by Professor Chesterpot

Arriving at the Battledome around six-thirty in the evening, a crowd had already formed at the door. Usually showing up a little early is a good way to avoid the wait, but tonight’s marquee matchup has inspired a more anxious crowd than usual. The feature match between Jackie Chia and Skeith Segal is sure to be a memorable one: a classic clash between the agile Chia and the awesome power of Segal. Once in the door, I go to my seat and leaf through my program for tonight’s matches. After a few minutes, the lights dim and the first match is on; rather than watch the sloppy rookies throw haymakers, I make my way to the concession stand and order a Streaky BLT and a Neocola. Getting back to my seat, I settle in for the rest of the undercard.

Chuck Nimmo is paired up against Bruce Lenny- these guys have duked it out dozens of times before, and each time is more exciting than the last. Tonight’s contest is no exception, as the brawl finally ends with a patented Rainbow Flash. Owww! The move leaves Nimmo slumped on the mat. But rest assured, this tough customer will be back for more next week. For our next matchup, JubJub Van Damme squares off against Jetsam Li, the sensational newcomer. Although Van Damme is a grizzled veteran with an arsenal of finishing moves, the youngster’s blinding speed is simply too much, and he peppers the JubJub with combinations until he is finally forced to concede defeat or run the risk of a serious injury.

Finally, the arrival of the main event: Chia and Segal. At first, the Chia makes the lumbering Skeith look clumsy by pulling his shirt over his head and chopping him on the belly. The match progresses, and the smaller, faster Jackie is continuing to have his way with the beleaguered Skeith. However, the tide of the match turns when, as Jackie plays to the crowd with his back to his opponent, the hulking Segal approaches him from behind and tosses the Chia into the fourth row. From that point on, Segal continued to pound little Jackie with impunity, until the Chia gathered his second wind and floored the mighty Skeith with an Enchantment spell, allowing Jackie Chia to pull out an astonishing upset victory.

Ah yes, but such amazing displays are not rare at the Battledome; on the contrary, these gutsy and determined warriors seem to almost make it look commonplace. But lest we should ever forget, the ’domers (as they are called by their fans) are a special kind of performer. Equal parts world-class athlete and master showman, their unique brand of entertainment is beyond compare and not to be taken for granted!