Yet again, The Neopian Times is privileged to present Neopia’s leading economic analysts. Along with bringing you all the latest news from the floor of the exchange, our hosts will be joined by P.J. Grundonn, Director of Operations for The Presidential Palace. P.J. will be here to discuss his company’s recent success. And now, here are Neil and Maria…
KAUVUTO: Hello and welcome to this week’s edition of The Neo-Market Report. I’m your host Neil Kauvuto, and as always I’m honoured to introduce you to my lovely co-host, the one and only Maria Blumaroono, who joins us from the floor of the exchange with the latest word on today’s big financial events. So Maria, who’s been making news today?
BLUMAROONO: Well Neil, after languishing for nearly six weeks, the Neodaq has had its second consecutive strong week, jumping a solid twenty-nine points, almost as impressive as last week’s thirty-three point gain. When asked about the Big Board’s recent surge, Neopian Reserve Chairman Arvid Grundospeck was quoted as saying, “After taking a beating for nearly two months, it’s nice to see the economy pick itself up off the canvas and come out swinging. Hopefully, this is just the beginning of a long and profitable run.”
Among those leading the way this week is Skeith Feeding, who received the reluctant approval of Neopia’s Health & Welfare Commission on Monday. During a press conference held to announce the commission’s findings, Chief Investigator Rogan Shuttlesby declared, “Upon closer inspection of Skeith Feeding’s promotional leaflets, we discovered some fine print in the lower right-hand corner. That fine print stated, ‘Skeith Feeding Ltd. maintains the right to make up all kinds of stuff about our products. Therefore, by acknowledging in this disclaimer that the statements we make about our products are, by and large, patently false, we can say whatever we want, and there’s nothing you can do about it.' So, we don’t have much choice…there’s really no way for us to charge them with making false claims.” As a result of these findings, stock in Skeith Feeding jumped a whopping twenty-points, as investors flocked to pick up shares of this proven moneymaker.
KAUVUTO: On the other hand, there are a few companies who are continuing to flounder during this time of relative prosperity. One such company is the mysterious Powlex, who announced on Thursday that the company’s earnings were down three percent for the fourth quarter of Y3. In one of the strangest press conferences of recent memory, Powlex’s anonymous spokesman read a brief statement, then refused to answer any questions. So, we STILL have no idea how much the company earns, if they’re profitable, or even what it is that they do, exactly. Hmm, strange…
BLUMAROONO: Well, somebody who’s no stranger to The Neo-Market Report is our next guest. As Director of Operations for The Presidential Palace, P. J. Grundonn has made a name for himself as the one responsible for Neopia’s most luxurious hotel. P.J., we’re so glad you could come back…
P.J.: Maria, I’m delighted that you’ve given me the chance to return.
BLUMAROONO: Now in the past two weeks, your shares have climbed quite a bit…
P.J.: Yes, that’s correct. We went up thirteen NPs last week, and we did twenty-nine points a share this week.
BLUMAROONO: So tell us, why have investors suddenly decided to put their money with you and your company?
P.J.: Well Maria, this recent good fortune isn’t something that’s happened to us overnight. It’s been more of a reward for the years of top-notch performance that we’ve had as one of the Neodaq’s leading stocks. You see, at a time like this when the market is still very fragile, investors are looking to put their money with a proven winner. Our long-term track record has shown us to be a company that, quarter after quarter, is steadily capable of generating results.
KAUVUTO: But, given your “spare no expense” attitude, which we’ve discussed here before, how are you still able to consistently come through with such a high profits?
P.J.: Neil, in order to understand how we’re able to give our guests nothing but the best, and still make tremendous profits, there’s one important fact that you must understand. And that is the fact that the demand to stay in Neopia’s best hotel is incredibly high. If you walked into the Presidential Palace this afternoon and said, “Give me a room,” well, it would not be so simple, because every room in our hotel has been sold out, weeks in advance.
So, when you have a situation where you know that EVERY night, EVERY room is going to be sold out, you have what is known as a “built in profit margin”. Thanks to this built in profit margin, we are able to calculate, with stunning accuracy, the exact amount of money that we will earn each quarter. So, having that as our budget, we then allow ourselves a very comfortable sum of NP, which is what we use to facilitate our guests’ every desire. And that, my friends, is how we do it…
BLUMAROONO: Fascinating! Well, unfortunately, that’s all the time that we have today. For P.J. Grundonn and Neil Kauvuto, this is Maria Blumaroono saying thank you, and so long….