UNI CENTRAL - Yay! Eyrie Day is here... erm, is gone at last and if
you happened to have one (an Eyrie, you dullard), you were one lucky son of
a Neopian. Along with the fifty eight million or so other pets, I wasn't so
fortunate--I am a Uni owner. Ack! Who threw that tomato? I'll report you!
Anyway, I was one sad sap, along with my very depressed Uni, with nothing
to do but watch Neopia's
eighth most poopular pet get all the attention and more. Yes, yes, every
dog has its day but with all the Transmogrification and regular potions skimming
around, Mou (My_only_uni)
and I could have shared an eyrie bone or three, or at least got some free training
from the one and only pet in all of Neopia with a hollow wooden leg. But nothing.
Zip. Nada. Zilch. Nothing for Unis on Eyrie Day! What's the deal? There had
to be a catch. Besides, Eyrie couldn't remember that last time it was Uni Day.
I tried a few things before desperation set in like a wretched case of the
Neezles. I turned my monitor off and then back on. Nope--Mou was still a Uni.
I closed my eyes and opened them really quick a number of times. Mou still
had a horn coming out of her head but she had green and blue spots all over
her. Ugh, my eyes!
I snapped my fingers three times, spun around in my chair like a giddy ballerina.
I held my breath, made a few phone calls, prepared a snack, filed my nails,
cleaned the dirt from my mouse and it WORKED!!!
Mou was... still a... Uni. Typical me. Typical Mou.
Then I did what any Neopian would do in a situation like this: I e-mailed support
and told them I "accidentally" created a Uni when I really meant to
create an Eyrie. I got no response. Typical. Then it hit me like a ton of fish--The
Wishing Well. Where wishes come true and where some pets fall in and are never
to be seen again.
I had an idea.
I went to the well
and did the obvious. I stuck my head in and yelled, "Eyrieeeeeeelly like
YOU!" No, really... I wrote a blank cheque out to Penelope the Wadjet trainer
and dropped in a few meat stars, a meaty pot pie, a meat wrap and HUGE piece
of meat cake. I have no clue as to why I did this but my Mou always says, "Any
meat is better than a blunderpuss and/or a bowl full of marzipan!" Pffft...
this Eyrie Day was turning out to be one of those days where you try to subsitute
a really long grouping of words in a zippy little metaphor that illustrates
how you exactly feel but is open to other interpretations. Yes, it was one of
those days... don't you think?
So I waited and waited until "Something has happened!" and I thought
to myself, "Self, there is someone listening and who cares that it took
three hours but 'Something has happened!' and it's happening to me... and Mou,
of course... and there's plenty of time left to partake in this Eyrie Day...."
|| Dr. Sloth appears
and hands you a Cybunny Transmogrification Potion and says your Uni will
never be an Eyrie!!!
Then, like a scaly slap... no, it was more like a leathery slap in the face...
no, a cold wind up your pant leg on an even colder day... anyhow, I came about
this close (diagram not available) to turning Mou into a Cybunny... but Cybunny
Carnival is in the month of Eating and not worth it at all.
"Firgures," I say to Mou, "but don't worry, I'll never turn
you into a... *sigh* bunny." I put the potion in my shop and, about 18,000
NP later, I did a cartwheel and screamed out, "Erm, thanks Eyrie Day?!?!"
After about an hour or three of plotting against Penelope and her Wadjets,
I thought of another plan, a plan that would make me a part of Eyrie Day for
sure. A very cunning plan, involving an eyrie statue, velvet eyrie cloak and
one of those blackberry eyrie cookies. But just when I was about to reveal my
plan to Mou I was authentically greeted by a... I can't even say it... a g-g-h-o-s...
nope. I was greeted by [starts with a "g", rhymes with "toast"]
and, instead of taking my usuki uni lover set or my collection of burnt sausages,
he took my only plan and shook my hand. Yeah, nice doing business with you,
ol' boy. Back to square one.
||A Ghost takes your plan from you and puts it on the Money Tree
for others to laugh at!
Mou was a bit shaken from the ghost incident and was even more upset that nothing
was working out, so I recommended that she write her feelings down in her journal.
She wanted to be a part of Eyrie Day so bad that she had a little tingly feeling
inside, a similar feeling one gets when they witness a Lupe spending a penny (lifting its leg) on
some poor... oh, I'll spare you that one. Anyhow, Mou said it would be okay
to share part of her journal with you:
there's nothing wrong with a pet having its own day, but c'mon, what's
a day that doesn't have anything to do with ME--a Uni? Say it: Uni Day.
It just rolls right off your tongue, doesn't it? You knee daaaaaay! SAY
IT! Uni Day is the most beautiful day in Neopia. It never rains on Uni
Day... well, it does. My beauty actually reigns all over Neopia. I'm sorry
but Uni Day is uni-versal, therefore it should be every day.
am I so pretty? That's a dumb question. I think I'll spend the rest of
the day begging ghostpoop to brush me.
I weep the beautiful weep of a Uni with a dream that Neopia does not share...
Uni Day 365 days a year.
I lost my rain water shampoo, again.
Well, none of my plans worked, but I made some NP off of Eyrie Day, Mou spent
some quality alone time with herself, writing in her journal, and I even had
time to write a little poem.
is a Uni to Do When it's NOT Uni Day?
how it feels
its teeth and
Penelope some rancid old meat
Oh, will we make it to the month of Running? Rather, WHEN will it be the month
of Running already? I've got an idea: We should start planning a huge party
for the second of Running. My Uni will bring all things that reflect
her beauty and you can bring her one of those island paint brushes and some
uni shampoo. See you then.
I hope everyone had a very happy Eyrie Day. I really mean it... "OUCH
If you've got the time, please drop me a line, especially if you've got a question, comment, or just want to tell Mou how pretty she is.