To Hunt, Trap, and Eliminate a Scammer
NEOPIA CENTRAL - Most users, upon seeing a scammer, report them. While it is
a very sensible thing to do, and in most cases highly recommended, it's not
always the most fun (reporting them right away that is, not not reporting them
at all). Instead, there is a technique called Scam-Baiting, and it's more fun
than the time you threw socks at the Brain Tree.
Getting a Victim
Before you can go through with torturing a poor, kind little scammer, you've
got to find one. The easiest way is to go onto the main Chat Boards and look
around a bit. The three best boards for finding scammers are as follows: Newbie
chat, Main chat, and Trade and Auctions. Sometimes you'll find one right away,
but other times it may take a bit to land your catch. Patience will pay off,
just keep looking for posts that say something like, "MAKE 1 MILLION NEOPOINTS
INSTATNLY!!!!!!!!!!" Once you've found them, it's time to send them a quick
The Art of War
Now it comes down to tactics. The tactics you use are purely a matter of taste,
nothing more. Some people prefer to act like complete idiots, while others like
to make it look like there are four separate people using the same account (a
personal favorite). Here's the basic list of the most used tactics.
This tactic basically consists of sending them a message saying, "plz iz wanna
mak da monee tel meh how plz plz plz il give ya muh pesswerd." Usually, they'll
send you a message saying that they need your password to, "Install a program."
Then, rather than giving them your password, you come up with a colorful reason
why you can't. Some people like to say, "her it iz ******!!!!" and act like
you typed it in, but it was blocked out. Others prefer to suddenly act like
they have doubts, and say, "howz do I no u not scam meh???????" This usually
gets a pretty funny response, though some scammers get scared (if they do, don't
worry about it, they wouldn't have worked very well for what you're doing. You
need a pretty persistent, brave scammer).
The "Shared account"
This tactic can lead to barrels of fun. But be warned: this technique only
works to its full potential with imagination. The first Neomail. should have
one of your characters asking how to get the money. But remember, at the bottom
of the Neomail. say something like this, "Oh, and by the way, this account is
shared by me, so-and-so, blah-blah, Chet flash, etc. [just list out all the
characters that will be interacting with the scammer.] So just talk to whomever
responds to your Neomails." Then, switch back between characters each Neomail.
(or ever so often, anyway). The characters should be bizarre, extreme, and easy
to make conflict with each other. Of course, you can make them however you like,
but that's what I recommend. Just remember that one character should be falling
for the scam, while others aren't. This will lead to mass-conflict, huge amounts
of confusion (on the scammer's behalf), and general hilarity. Trust me, if done
right, this strategy WORKS.
The "My friend gave me this account," user
This is a pretty good technique, too. You can use any personality you like,
but you just throw in the, "My friend gave me this account... It doesn't have
anything good. =( Only stuff like a Hypno Helmet, a Sunshine shield, and something
dumb called a baby paint brush. I'm sorry I don't have anything good to give
you. Oh well, later, sorry I couldn't help..." Then, 100% of the time the scammer
will send you something back like, "Hey! WAIT! It's fine, I guess I can take
some of that stuff for the 'secret' I have..." Then, the goal is to drag it
out as long as possible.
That pretty much covers it for tactics. Just remember: NEVER break character.
If your character is a chatspeak-using maniac, don't suddenly start being calm,
and using proper grammar (and vice-versa, if your character is calm, and uses
proper grammar). Also, there are numerous other ways to do it, plus ones you
think up, these are just the absolute most common.
The Torture Begins
The idea while playing with a scammer's mind is to string them along for as
long as possible. Whatever you have to do to prolong it, do it. Eventually,
the scammer will grow more and more tired of your antics, whatever they may
be. Usually, after too long, they'll just give up and mope away. That's not
what you want, you want to break the news to them yourself (see below). The
trick is finding the right amount of antics, with the right amount of making
them think they're closer to getting your password (which they will never be).
The easiest way (and, to my knowledge, the only way) to see if a scammer is
growing tired is to examine their Neomails very closely. Most scammers are very
patient with you at the beginning, because they don't want to offend or annoy
you. Slowly, as they grow more and more tired of you, they'll get less and less
patient. At the beginning, their Neomails. are more like, "Yup, I can help you
get the money. =) I just need your pass, I promise not to scam you." But slowly,
as your antics wear them down, they'll begin to start sending things like this,
"JUST GIMME DA PASSS!!!!" At that point, you know they're getting more towards
the end of their patience. When they get to the latter stage, it's time to make
them think they're making progress. Try being a little more submissive, saying
something like, "Okay, how do I give you my password?" They'll almost always
respond with a, "Just put the first part here: and the second part here:" This
is the final stage, it's time to draw it out as long as possible.
Depending on the strategy you're using, try to figure out a reason why you
can't give it to them (even though you're trying to, supposedly). If you're
playing dumb, say you either can't remember it, or you don't know how to type
it in. If you're playing the multiple account, make one of the characters shaky
about giving it up. If you're using the my-friend-gave-me-this-account strategy,
say they didn't tell you the password, or you promised not to give it to anyone
with an underline in their name (or something equally absurd). If you're using
a different strategy, then you'll have to come up with your own plan, but it's
pretty easy to think of excuses.
THE END OF A SCAMMER
Finally, when you just can't delay it any longer, there's a time where you
have to tell them the truth. The good news is that this can be a lot of fun
in itself, and as always, there are a lot of different techniques.
There's the flat-out-truth technique. It basically consists of, well, telling
them the truth and nothing more. A simple, "You've been tricked, scammer! I
know you thought I was a dumb enough to fall for it, but it turns out you were
dumb enough to fall for my trick! Sorry, loser, you've been reported, goodbye."
That's the basic, cut and dry, simple truth message.
Then there's the Ice Paint brush (Kiddo's favorite, many other people have
adopted it as well. Remember that I DID NOT make this up, it was all Kiddo).
The basic message goes something like this: "Here's a rare item! It's the super-rare,
Ice Paint Brush! This paint brush will give you the amazingly cool color of
FROZEN all over your account. Sorry, you've been reported, enjoy the cold."
And finally, there's just your imagination. Just make up a response, you don't
need to be whomever you were acting as, just be yourself.
On the note of the final blow, you're likely to get a VERY scathing reply (that
is, if they're not already frozen). Some people like to get it, just to see
how dumb the scammer really was. Other people, however, don't want to take the
beating. It's up to you, but if you don't want to be blasted, block them (though,
they're likely to mail you from another account).
Hopefully, you've wasted valuable hours of a sorry scammer's life. If you have,
go ahead and pat yourself on the back. I salute you! If you haven't yet, get
out there and torture a useless scammer, it's your service to the Neopian race!
One more thing: Thanks to gentle_lil_queen for this whole idea, and to everyone
else at the NTWF! You guys know who you are.