|
Untitled Document
DARIGAN CITADEL - From Terror Mountain to Krawk Island, Cellblock fever is sweeping
the nation! Cellblock was created by Master Vex, Darigan's head prison warden.
Think about it: You've got a jail full of prisoners, why not have some fun with
them. So, he created Cellblock, and challenged all of the inmates to defeat him,
and if they won, they would be set free. No prisoner has beaten him to this day.
One of these prisoners is a Korbat named Barallus. He's a very cheerful fellow,
that's always smiling, even if he loses… what keeps him so happy? I had to find
out myself, so I went to Darigan's citadel of darkness, using my Mutant Buzz
as my disguise (Thanks to lab ray, he isn't a Mutant Buzz anymore) and we went
to talk the cheerful prisoner of war. The following interview is a Neopian Times
exclusive.
l33tstarman: I'm here with Barallus, the Korbat. He's a Cellblock player here
in Darigan's Citadel. Tell me, Barallus, how are things here in the citadel?
Barallus: I LOVE THE CITADEL!
l33tstarman: Well, uhh, how do they treat you here?
Barallus: They treat me well… If I behave myself, they feed me!
l33tstarman: That's awful! Are you saying sometimes them don't even feed you?
Barallus: I'm not usually very hungry… only when Number 5 talks about Jelly
World. I'd love to eat some jelly people!
l33tstarman: OK… well, enough about food. Let's talk about Cellblock. How
long have you been playing Cellblock here?
Barallus: A loooooooooong time. But I get mad whenever I get challenged by
someone… you wanna know why? Because to get past me, you only have to beat me
twice to advance, but you have to beat Vex six times! What's up with that?
l33tstarman: So they force you to accept challenges from anyone who wanders
by?
Barallus: Force? No, I LOVE playing Cellblock… heh heh…
(I tried to ask him more questions, but Barallus kept going on about how much
he didn't mind being forced to play the same game every day. It took awhile,
but finally, he folded.)
l33tstarman: You can't actually be happy here, can you? (Finally, I was making
some progress.)
l33tstarman: Well, what is it that makes this place so horrible?
Barallus: Where do I start? For one, Meekel is always whining about how he
never wanted to be in the army. Galgarrath keeps trying to eat me, and Neopets
Team keeps having to fix Cellblock? What's with those random pieces? It doesn't
make sense! It's driving me mad!
l33tstarman: Well, now that we've established how much you hate it here, why
are you always happy?
Barallus: It keeps me going… I figure maybe Darigan will think I've really
lost it and eventually let me go. He's already got guards outside my cell at
all times, and why guard a little Korbat? Because he thinks I'm crazy. I'm so
close I figure I'll be free by the time Neopets Team decides to continue the
plot.
l33tstarman: Tell us about Master Vex. He created Cellblock, didn't he?
Barallus: Yeah, he did. He uses it to mess with us, just for fun. He'll even
make up rules sometimes, just to make sure he doesn't lose. No inmate has EVER
beaten, so we've all been stuck here ever since the war ended.
l33tstarman: Master Vex is the jail warden. He seems like a pretty tough guy
to me. Why wasn't he on the battlefield?
Barallus: Easy. He's a whimp. Think about it: How many brave Myncis have you
ever heard of?
l33tstarman: There was that Tyrannian guy…
Barallus: Can you name him?
L33tstarman: Uhh…
(Me and PKStarman huddled, and tried desperately to remember the Tyrannian
Mynci's name, but to no avail.)
l33tstarman: OK, you win. We can't remember his name…
Barallus: That's right you can't. Myncis are naturally very calm creatures,
not made for fighting. That's why the guards are all Grarrls and Skeiths. Have
you ever owned a big Neopet?
L33tstarman: No, I can't say that I have.
Barallus: They can eat anything. ANYTHING. It doesn't have to be a food item.
They destroy more items than Sloth's Lab Ray.
l33tstarman: So, that's why he's a warden, and not a guard, because he's smarter
than he is strong.
Barallus: Oh, he's not smart.
l33tstarman: Then, how does he always win Cellblock?
Barallus: Well, he never actually TOLD us the rules… we had to pick it up
along the way. Can't blame him for not going easy on us, though. We are prisoners,
after all.
l33tstarman: Well, thanks for opening up to us, Barallus.
Barallus: No problem. BYE!
A prisoner of war, forced to play a game every day, until he's finally set
free. He sits in his cell and endures the worst of the war of Meridell. Barallus
is truly a Neopian hero. What does the future hold for our captive Cellblock
cavalier? Maybe we'll know when Neopets Team advances the plot a little, but
who knows when that will be J. Just like all other Meridell supporters, the
future's looking grim, but with heroes like these, you can't go wrong.
NOTE: I'm a Darigan supporter, but I can feel for those who support Meridell.
Hang in there. The pain is only temporary… MWAHAHAHA… ha….
| 
