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Neopia's Fill in the Blank News Source | 16th day of Awakening, Yr 22
The Neopian Times Week 62 > Articles > Hidden Tower Reviews

Hidden Tower Reviews

by aachewwthree

I'M NOT TELLING - In my previous article I discussed retired weapons from the Hidden Tower. This time, I am writing about a few artifacts in the Hidden Tower at this very second. This week, I am covering eight Hidden Tower artifacts. These will include: Asparachucks, Asparagus Dagger, Baby Paint Brush, Bagguss Bomb, Bent Fork, Cardboard Sprout Cannon, Carrotblade, and Crystal Boomerang. I will put some info about each one along with comments from a few Neopians. Then I will place my thoughts and a verdict. The rating is like your report cards. A through F.

Asparachucks: Hidden Tower Artifact #1 is Asparachucks. Asparachucks were added on the fateful day on September 27th. Not too many people know how much the weapon works seeing as it is relatively new. To tell you the truth, about all I knew of it was that they cost 8 Million NP. I spent a while asking around the chatrooms, but I found skateboarderz. He told me this: "They do 10 Earth Icons and 4 Physical." Three other Battledome enthusiasts agree that Asparachucks do a constant 14 icons. I got this comment from teh _best on the item: "It's good, but I'd go with Meuka's Snot Trail instead."

Aacheww's Line: In my opinion this items is horrible for its price. I like the idea of doing 14 icons with one weapon, but not when I have to fork over 8,000,000 NP.

Verdict: D-

Asparagus Dagger: Item #2 on the list is the Asparagus Dagger. The dagger is a multiple use battle item. The price is 2,300,000 NP. The item does 5 icons basic plus and random extra physical. It defends 3 Darkness. Per aquaking17, "Heh... you might as well buy a lost desert dagger... this is way too expensive for the amount of damage it does..."

Aacheww's Line: Ugh... why they put this the Hidden Tower is beyond me. An Improved Lightning Beam does the same minus 2 darkness icons defended. It kills me that this costs 2.3 Million NP.

Verdict: F

Baby Paint Brush: The Baby PB isn't a Battledome weapon but it can turn back the clock on your pet. More specifically, turning you pet into a baby. Originally, the Baby PB was in the Hidden Tower for 300,000 NP. To this day, it is the cheapest item in the Hidden Tower at 200,000 NP.

Aacheww's Line: Being a user of the Baby PB... I like it. It can be a great new look for your pet. Also, if you have a pet who wants to be the centre of everything, painting it baby will be a smart idea.

Verdict: C+ (useless if your pets aren't compatible with it)

Bagguss Bomb: The fourth artifact we'll review is the Bagguss Bomb. If you've noticed, two of the last three items were about vegetables. It seems that Neopets wants to turn the Battledome in to a giant food fight. Anyway the Bagguss Bomb costs 1,750,000 NP whilst doing a minimum 3 Earth icons, 2 Fire icons, and a physical. The BB also randomly can tack on up to 2 more physical icons. Unfortunately, the BB can only be used once per battle. Per bobbykhaw: "Utterly useless!!! I do not know why the Faerie Queen put it there in the first place, an Illusens Earth Potion can beat it out-class while a Honey Potion can trash it hands down."

Aacheww's Line: Man, is Adam in love with these deadly food weapons? The Bagguss Bomb I would never buy. I can do the same amount of damage with a Purple Blob Potion, which costs 10-20 NP to the Bagguss Bomb's 1.75 Million.

Verdict: F

Bent Fork: We go from battling with food, to battling with utensils. What's next? Are we going to start using the dinner table too? The Bent Fork destroys all Forks/Tridents for the battle. Those weapons include: Attack Fork, Koi Trident, Flotsam Trident, Plastic Halloween Fork, Koi Warrior Battle Fork Trident of Common Power, Trident of Poseidon, and the Trident of Chiazilla. The Bent Fork costs 346,500 NP at the present moment. However, several claim to have seen Bent Forks on the Trading Post for 1/3 to ½ price! Per spcc_2d_mark: "With the decline of the Attack Fork, this weapon becomes useless. It's not worth buying anymore."

