour group calling me!" he said, dashing off into
At this point I burst out in a cold sweat and started
praying for protection. Apparently, Pango Pango heard me. A group of chanting
Coconut People circled me, waving spears and just in general looking very
menacing. I stood my ground, and laid my offering of various fruits, candies
and one rare Golden Juppie before them. The Chief Coconut gave a loud
grunt and the chanting stopped.
"What you want small-head?" he asked, his voice echoing
eerily through his mask.
"The…that is…the Island Mystic told me to seek you out.
I want to know about the Trading Post Bugs," I said with a loud gulp.
Boy but these little guys were scary!
The Chief Coconut grunted. "Mystic man good. Trading
Bugs have camp by Marketplace. Bring Tigersquash Cappuccino and they talk."
I gave the Chief a low bow, thanked him and headed out
of there as fast as my legs could carry me! Shoygunn flew me out of the
jungle, and I made my way to the Mystery Island Marketplace, stopping
to buy several large Tigersquash Cappuccinos on the way.
"Heeere buggy buggy buggy…" I called as I circled the
perimeter of the Marketplace. "Heeere buggy buggy…I just want an interview…."
I heard high-pitched giggling from behind a bush. I turned
that direction, and put the drinks on the ground. Faster than you could
say "Miamouse" the cups were swarming with tiny Bugs! One of them, after
taking a deep sip, perched on a leaf, where I got a much better look at
Yes he had six legs, and yes he had little translucent
green wings. He was really kind of cute with his little beetle-shaped
body. Yet there was something strangely human in his face and eyes.
"So," he squeaked, "what can we do ya for?"
"Are you little guys the Trading Post Bugs?"
"Sure are! I'm the Boss Bug. Those little guys over there
are the Last Minute Bugs, and there's the bugs that allow people to have
there way with the games….oh and there in the back are System Glitches.
They're only our cousins but we let 'em hang out."
"So what is it that you guys do?"
"Well, we hang around the Trading Post. We watch what's
going on and sometimes we play little tricks. We exist purely to give
the NeoPets Programmers something to do! I mean, what fun is spending
your weekends hanging out with your friends when you could be with US?"
"But….what about the traders, and why do some of you
allow people to bend the rules?"
"Oh we don't really do that anymore…the programmers caught
the last of the Cheat Bugs and sent 'em back to Camp. But anyway the Cheat
Bugs had a thing for pink Juppies…and somebody figured it out. Simple
as that. As for the traders, hey we're letting you guys build up your
"You know we could just come down here and squash you
all flat for interfering with our lives, don't you?"
The Boss Bug just laughed at me. "OH you could try…but
we'd just come back. Dr. Sloth can always ma- oops I didn't say that."
"So Dr. Frank Sloth IS behind this! I never would have
suspected! Well I must be off, been nice talking to you, see you all later!"
I noticed that the Boss Bug and many of the others were
starting to glare at me menacingly and crawl towards me. Now I didn't
know if these little monsters could DO anything to me…but I sure wasn't
going to stick around to find out! Needless to say I picked up Wibba27,
Grundy_Bear, Shoygunn and KiKoS_cHiA from my shop and hopped the first
boat back to the mainland!
And now the whole world knows! The Trading Post Bugs
are yet another evil, insidious plot by Dr. Frank Sloth to take over NeoPets!
Gee won't that guy ever learn?