Ultimate Weapon: Part One
He was in a dark room. He couldn't see much of his surroundings.
Then, someone flipped a light switch and the whole room was flooded with light.
Agent 00 Hog shielded his eyes from the all of a sudden brightly illuminated
room. The walls were a bright white colour. He turned around and saw a Grarrl.
He couldn't make out the face of the red Grarrl. He could see, though, that
he or she was holding a surprisingly beautiful Faerie Aisha. Hog assumed the
Aisha to be a hostage. He had to do something to get her back. He suddenly strangely
knew the Aisha from somewhere and he wanted to save her.
"Do you have the money?" the Grarrl asked nervously
in a deep voice. It was a male. He also had a bit of trouble talking English
for he had an accent.
00 Hog looked down and found himself carrying
a duffle bag. He unzipped it and found tons of NP. "It's all here," he answered.
"Then let us do this quickly. I give you the
Aisha, and you give me my money. Is that real NP, in your bag?"
"Yes," Hog replied.
"Show me a sample then!" the Grarrl demanded.
"Sample? What do you mean...?" Suddenly, a green
Pawkeet, presumably the Grarrl's, swooped down from above, snatched the bag
with the NP in it from 00 Hog, and deposited it onto the marble floor next to
the Grarrl. The Grarrl smiled evilly. "I shall be going now," he said.
"Hey, you promised the girl! Hand her over!"
"I did not promise nothing, fool!" the Grarrl
said in a mimicking tone as he started rising up in the air. 00 Hog noticed
that there was a rope attached to the Grarrl. It was lifting the Grarrl and
the Aisha to an open window in the ceiling. He had to stop them. Hog grabbed
into his jacket pocket, hoping that it was there. He grasped it. He had it with
him! He took out his 00 Hog battlecard and threw it sideways at the rope. The
rope easily sliced in half and the Grarrl and Aisha went falling to the ground.
00 Hog ran to catch the terrified Faerie Aisha and she landed in his arms, unlike
the Grarrl, who hit the floor with a big bang. The Aisha opened her mouth to
say thank you but all that came out was a really loud ringing noise. The noise
sounded very familiar to something he knew... yes. He knew now. It was the same
sound as his alarm clock!
00 Hog lifted his head off his pillow and realized
that it was just a dream. "Ah, the things I do for Neopia..." he said to himself.
It was eight o clock, as usual. He got out of bed and went to the bathroom,
where he did the usual morning wash routine. First he would brush his teeth
and polish his tusks. Then he would wash himself up with a towel and a bar of
soap. He then dried himself and used his perfume. Then came the most important
part of the morning: doing his hair. He took his hair gel, put some on his hands
and he put it in his hair. The phone rang.
He picked it up quickly and got it all sticky
from his hair gel. "Hello?" he said, annoyed with himself.
"Hello Agent 00 Hog! How are we this morning?"
"I'm fine, Jasper. Let me guess, you have another
case for me?" It was his director at the bureau and old friend, Jasper the speckled
"Right on the spot, my dear friend. Be at the
department in ten minutes." Jasper hung up.
It was at times like this when Hog hated Jasper:
when Jasper would keep 00 Hog guessing and wondering what could be so important.
It usually was important and that day was no exception.
Agent 00 Hog entered the building and straightened
his tie. Jasper flew down from a suspended hallway ledge from above. "You know,
there are stairs to use right?"
"Why use someone else's creation when you have
your own?" Jasper said and flapped his wings and jumped up and down on his scrawny
Hog thought that this was blasphemy. Sometimes
Jasper was full of blasphemy and Hog thought that sometimes, Jasper just showed
it to annoy him.
"Anyway, I have a something for you to work on. The cooking pot on Mystery
Island was stolen yesterday night while the Island Faerie was away at an important
meeting up in Faerieland!"
00 Hog looked surprised. "Any suspects or evidence?"
"No evidence whatsoever, although a witness
said to have seen a spotted Koi around there the day before, eyeing the pot.
At night, when she heard a noise outside, she peered out of her window and saw
the same spotted Koi and silhouettes of other Neopets carrying something big.
The big object, if there was one, was most likely to be the cooking pot. The
witness was an island Kiko."
Hog noticed Jasper's phrase "if there was one".
"You aren't sure whether she was telling the truth, or not, right?" Hog asked.
"Well..." Jasper hesitated, "she was the only witness who saw anything...
And it's happened before that Neopets report incidents just for rewards. I think
that the first step of your mission should be to find out if she is telling
the truth. You are a known to be an expert at interrogating, so you should be
perfect for the job. "
"Off you go."
"Alright, alright! But can I at least have an
"Ah, yes, I forgot. You will find the island
Kiko at this address."
