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Neopia's Fill in the Blank News Source | 12th day of Swimming, Yr 22
The Neopian Times Week 68 > Articles > WAR! Meridell VS... Who Cares?

WAR! Meridell VS... Who Cares?

by stoneman3x

MERIDELL - Ever since the words "new world" popped up, everyone has been holding their breath waiting for the war that ALWAYS seems to come with a new world. Now all of us blue-faced Neopians can let our air out and start breathing again. *gasp sputter cough cough* Whew! That's better! And now that war is WHOO HOO finally here, it means we actually get to fight. And not only do we get to WHOO HOO actually fight, we get to PICK SIDES TOO!

In case you've been away on vacation on Mars and don't know what's been happening the last few months, I'll clue you in:

The World of Meridell pops up. We get a lot of cool games like "Go on an Illusen's Quest While the Turmaculus is Awake to Count as Many Towering Potato-Turnips as You Can While Picking Your Own Meristones". The Citadel of Darigan floats up.

OK, you're now pretty much up-to-date. There is a war going on between Meridell and Darigan because they are playing tag with floating gold ball. If that confuses you, let me explain the history behind this conflict. It can be found in the story of the "Champions of Meridell". I will now explain the plot of the story so you can be even more confused.

Chapter 1: A valiant Blue Lupe in shining armour beats the stuffing out of a bunch of scary monsters with his sword. A nearsighted Yellow Aisha in a school uniform beats the stuffing out of a scary Skeith with her lunchbox. In fact, she hits him so hard, it leaves bruises on his friends.

Chapter 2: Lisha, (which seems to be short for Yellow Aisha), goes to a museum and sees a grown-up version of her long-lost Blue Lupe brother, Jeran, in a really old painting. He is a really famous knight from long ago and this is a total shock to her. She had never heard of this knight before, despite the fact her Quiggle friend, Morris, is standing right behind her dressed up exactly like that knight and wearing Blue Lupe ears.

Chapter 3: Lisha, who can't be that old, SUDDENLY remembers that she lost her brother while playing Hide and Seek. It just slipped her mind until now. But I guess she just has a poor memory because she can't remember how to count backwards either.

Chapter 4: Lisha and her friends decide to go to the ancient ruins of Meridell to find her long-lost brother. Probably to ask him how a Yellow Aisha and a Blue Lupe managed to be brother and sister. She waves her pretend wand and POOF! Not only does she zap her Quiggle friend back in time, she zaps herself and her two other friends who aren't even anywhere near her at the time.

Chapter 5: King Skarl summons his greatest, strongest knight to the throne room. He has a big problem that he needs to work out. It's probably why the knight is called "Sir Borodere" in the painting and is called "Jeran" now. Meanwhile, a Draik guard does a double-take. That's because the other Draik guard walks off to the right and reappears on the left. So he decides to throw the four kids in the dungeon until they come up with a good explanation.

Chapter 6: On the way to the dungeon, three creatures even stranger than a Quiggle wearing Blue Lupe ears, crash through the window and beat up the Draik guards because they said a really incredibly dumb thing like, "Halt! Who goes there?". Lisha then uses her pretend wand to zap one monster while her Zafara friend dressed up like Kauvara zaps another monster with a pretend potion. Not be be outdone, the Blumaroo and the Quiggle knock out the last monster. This makes sense because four kids with no real weapons are always stronger than heavily armed Draik guards. The guards are so grateful they take the kids to see the king without even bothering to put the winged demons in the dungeon or tie them up or anything.

Chapter 7: The guards take the kids to King Skarl and Lisha explains everything to him. At this point, Jeran, the brave Knight, SUDDENLY remembers that when he was a kid he was playing Hide and Seek with his sister Lisha. He tripped over a stick, went back in time and landed in the highest tower of Meridell Castle. Sounds reasonable to me. That happens to me all the time. Durn sticks. Somebody should pick them up because they're a real hazard. Anyway, now that Jeran and Lisha have been finally reunited after all these years, they totally ignore each other. That PROVES they are brother and sister.

