The Neo-Market Report

By stereolab

Hello and welcome to this week's installment of the Neo-Market Report. In addition to bringing you the latest from the floor, Neil Kauvuto and Maria Blumaroono will have a special report on the Chiatech Insider Trading scandal, and an interview with Alan Poogleton, Chiatech's Director of Operations. And now, here are Neil and Maria…

KAUVUTO: Hello and welcome to this week's Neo-Market Report. I am your host Neil Kauvuto, and as always I'm joined by Maria Blumaroono, who is at the News Desk with the latest news from the floor.

BLUMAROONO: Thank you Neil. The big story this week has been the discovery of Insider Trading within the market. In the wake of last week's Neodaq Crash, it has now been uncovered that prior to the Crash insider trading had artificially driven up the prices of a number of blue chip stocks, most notably Chiatech Password Security. Apparently, a number of Neopian Guilds had set up multiple accounts and collectively purchased massive amounts of stocks. Once this activity had driven the prices up, unaware speculators had jumped on the bandwagon and spent millions of neopoints riding what appeared to be a wave of prosperity. However, once the NSEC (Neopian Securities Exchange Commitee) learned of the Guilds' attempt to manipulate the Neodaq, corrective measures were taken and the perpetrators were left virtually penniless.

KAUVUTO: Unfortunately, this has also left innocent stockholders who were unaware of the Guilds' hoax equally devastated, a consequence which NSEC Chairman Arthur Lupevitt addressed in a recent statement where he acknowledged being "Acutely aware of the unfortunate losses incurred by innocent parties," and "apologiz[ing] for the damage this has caused to [their] financial status." However, he also asked that innocent stockholders hurt by Committee's action "understand that what we did was in the interest of upholding right and wrong, as well of a sense of fairness, on the floor of the Neodaq."

BLUMAROONO: Due to the important nature of the Insider Trading Scandal, Alien Aisha Vending Company CEO Sentron X has agreed to postpone his visit to The Neo-Market Report until next week so that we may bring you a special interview with Alan Poogleton, Chiatech's Director of Operations. Alan, we wish that we could've had you back under better circumstances…

ALAN: Well Maria, I understand that in life you've got to take the good with the bad, so I'm here to face the music.

BLUMAROONO: Now Alan, since the NSEC broke the story earlier this week, has Chiatech been able to determine the level of involvement, if any, of it's employees in the Insider Trading that resulted in this crash?

ALAN: To be honest Maria, I'd like to believe in my heart that none of the good folks at Chiatech would be involved in anything like this, and that it was solely the responsibility of the Guilds. But let's face it; I think it'd be awful hard to pull off a scam of this magnitude without some help on the inside. So to answer your question, no we have not determined the extent to which Chiatech employees were involved, but I'm keeping my fingers crossed that our people weren't a part of this.

KAUVUTO: However, in all fairness we should point out that a number of Chiatech employees, including yourself, profited greatly from Chiatech's skyrocketing value, only to turn around and sell your stock before the crash. Would you care to address that?

ALAN: Well, as I'm sure you know, I received a substantial interest in the company when I became Chiatech's Director of Operations. And, like many other Chiatech employees, once the price really began to take off I took the advice of my financial advisor and liquidated most of my Chiatech stock so that I could diversify my portfolio with investments such as mutual funds, bonds, and real estate. I think it would be ludicrous for someone to make the leap from following some sound financial advice to being the mastermind financial conspiracy.

BLUMAROONO: So do you see the relationship between the fact that you've made nearly eight million neopoints in the last three weeks and the Insider Trading Scandal as merely some sort of coincidence?

ALAN: Aw Maria, you're makin' me sound like a crook over here! Look, I'll admit that it's a strange set of circumstances which might look a little fishy on the surface, but I assure you that once the NSEC has gotten to the bottom of this we'll see who's really to blame. Now, I can't vouch for every single person at Chiatech, but I know that I certainly had nothing to do with it. So, if I could profit greatly without being personally involved, I suspect that it's quite probable that a number of my friends at Chiatech could have also gained greatly without being a part of this tragic hoax.

KAUVUTO: Well that's going to have to be the last word. For Maria Blumaroono, I'm Neil Kauvuto saying thank you and good night.