HAUNTED WOODS - Everywhere you look, they're there. When you think about how
many citizens Neopia has, how can you know who they are? Easy. Through these
articles, I hope you can get better acquainted with some of the less talked
about citizens of Neopia.
Last time I interviewed the Tree, a professional Snow Wars player. This week
I'm reporting from the the Neopian capital of evil--a.k.a. Haunted Woods. I'll
be interviewing the Hairy Tongue Beast.
I traveled through the dense forest with my little Kacheek, SilverEmerald.
He and I were searching for the Hairy Tongue Beast. All I know is he doesn't
come out to play very often...unless you count dinner. Finally I decided to
call out to see if he was around.
TK: Hello? Mr. Hairy Tongue Beast, sir, are you here? Could you come
out for an interview?
SE: And while you're at it, tell these funny red eyes to stop staring
at us. They're freaking me out.
Suddenly we heard some stomping as a giant red Grarrl entered the clearing.
He wasn't your average Grarrl, spikes and such everywhere, but there was no
other Neopet he looked like.
HTB: I agree to be interviewed. It'd be a nice change from the usual
stuff...licking Neopets and scaring them out of my forest forever.
SE: You...lick Neopets? Oh my goodness, it's quite a surprise you aren't
in the Gallery of Evil!
Suddenly the Hairy Tongue Beast did something I would never have thought possible
of a giant scary Grarrl. Something so strange it is still too odd to describe...well
not really. The poor monster burst out in tears. The sound of him wailing was
so loud, it shook the ground beneath us.
HTB: W-why c-can't I g-get into the G-galley...gallery...g-gallery of...E-e-e-e...
HTB: EXACTLY! IS IT I'M N-NOT E-VIL EN-EN-OUGH?
SE: Well Count Von Roo or Hubrid Nox or any other Neopian in the Gallery
of Evil aren't exactly famous for crying.
TK: Shhhh, please don't cry. You're very scary!
SE: Especially right now.
TK: You have your own Collectable Card! You've got to admit, that's
HTB: I do? I never knew that.
TK: Yes! It's very scary. I think it's a picture of you licking a Scorchio.
That Scorchio looked practically petrified. I'm pretty sure I have one or two
in my Neodeck...it's my favourite card
SE: What are you talking about? Your Neodeck is empty! You even called
it 'Waste of NP'!
HTB: I...I can't believe it! I'm flying in Happy Land!
SE: I'm staring in Horrorsville.
TK: I think it's time for us to move onto the next question. How were
you made? Just a freak of nature or what?
HTB: Ahhhhhh...oops, sorry. I just didn't know I'm the King of Evil!
I am so fierce.
SE: I'm shaking in my Wellington Boots.
TK: Just answer the question and eat SilverEmerald while you're at it.
SE: Eep! I'll be quiet.
HTB: I guess it all started one day when Hubrid Nox wanted the most
powerful minion possible. He found me, an average Grarrl at the time and took
me in. He forced me to drink a strange potion that caused me to mutate hideously.
The next thing he knew, I had licked him with my hairy tongue which caused me
to pass out. I ran out of his castle and found cover in this forest where I've
been ever since.
TK: Have your ever confronted Hubrid Nox since then.
HTB: Recently he tried to bring me back to his fortress but...I gave
him what was coming to him.
TK: Oh, I get it! The same thing I did to my brother when he stole my
HTB: You licked your brother until he was nearly dead?
TK: Erm...not exactly. Hey, what do you do all day? Do you just sit
around licking Slorgs who trespass?
HTB: Slorgs? Now that's my idea of a meal! The slime is just so--
TK: Next question. Pretend tomorrow somebody came along and gave you
the choice to become a regular Grarrl. Would you choose to become the Grarrl?
HTB: Of course not! Then I wouldn't be the evil Neopian I am today.
My name wouldn't strike fear into the hearts of every living being.
SE: OK, I've been quiet too long! You aren't scary at all! You cry,
you talk about flying in Happy Land and you don't even reply in any way to my
sarcastic statements! You're as scary as a sleeping Babaa!
HTB: You just made a mistake.
SilverEmerald realised right then that the Hairy Tongue beast was as scary
as his Collectable Card made him out to be. It was when he regained consciousness
in the Neopian Hospital when he realised that. So should the Hairy Tongue Beast
be in the Gallery of Evil? No. He isn't evil at all, just very violent. This
signing off from the Haunted Woods--I mean Neopian Hospital. Send your best
wishes to SilverEmerald! Over and out.