Of Scorched Pyramicake and Thornberry Tea by tephani | |
Untitled Document
'Twas a frigid, blustery morn on Terror Mountain, with
not a tread marring the freshly fallen snow. You step nimbly out of your charming
ski chalet and admire the beauty of the serene landscape.
WAIT A SECOND! You didn't think I was going
to write the whole story like that, did you? No, I'm here for your entertainment.
If you want to have a nap, I suggest you head on over to the Neomarket Report.
Nothing exciting ever happens there. Well, back to the story.
-PIFF!- You feel something hit your neck from
behind, and then you experience the icy wet sensation of snow sliding down the
back of your jacket. You quickly whip around to see who had nailed you with
the snowball, and are bombarded with dozens more, coming at you from all directions.
Utterly stunned, you sink to your knees and huddle in a ball, waiting for the
snowballs to stop. They keep coming and coming, and start to hit you with such
force that you begin to slide down the slope of Terror Mountain ever so slightly.
Then a GIGANTIC snowball hits you hard, and you begin a terrifying tumble downwards,
ultimately falling to your death.
Nawww... just kidding. That wouldn't be a very
good way to end a story! After all, you're probably the only one reading this.
I ought to keep you around just for being a good sport.
Anyway, you keep getting hit with snowballs,
and by this time, you're getting awfully annoyed with whoever's throwing them.
You roar in a big loud voice "STOP IT YOU MEANIE!", but the snowballs
keep coming. Trying to see who it is, you only manage a to catch a glimpse of
the attacker. This doesn't help you much, so you make a run for Mika and Carassa's
igloo, hoping you'll be able to take cover there. Not a good idea. Not a good
idea at all. You burst through the door and immediately fall unconscious from
a codestone that Mika has heaved down from the attic. Whatever will you do now?
But I think a more important question is, how
on earth does an igloo have an attic? Not to mention, when are Mika and Carassa
ever going to leave? They've been unloading their possessions for years now!
Well, no time to ponder such things now... after all, you're unconscious.
When you finally wake up, you find yourself
in the jaws of a large, mean looking Grarrl. After a brief panic attack, you
manage to thrash yourself free, and fall to the ground landing on a dune of..
SAND?! It seems you've somehow made your way to the Lost Desert. After a brief,
and very confusing chat with the Grarrl, you are able to deduce that M&C sold
you off at their Garage Sale as some sort of Gourmet Club delicacy. The Grarrl
thought you looked appetizing, and was taking you home for a barbecue. And I
don't think he meant to have you as a guest, either.
Well, you manage to buy your freedom from the
Grarrl by giving him back the NP he spent on you. You only cost 214 NP! Can
you believe that? I'm sure you're worth much more... at least 215 or 216! But
of course, it's the thought that counts... well maybe not so much in this case,
that more often applies when it comes to gift giving... it's not as though you
were being given as a gift so much as you were being taken as a meal... oh dear,
it seems I'm rambling again....
So, free once more, but this time in the Lost
Desert, you survey your surroundings. As you look around, you catch a whiff
of a horrid smell that seems to be coming from... you! Oh dear, the hot desert
is no place to be bundled up in winter clothes! It's no wonder you've been sweating
up a storm. You immediately discard your coat and ski bibs and head on over
to the river to wash up a bit.
After a relaxing swim, you head on over to the
Food Stall to see about a bite to eat. To your dismay, everything is sold out!
You decide to go visit old Coltzan, maybe he'll be able to grant you some food.
The sand feels warmer than usual... or maybe that was just because you aren't
wearing any shoes! All the same, Coltzan blessed you in his deep booming voice
with some... burnt desert food? Yuck. But you are awfully hungry, so you take
the Scorched Pyramicake and eat it anyway. Once again, not a good idea. Only
a few minutes later you are doubled over in pain. It seems that spoiled food
doesn't exactly agree with your digestive system.
Oh dear, there I go again... causing harm to
my humble little audience. I really must stop doing that. Please don't leave!
It will get better, I promise.
You frantically plead with a passing Air Faerie
to fly you to the Hospital in Neopia Central. She agrees, either because she
is so kind, or because that Pyramicake looks like it'll be back to visit you
any second now. You arrive at the Neopian Hospital without further delay, though
the pain is definitely getting worse. The Gelert doctor immediately admits you,
and after a quick examination, he diagnoses you with Grumbles. He prescribes
some Grumble Be Gone Tablets, but being the cheapskate that you are, you decide
to go see if you can be cured for free at the Healing Springs.