Aacheww's Line: My word, why am I even bothering to do this? Very few people use Forks and Tridents to begin with. The only good thing about this weapon is that you can take out almost half of Chiazilla's arsenal right off the bat.

Verdict: D-

Cardboard Sprout Cannon: Man, ANOTHER food weapon? Oh wait, these sprouts are cardboard. That's COMPLETELY different. Anyway the CSC is in the Hidden Tower at the price of 3,960,000 NP. A normal shot does 3-4 Earth icons and 1-3 Physical. A Bullseye has a 10:1 chance of occurring and does 10 Earth icons and 1-8 Physical. The Super Bullseye shot has a 50:1 chance of happening and does 20 Earth icons and 1-21 physical. Per shroomstar: "Don't be fooled by all the icons, it takes almost a miracle to get a Super Bullseye Shot, and then when you do get it, it can be mostly blocked out by a Soul Stone....definitely not worth the money...."

Aacheww's Line: Hmm... I love the fact that I can do up to 41 icons with this, if that was constant I would do anything for one of these. Unfortunately, the CSC will do as low as 4 icons. The randomness involved in the attack of the Sprout Cannon kills its grade.

Verdict: C-

Carrotblade: The Carrotblade. What in the name of Neopia is going on here?! So far I've reviewed Asparagus Nun chucks, a Dagger made of Asparagus, a paint brush that makes babies, a fork that bends tridents, and cannons that shoots cardboard cabbage. Now a sword made from carrots?! Oi, yi, yi, I'm going to need counseling after this is said and done. Any who, the Carrotblade does 12-21 Earth icons for 8 Million NP. Per archknight: "Earth damage is really easy to block...especially when people out there equip a Soul Stone or Shovels to block Honey Potions. They can block this off too. However, this weapon is nonetheless powerful."

Aacheww's Line: 12-21 icons are awesome, but here in lay the problem. Seeing as all of the icons are Earth, a Soul Stone owns the Carrotblade.

Verdict: B-

Crystal Boomerang: The last weapon of the first installment, the Crystal Boomerang. Finally, an item that the planning behind isn't totally insane. The Crystal Boomerang costs 891,000 NP. The CB does 2 Air icons and 1-2 Physical. Now before you think to yourself, "Why the heck is this is the tower?!" listen to the effect. The Crystal Boomerang May steal one of opponent's weapons! Wait, the Boomerang can shatter however, from what I've heard this weapon should NEVER be used more than 2-3 times per battle. Per gunz_eng: "Breakable? Yes, it's breakable. Can it break when you use it during your first turn? Yes, although it's rare. Should I buy it then? Absolutely not!"

Aacheww's Line: While many people say this item is worthless, I like to say Oh, Contraire! This is great as you deal damage while having a shot at robbing your opponent. Yes, it can break. All that you do is just use is sparingly. I wouldn't mind shelling out 891,000 for this.

Verdict: B+

There you have it! 8 HT artifacts explained and judged. Recapping what the scores were: Asparachucks, D-. Asparagus Dagger: F. Baby Paint Brush: C+. Bagguss Bomb: F. Bent Fork: D-. Cardboard Sprout Cannon: C-. Carrotblade: B-. Crystal Boomerang: B+.

Next time I'll review 8 more artifacts. Those will include: Earth Faerie Leaves, Enchanted Kiko Squeeze Toy, Everlasting Apple, Faerie Acorns, Faerie Fog, Faerie Queen Doll, Fake von Roo Fangs, and the Fire and Ice Blade.

Until next time this is the man, the sneeze pun signing off. Remember, save up for those Hidden Tower Artifacts, they aren't out of reach if you set goals.

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