Chapter 8: King Skarl launches into a brief history of Meridell. There was disease, famine, starvation and patches on everyone's clothes. And for some odd reason no one was happy about this. So the king sent out some of his knights to find help. Luckily for them, an old Green Kyrii with bad teeth just HAPPENED to know where they could find a mystical orb that would magically make everything really really nice again. No one knows where the knights found it, but they brought it back and POOF! Everyone was healthy, the fields were green, everyone was well-fed and there were patches on everyone's clothes. Okay, so three out of four ain't bad. So King Skarl's theory is that the winged demons have come to steal the golden orb, which not only floats, but looks like someone scrawled their geometry homework on it.

Chapter 9: There are no words in this chapter so I'll just describe what happens. A cross-eyed Red Ixi eats a flower and suddenly a shadow covers the entire land. Large plants that look like octopus arms with spikes pop up. The Ixi does a dance and gallops away. Not to be outdone, the plants start to dance too. I'm not sure, but I think they're doing the Macarena. End of chapter.

So there you have it. The entire history so far of the cause of the war between Meridell and Darigan. Now you get to pick which side you get to be on! To help you make your decision, I will now attempt to explain both sides of the dispute in a fair and impartial manner.

Reasons to Join the Meridell Side
When you go to Meridell Castle, the first thing you read is this: To the South of Meridell lies the castle of King Skarl, king of the whole of Meridell. Skarl wisely rules the land, with the help of his top knights and peasant militia. Notice that King Skarl is described as being wise. No one has ever been described as being wise AND evil. Or as being wise and a mean, greedy thief. Wise is GOOD.

We have just read nine chapters of this story. Okay, so we read eight and watched one. But the hero of this story is a brave, dashing, noble knight named Jeran. Except in the second chapter where he's called Sir Borodere, but that's not the point. Lisha is good. Jeran is good. And they're both on the side of Meridell. That sounds good to me.

We just GOT Meridell. We waited forever for a new world to finally come and now we're supposed to sit back and watch it sink into oblivion like Maraqua? I don't think so.

Meridell is being attacked by a evil citadel floating in the sky. Note the word "evil" in front of the word "citadel". And no decent lord would have a citadel instead of a castle, anyway.

King Skarl didn't technically steal anything. The knights came back with the orb. And they didn't even know about it until a Green Zafara with yellow teeth told them about it. If Lord Darigan should attack anyone, he should send out all his hideous minions to beat HER up.

What do you think the Darigans do with their garbage? They dump it out of their cloud citadel and it's been raining scab cake crust on Meridell for two days. Eww. Yuck.

Reasons to Join the OTHER Side
Lord Darigan calls King Skarl a liar, a betrayer and a thief. Just because someone SAYS something like that doesn't mean it's true, but it makes it SOUND like Darigan could possibly, remotely have a tiny unimportant reason to attack.

The bad guys look pretty cool.

If floating castles in the sky were a bad thing, then I think we should be terribly afraid of the faeries.

Nobody likes the bad guys so no one is joining their side. If you want to be a rebel, this is the side to choose. I joined the Army of Meridell because I got caught up in the Peasant Militia Mob and I didn't want to look bad in front of all those villagers by leaping over to the other side. Especially when leaping over to the other side means leaping about 500 feet straight up. Okay, okay. So I'm a sheep. BAAA BAAA. You happy now? What can I say? I don't like heights and I can't see me using a ladder every time I need to talk to my boss...

So the question is: should you join the wonderful, gallant, courageous citizens of Meridell or the nasty, vile, ugly beasts of Darigan? The choice is yours. Don't let me influence you in the least. Like I said, I'm completely neutral.

GO MERIDELL!

Week 68 Related Links

Different Perspective
Judging that I was a safe distance from the battle, I took a a healing potion from the pack I was carrying and poured it into Sunyears' open mouth.

by ember188


Ten Reasons to Attack Meridell
Written by a very proud member of the Darigan army.

by cloudizme


Meridell or Darigan?
I'm here to investigate both sides of the story.

by thegreatlupelover


The Price of Prosperity
But what happens when the war is over?

by wotan_anubis


Broken Glass: Part Two
Once I'm finished I will say an incantation and she will make her final transformation. The whole thing is harmless.

by averyangryshaylir


Saving Meridell
Who's in it for the glory?

by klailana



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