Jasper handed 00 Hog a folded piece of paper.
On it, read:
56711 Harbour Lane, Mystery Island
When his mechanical rectangular tub was filled up with water to his liking,
he jumped in, splashing water all over the place. He swam for a while in circles,
his fins gliding with the fresh water. Mooki loved his life and he loved the
idea that his idea was going smoothly, as planned.
He pushed the up button on his water resistant
remote control, and rolled into the next room of his secret lair in Maraqua.
"Let me see it again!" he demanded excitedly. One of Mooki's skunk Mynci henchmen
grunted, weary from the night before, but nonetheless wheeled in the spotted
Mooki marvelled at the cooking pot. He went
over to feel it, wondering if it could be true. "Yes!" he said. "All of the
hard planning finally paid off! Well done!"
Then, another one of his skunk Mynci henchmen
came into the room. "Uh... sir?"
"What is it?"
"You remember that Kiko that saw us the night
before while we stole the cooking pot?"
"Ah, yes, her. She is only a threat if she tells
someone- so right now there is no need to worry. On top of that, she only saw
me there. There must be other spotted Koi's on the island too."
"Yes, but which spotted Koi has a whole bunch
of skunk Myncis following him wherever he goes?"
"How do you know she saw you guys too?"
"That's the point; we don't know… and
Agent 00 Hog is over there right now."
"Dou.... Doub... 00 Hog??!! The Agent
"I'm afraid so, sir"
Mooki's heart started racing. He had heard about
00 Hog before and how he cracked a lot of cases. Hog was famous after
all. Then, he took a deep breath and calmed down. "Okay," he said calmly, "you
ten over there," he pointed at a group of skunk Myncis. "You will listen to
my instructions. You will take a visit to this Kiko..." He said the word Kiko
with great disgust.
Agent 00 Hog knocked on the door of the home where the witness lived. An island
Kiko answered the door, as suspected. "Hello. I'm from the N.E.D.N. (National
Espionage Department of Neopia) I was sent to ask some questions on last night's
cooking pot incident."
"Oh hello. My name is Penny. Nice to meet you…"
"The name's Hog, 00 Hog."
"Please come in then." The Kiko led Hog to her
living room where she asked if he wanted sit down. He sat down in a Zen sofa.
The walls of the room were beige. She had most of the rest of the Zen furniture
"So… is there anything you'd like to tell me
about yesterday night?"
"I woke up in the middle of the night from a
noise outside. I was sleeping on the upstairs floor, in my room. My room faces
this side of the house." She pointed north. "I had a good view of the cooking
Hog knew that one of the main reasons that he
had come here was to find out if she was telling the truth. He also knew that
there was no bathroom on the floor he was on, the first floor, because the room
he was in was the only room on the first floor. Therefore, there must have been
a bathroom on one of the upper floors. "I have to go to the washroom," he said,
"Is there any sort of washroom I can go to?" While he would be on the upper
floor, he would see if her bedroom window really did face north.
"Yes, go to the second floor and it is the first
door to the left."
"Thanks," he said and got up.
"Wait!" she called after him. "I know that you
don't really have to go to the bathroom. I am telling the truth. If you don't
believe me, you can go to my room to see my window…"
00 Hog turned around and faced Penny. He laughed
nervously. She's a quick thinker he thought. "No, I'm fine," he said
and walked back to the sofa. What I'm doing is useless. Of course she's telling
the truth, he told himself.
"Would you like a cup of tea?"
"No thanks. Anything else you want to say?"
"No, that's about it. Like you may already know,
I saw a spotted Koi and other silhouettes carrying the big object. I guess it
was the cooking pot. The others that were with the Koi, I couldn't make out.
But there was a group of them and they were all the same size."
"Okay then. Thank you for all your help." 00
Hog smiled and got up to leave when someone knocked on the door. It was at times
like this when Hog would have to use his keen sense from all his years of studying
espionage to know that something was wrong. He knew they had to get out of there.
The knock came again. "Penny?" he asked in a whisper.
"Yes?" she said halfway to the door to open
"Ask who it is before you open it."
"Who is it?" Penny asked the mysterious knocker.
"I am here to ask you some questions. I am from
the…" Penny heard unfolding of paper.
"I am from the National Espio… Espiona…" Penny
now heard the voice whisper, "What's this word?"
Another hushed voice replied, "It's es-pi-on-age,
The first voice came back now, "Heh heh, sorry
ma'am, I am from the National Espionage Department of Neopia." Something was
"One moment!" Penny looked back at 00 Hog, who
had started to hide in the closet. When he was done placing himself inside the
closet, he told Penny to open the door.
To be continued…