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Neopia's Fill in the Blank News Source | 16th day of Celebrating, Yr 21
The Neopian Times Week 61 > Articles > Eyrie Can't Remember the Last Time

Eyrie Can't Remember the Last Time

by ghostpoop

UNI CENTRAL - Yay! Eyrie Day is here... erm, is gone at last and if you happened to have one (an Eyrie, you dullard), you were one lucky son of a Neopian. Along with the fifty eight million or so other pets, I wasn't so fortunate--I am a Uni owner. Ack! Who threw that tomato? I'll report you!

Anyway, I was one sad sap, along with my very depressed Uni, with nothing to do but watch Neopia's eighth most poopular pet get all the attention and more. Yes, yes, every dog has its day but with all the Transmogrification and regular potions skimming around, Mou (My_only_uni) and I could have shared an eyrie bone or three, or at least got some free training from the one and only pet in all of Neopia with a hollow wooden leg. But nothing. Zip. Nada. Zilch. Nothing for Unis on Eyrie Day! What's the deal? There had to be a catch. Besides, Eyrie couldn't remember that last time it was Uni Day.

I tried a few things before desperation set in like a wretched case of the Neezles. I turned my monitor off and then back on. Nope--Mou was still a Uni.

I closed my eyes and opened them really quick a number of times. Mou still had a horn coming out of her head but she had green and blue spots all over her. Ugh, my eyes!

I snapped my fingers three times, spun around in my chair like a giddy ballerina. I held my breath, made a few phone calls, prepared a snack, filed my nails, cleaned the dirt from my mouse and it WORKED!!!

Mou was... still a... Uni. Typical me. Typical Mou.

Then I did what any Neopian would do in a situation like this: I e-mailed support and told them I "accidentally" created a Uni when I really meant to create an Eyrie. I got no response. Typical. Then it hit me like a ton of fish--The Wishing Well. Where wishes come true and where some pets fall in and are never to be seen again.

I had an idea.

I went to the well and did the obvious. I stuck my head in and yelled, "Eyrieeeeeeelly like YOU!" No, really... I wrote a blank cheque out to Penelope the Wadjet trainer and dropped in a few meat stars, a meaty pot pie, a meat wrap and HUGE piece of meat cake. I have no clue as to why I did this but my Mou always says, "Any meat is better than a blunderpuss and/or a bowl full of marzipan!" Pffft... this Eyrie Day was turning out to be one of those days where you try to subsitute a really long grouping of words in a zippy little metaphor that illustrates how you exactly feel but is open to other interpretations. Yes, it was one of those days... don't you think?

So I waited and waited until "Something has happened!" and I thought to myself, "Self, there is someone listening and who cares that it took three hours but 'Something has happened!' and it's happening to me... and Mou, of course... and there's plenty of time left to partake in this Eyrie Day...."

Something has happened!
Dr. Sloth appears and hands you a Cybunny Transmogrification Potion and says your Uni will never be an Eyrie!!!

Then, like a scaly slap... no, it was more like a leathery slap in the face... no, a cold wind up your pant leg on an even colder day... anyhow, I came about this close (diagram not available) to turning Mou into a Cybunny... but Cybunny Carnival is in the month of Eating and not worth it at all.

"Firgures," I say to Mou, "but don't worry, I'll never turn you into a... *sigh* bunny." I put the potion in my shop and, about 18,000 NP later, I did a cartwheel and screamed out, "Erm, thanks Eyrie Day?!?!"

After about an hour or three of plotting against Penelope and her Wadjets, I thought of another plan, a plan that would make me a part of Eyrie Day for sure. A very cunning plan, involving an eyrie statue, velvet eyrie cloak and one of those blackberry eyrie cookies. But just when I was about to reveal my plan to Mou I was authentically greeted by a... I can't even say it... a g-g-h-o-s... nope. I was greeted by [starts with a "g", rhymes with "toast"] and, instead of taking my usuki uni lover set or my collection of burnt sausages, he took my only plan and shook my hand. Yeah, nice doing business with you, ol' boy. Back to square one.

Something has happened!
A Ghost takes your plan from you and puts it on the Money Tree for others to laugh at!

Mou was a bit shaken from the ghost incident and was even more upset that nothing was working out, so I recommended that she write her feelings down in her journal. She wanted to be a part of Eyrie Day so bad that she had a little tingly feeling inside, a similar feeling one gets when they witness a Lupe spending a penny (lifting its leg) on some poor... oh, I'll spare you that one. Anyhow, Mou said it would be okay to share part of her journal with you:

10 Collecting Y4

Dear Diary,

Look, there's nothing wrong with a pet having its own day, but c'mon, what's a day that doesn't have anything to do with ME--a Uni? Say it: Uni Day. It just rolls right off your tongue, doesn't it? You knee daaaaaay! SAY IT! Uni Day is the most beautiful day in Neopia. It never rains on Uni Day... well, it does. My beauty actually reigns all over Neopia. I'm sorry but Uni Day is uni-versal, therefore it should be every day.

Why am I so pretty? That's a dumb question. I think I'll spend the rest of the day begging ghostpoop to brush me.

- Mou-prettier-than-you (GET IT?)

PS - I weep the beautiful weep of a Uni with a dream that Neopia does not share... Uni Day 365 days a year.

PS - I lost my rain water shampoo, again.

Well, none of my plans worked, but I made some NP off of Eyrie Day, Mou spent some quality alone time with herself, writing in her journal, and I even had time to write a little poem.

               What is a Uni to Do When it's NOT Uni Day?

               Learn to share
               Brush its hair

               Click its heels
               See how it feels

               Eat a Kau
               Study the Tao

               Read a book
               Learn to cook

               Make some friends
               Start a trend:

               Floss its teeth and
               Send Penelope some rancid old meat

Oh, will we make it to the month of Running? Rather, WHEN will it be the month of Running already? I've got an idea: We should start planning a huge party for the second of Running. My Uni will bring all things that reflect her beauty and you can bring her one of those island paint brushes and some uni shampoo. See you then.

I hope everyone had a very happy Eyrie Day. I really mean it... "OUCH MOU!"

If you've got the time, please drop me a line, especially if you've got a question, comment, or just want to tell Mou how pretty she is.

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