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Neopia's Fill in the Blank News Source | 5th day of Eating, Yr 22
The Neopian Times Week 62 > Articles > The Evil Neopet Interviews: Commander Garoo - Part One

The Evil Neopet Interviews: Commander Garoo - Part One

by bluescorchio104

VIRTUPETS SPACE STATION - After learning of the existence of a mean-spirited, evil, Blumaroo with a bad attitude (If you don't know I'm talking about, you obviously didn't read the title. Go on, read it) from a small, green, wrinkly Grundo, I visited the Gallery of Evil to find out more about this cruel Blumaroo. Discovering that Garoo was in hiding, I decided (in a moment of patriotism to Neopia) to lure Garoo out of hiding, try to weasel some information out of him concerning his master's (Dr. Sloth's, that is) future plans for Neopia-wide domination, which I could then relay to the Tyrannian War Council or something, and be hailed as a hero.

Of course, I wasn't quite prepared to totally risk my neck for the well-being of Neopia, so as a precaution I packed my Green Backpack with supplies and a few small weapons, and persuaded my Neopet, Bluefire104, (who wanted to accompany me) to equip a few weapons of mass destruction in case of any mild conflict or brutal war. I decided to start off my search for Garoo in the Virtupets Space Station. (Where else to find a minion of Dr. Sloth?) I scoured the Space Station, while trying to avoid the various Mutant Grundos, who wandered the corridors aimlessly, mercilessly whacking anyone who got in their way. More than once I saw a poor innocent Grundo flattened by a Mutant. After completing my third exhausting search of the Space Station, I flopped down, completely exhausted, on the metal floor leaning against a wall. Bluefire104 leaned against the wall nearby, panting heavily from his efforts to find the elusive Commander Garoo.

I took a can of Neocola from my Green Backpack, drained it in one gulp, and rested the empty can on the floor. As the can touched the ground, the wall behind Bluefire104 and me abruptly flipped around, depositing us on the other side of the wall. After getting up and examining the wall, I came to the conclusion that the metal can must have completed some hidden circuit, acting as a simple switch, and therefore activating the wall. After helping Bluefire104 to his feet, I started walking down the hall, assuming I had reached the hiding place of Garoo. I strode confidently down the spotless and pristine passage, towards the single door at its end. I reached the door, and found to my surprise, there was no doorknob or handle of any kind. I tried in vain to grip the edges, but the door stubbornly refused to budge. I pondered my situation, then slipped off my Green Backpack, fumbling for a Sticky Snowball. I found one, them smashed it against the door, giving me a weak grip. I tried the door again, but it still refused to move. I tried to get a hold using everything in my Backpack, from a Sticky Hand to a half-melted Lollypop. I decided that despite losing the advantage of surprise, I had better take some more drastic measures. I called over Bluefire104, and asked him to give the door a blast of fire. He did so, but the door remained unscathed.

Cursing the inventor of fireproof doors, I then searched through my Green Backpack again, coming up with two Mutant Gauntlets. I slipped them onto Bluefire104's paws, and asked him the try to get a hold on the door. In a loud screech of metal, the gauntlets dug deep into the metal, crumpling the door like tin foil. In a burst of strength, Bluefire104 wrenched the door off its hinges, revealing a huge room beyond. I stepped cautiously into the cavernous room, my confidence completely gone. To my relief, the room contained nothing more than some Iron furniture and a small door on the opposite wall.

The room resembled the inside of perfect half dome, except for the walls, seemed to be slightly dented in some places, and somewhat melted spots. I assumed that the room must be Garoo's lounge room, (man, did he have eccentric taste!) and quickly crossed to the new door. I noticed that instead of the door swinging, it seemed to be designed to slide sideways. Like the previous door, it had no visible handle. I gritted my teeth, and tried to get a grip on the door. Immediately, a blaring siren sounded, deafening Bluefire104 and me. A section of the floor opened up, revealing only blackness below. As I peered into the square hole, I noticed a rapidly rising platform below, supporting a large, metallic figure, standing perfectly motionless. As the figure got closer, I recognised it as none other than the Robo Grarrl. I backed away from the hole swiftly, and relayed the bad news to Bluefire104. He quickly started preparing himself for battle, securing his Scorchio Armour, Scorchio Horn Guard, Scorchio Wing Guards and Scorchio Helmet. He stood just a few metres from the edge of the hole, poised for battle, positioned in a hostile stance with smoke rising from his nostrils, and his Attack Fork clutched with both paws, held dead level and pointed straight ahead.