You manage to persuade another Air Faerie to
fly you up to Faerieland, though this one isn't quite so quick to agree. It
takes a fair bit of pleading and puppy-eyeing (and maybe a small NP bribe),
but you eventually make it up. Upon arrival at the Healing Springs, the Water
Faerie grants you with fifteen hit points. Fifteen hit points? What are you
going to do with those? You're quite sick by now, and getting weary of all this
travelling. Digging out your last 100 NPs, you step right up to the Wheel of
Excitement and give it a spin spin spin! The wheel clicks gradually to a stop,
and before you can see what it lands on, you feel an intense golden glow surrounding
you. You're healed! Hurrah!
See, I told you it would get better! Except
now you're broke, hungry, and hundreds of miles away from your ski chalet on
Terror Mountain. Hmm... maybe I lied.
Quite out of options, you sit dejectedly on
a cloud, feeling sorry for yourself. Just then, a brilliant idea strikes you!
Brilliant? From you? I never would have expected it. Well, they say miracles
can happen..
Anyway, your brilliant idea is to hijack a Poogle
from the Poogle Races and ride him back down to Terror Mountain, where you can
finally return home to your ski chalet. You saunter up to the stands and take
a seat in the front row. The race starts, and you poise yourself next to the
fence, ready to grab a Poogle and take off with him. They come hurtling down
the track, and you're all ready to nab the fastest one, when you look up at
the stands and see the person who was nailing you with snowballs from this morning!
Your mind wavers between revenge and a safe
trip home, and it eventually decides on the safe trip home. So you lunge out
and snatch a Poogle, only to discover that all the fast ones had passed by,
and you were stuck with pitiful Poogle Five. Oh, he was chubby all right, and
it would take him a week to make it back down to Terror Mountain. You stand
there, staring at the pathetic thing when you realize that the NeoPolice are
coming for you! Well you should know, stealing a Poogle is no small crime...
You have no other choice than to make a run
for it, so you let poor Poogle Five go and sprint away from the NeoPolice as
fast as you can. Before you know it, you are somersaulting downwards at a rapid
pace. It seems you have run all the way off the edge of the Faerieland Cloud!
Well, this seems like the end of it.. I'd hate to see what you look like after
hitting the ground from 10,000 feet...
But no! You didn't really think I'd let you
die, did you? Of course not! After all, we've been through a lot together. Well,
it's more like I've put you through a lot.. Still, I'd never let you go that
easily!
You tumble and tumble down, with no end in site,
when all of the sudden, you find yourself clinging to... the mysterious snowball
thrower? Upon closer inspection, you realize it is the Snow Faerie! While quite
annoyed at her antics earlier, and rather awaiting an explanation, you are immensely
glad that she saved you. The two of you fly back to Terror Mountain, and she
invites you into her home.
She kindly offers you a mug of hot liquid, and
you reluctantly take it, fearing that it is one of her home-made concoctions
that you have many times brought her ingredients for. But after a sip, you realize
it is Thornberry Tea, and a good brew of it at that! Now for the explanation...
The Snow Faerie explains that she was getting rid of her stash of extra snowballs,
she had quite a few stored up for prizes that had gone bad and needed to be
disposed of.
They do go bad, you knew that right? Ever wonder
what that lovely odor coming from your Safety Deposit Box was? Stale Yellow
Snowballs, of course. Honestly, a SDB clean out every once in a while wouldn't
hurt anything.
Anyway, she was getting rid of her snowballs,
and she just didn't see you until you had started running to the igloo! She
tells you that she is very sorry for any troubles she may have caused you, and
she asks if there's anything she could do to make up for it.
After thinking about it for a little while,
you decide that you'd like nothing more than to return to your chalet and have
a nice long nap. After all, she did save your life....
Wait... You're not that dumb, are you? The Snow
Faerie has so many valuable potions and battle items she could give you! What's
the matter with you?
She asks if you're sure about it, and you say
that on second thought, you might like a mug of Thornberry Tea to take home.
It is rather chilly outside.
*sigh* I really thought I saw some genius in
you... but I guess not..
The Snow Faerie refills your mug and sends you
on your way. You make it home safely and soundly, enjoy your tea, and have a
nice long nap. And everyone lives happily ever after. But really... how boring
is that?
The End |