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Neopia's Fill in the Blank News Source | 20th day of Running, Yr 21
The Neopian Times Week 75 > Articles > A Poultry Plot?

A Poultry Plot?

by sol_luna_estrella

MYSTERY ISLAND - Most of us have seen turkey dinners and duck necks in Neopia, and many know that before Thanksgiving and then Christmas, prices skyrocketed and have come down slowly since. However, where do these items come from? I mean, seriously--has anyone seen a turkey waddling around Mystery Island lately?

Well, I can tell you that I have seen neither turkey nor duck in Neopia, which presents the question: How on Neopia are we supplied with these meals? This question has been looming over me and bothering me to no end for a few days. Are there actually turkeys on Neopia so wild and good at survival that they are excellent hide-and-seek players? Do Neopians that live partly on Earth bring them, somehow, to Neopia? Furthermore, if the latter is true and our pets are willing to eat animals indigenous to Earth, then what's to stop Earthlings from destroying animals from Neopia? How are we to stop this barbaric process?

Okay, so I'm not a vegetarian and I'm not planning on becoming one anytime soon, and neither are my pets; however, it doesn't seem fair to the poor fowls that they have to be tortured both on Neopia and Earth. Therefore, I have compiled six theories that could be the cause of the strife or so many fowls.

The Smuggle Theory
Maybe, as aforesaid, Neopians smuggle turkey in from Earth. The only problem with this is that it seems like it would be a difficult process, and it hardly seems logical. It would be very difficult unless this particular person happened to be part of the Neopets Team, in which case turkeys would not have literally been shoved into a computer anyway. For the most part, I think this can be ruled out.

The Hunter Theory
Maybe the other suggestion is true. Is wild turkey lurking about, scuttling away from vile turkey-and-duck-hunters? Could they be right there in our very own gardens, hiding in the rowzez, waiting for that human to pass by? Perhaps. However, you'd think we would have noticed by now, even if they are superb at keeping quiet and out of sight. Maybe they aren't about our NeoHomes, but could they be around in the Haunted Wood, away from the main grove; could they be on the beaches of Mystery Island; or could they be concealed by the peak on Terror Mountain?

The Intelligence Theory
Perhaps poultry is smarter than we think and know how to work computers, and, while absorbed in caring for pets or playing a game, they are captured. This, however, doesn't seem like a plausible theory. After all, while on Neopets, do you necessarily materialise into Neopia? Besides, how many user-lookups are out there that read, "Gobble! Gobble!"? I thought so.

The Entrepreneur Theory
Of course, this could be more innocent. Maybe it is just a person who found a good way to make money by bringing in turkey and duck from the farm they run and selling them. They would be very wealthy by now. It would be a wonderfully prosperous way to make money, and, on the surface, it seems almost harmless. Yet little do they know....

The Careless Theory
There's also always the obvious solution. Could the Neopets Team simply have been thoughtless? Could they have dumped in some turkey and duck for their enjoyment? Was it a small mistake? It's a pretty easy mistake to make, after all, because turkey dinners on Earth are considered normal. There's nothing strange about them at all until they mysteriously appear in fowl-less worlds.

The Cruelty Theory
Okay, so maybe they just made a careless mistake--but maybe the Team totally is heartless and likes seeing unfair actions taken. You never know, after all. This may be likely, but is it true?

The Pet Theory
These duck dinners could possibly be made with Neopian animals like Mallards. What about turkeys, though? Where does that leave them? Where does that leave the other foods on Neopia that also are native to Earth? Take pork steak, for example. Where are the pigs? Are they Snorkles? Is the steak part Earth cows or Kaus? What about ham? Kau-Kau farm milk: an innocent item or a clue to other practices on Neopia?

The Conspiracy Theory
Is it a plot? Could a shadow--an established evildoer or a toddler just learning to walk in the scheme of evil scheming--be hovering, just waiting to cross paths with some unsuspecting, or possibly suspecting, fowl? That seems likely, at least to me. After all, turkey isn't, under normal circumstances, found in Neopia, so there must be someone--or something--scheming...planning...just waiting....

Therefore, as you can see, I can merely speculate about these turkeys and ducks as well as other foods that call Earth home. I can't be sure; is it just a little thing that was overlooked by the Neopets Team? Maybe. A conspiracy? Possibly. Yet I know this one thing for certain: whatever is lurking about persecuting turkey and duck, whether it be Chet Flash, Sloth, or Neopets Team, it surely cannot be a good thing. Whether the destroyer just an innocent entrepreneur or a certified bloodthirsty insane person that escaped from some asylum, he or she is a certain candidate for the Gallery of Evil.

I would welcome almost any comments or opinions about this article, so please feel free to Neomail me.

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