As the Robo Grarrl began to appear, I gasped, and for the first time, realised just how big and nasty he was. He was more than twice Bluefire104's size, and for a second I came close to losing hope. However, my faith in Bluefire104 prevailed, and I stood near the unopened door, where Bluefire104 had urged me to stay. As the platform carrying the Robo Grarrl reached level with the floor, the Robo Grarrl snapped out of his motionless trance, and gave a tinny grunt. He suddenly charged at Bluefire104, who quickly dodged and soared into the air, making the most of the high ceiling. The Robo Grarrl, gave another metallic grunt, and fired up his thruster engines, propelling him high into the air. He drew level with Bluefire104, and zoomed forward, trying to bite off a chunk of Bluefire104's head. Bluefire104 ducked, and was only clipped on the top of the skull by the bottom of the Robo Grarrls jaws, a blow easily sustained by the Scorchio Helmet. Bluefire104 took the opportunity to jab at the Robo Grarrl's legs with his Attack Fork. To his surprise, one of the trident's points snapped off upon contact.

The Robo Grarrl tried to take yet another chomp of Bluefire104, this time completely mistiming the move, resulting in him instead head butting Bluefire104 in the chest. The Scorchio armour took most of the damage, but Bluefire104 was left slightly winded. The Robo Grarrl drew himself up, shaking his head slightly. Bluefire104 took advantage of the Robo Grarrl's unguarded moment to blast a fireball at his assailant's steel belly. The fireball left a patch of the Robo Grarrl's belly slightly melted, and the surrounding metal charred. Bluefire104 then zoomed off to the other side of the room. The Robo Grarrl, seemingly unperturbed by the damage, fired off a few shots from his inbuilt Goo Blaster, but the disgusting blobs fell short, plummeting through the air to splat messily upon the metal floor. The Robo Grarrl, seemingly somewhat annoyed that his manoeuvre had almost no effect, launched the large missile on his back, which sped off once released, leaving a trail of white smoke behind it. The missile headed straight for Bluefire104, who hurled his damaged Attack Fork directly at it, exploding the missile's warhead while it was still some distance away.

The charred, smoking and twisted Attack Fork fell to the floor, landing not too far away from the globs of goo from the Robo Grarrl's Goo Blaster. In a fit of desperation, I started hurling Exploding Snowballs at the Robo Grarrl from my position down on the ground, in the hope that I could help win the battle. My first few snowballs missed completely, but eventually one struck home, opening up the half-melted patch on the Robo Grarrl's belly, revealing a complex jumble of wires and circuit boards. The Robo Grarrl roared once more, and rocketed towards Bluefire104. Bluefire104 quickly went into a steep dive, and swooped down to me so I could toss him his Staff of the Earth Faerie. Bluefire104 caught it neatly, and landed on the floor with a metallic clang. Aiming upwards, Bluefire104 fired three tiny, barely visible, seeds directly at the Robo Grarrl. Upon impact with the Robo Grarrl, the seeds instantly blossomed; releasing twisting vines that quickly engulfed the metal Grarrl. The Robo Grarrl roared in anger, and attempted to snap the vines with his razor-sharp claws, but the vines had already pinned his arms to his sides, and his mouth tightly shut, leaving him to struggle helplessly. The vines soon found their way into the thruster engines, cutting off the flow of fuel, and causing the Robo Grarrl to plummet to the ground. He landed heavily with a humungous crash, making a considerable dent in the metal floor. As the Robo Grarrl lay there helplessly, almost completely covered by a the sheer amount of entangling vines, Bluefire104 approached and gently rolled him over onto his back, exposing his vine covered belly, which already had a large opening in it, due to damage the fireball and the Exploding Snowballs had inflicted.

After donning the two Mutant Gauntlets yet again, Bluefire104 stared deep into the Robo Grarrl's belly, at the sophisticated mess of circuits, wires and transistors. The Robo Grarrl, who was still struggling like a mad snake, gave loud grunts and snorts. Carefully, Bluefire104 inserted both paws into the belly of the Robo Grarrl, delved inside the mechanical mess, pushing aside intrusive vines, and withdrew a single black wire, which had circuit boards and various components still attached. Holding the wire cautiously, Bluefire104 took the Golden Butterknife I handed him, and severed the wire. Immediately, the Robo Grarrl stopped struggling, and all movement left his body. When I warily prodded the Robo Grarrl's metallic arm through the tangle of vines, there was not the faintest response. Not bothering to take off his armour, for a while Bluefire104 observed the deadly enemy he had reduced to no more than a pile of junk. Then, as one, Bluefire104 and I turned, and headed straight for the unopened door. With the help of the ever-useful Mutant Gauntlets and a few jabs from the Scorchio Horn, Bluefire104 opened the door with no trouble at all. Inside, as I expected, was Commander Garoo himself, reclining in a curiously shaped chair, which reminded me of an elongated egg.

"Commander Garoo, I demand an interview," I said in the boldest voice I could manage.

Staring creepily into my eyes, Commander Garoo replied, "Certainly."

And that finishes part one of "The Evil Neopet Interviews: Commander Garoo". If you want to find out what happens next, tune in next week, for 'The Evil Neopet Interviews - Commander Garoo part 2'!


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