LENNY LIBRARY - Hello there, Achilles81,
your friendly neighbourhood cloud Gelert here. Tired of being known as just
the reader in the family while my owner Tdyans racks up all the golden quills,
I've decided to take my first stab at writing an article. And, of course, I'll
be recording the process here in my trusty journal for the sake of posterity.
I even know just what the subject of my article will be already, since it's
something that I hear Tdyans and her NT-crazy guild members complaining about
quite often. Yes, the title of my article will be: "Achilles81 on Overcoming
Writer's Block!" Now, if I could just figure out what to write...
Day 1: Still uncertain of just how to begin writing my article, I decided
today that perhaps I should begin the process by gathering some outside opinions
and advice. Thus, I headed down to the Deep Catacombs of the Art Centre, where
I knew I could find some creatures skilled at coming up with ideas on a moment's
notice--the Aishas around the Storytelling Competition Campfire. When I told
them the topic of my article, however, I received a somewhat... mixed... reaction
that went something like this:
Green Aisha: Overcoming writer's block? Oh, that's easy! Just go for
a walk and let the ideas come to you from everything you see around you, man.
Rainbow Aisha: (laughing) Don't be silly! Everyone knows that the best
way to get over writer's block is to read through the Neopedia and Trading Cards--
Green Aisha: No it's not!
Red Aisha: (haughtily) Of course it's not. Any writer worth her salt
gets her ideas from the News Page, not those other places. That's where all
the latest things that people want to read about are--
Rainbow Aisha: Bah, everybody writes about those things!
Achilles81: Excuse me, but could you guys speak a little more slowly?
I'm trying to write this down--
Red Aisha: Oh, be quiet! Can't you see we're trying to have an intellectual
discussion here?
Striped Aisha: (yawning) Doesn't matter either way, because the truly
best way to come up with good ideas is to sleep on it. All of my best ideas
come to me when I'm lying in bed about to fall asleep--
Red Aisha: (shouting) That's ridiculous; you just want an excuse to
sleep more, lazybones!
The Aishas continued to argue back and forth, becoming more and more angry
until finally they were all just standing in a circle hissing at each other
with their hackles raised--not a Gelert's favourite sight. So, I took the opportunity
to get out of there while I could, disappointed that there hadn't been one straight,
easy answer, but satisfied that at least I had some possibilities to explore
in overcoming my writing difficulties...
Day 2: The first method on the "list" that I'd gotten from the Campfire
Aishas was taking a walk, so bright and early this morning I set out to do just
that. As I walked through the warm Neopian sunshine, watching the buzzes flying
about and listening to the Beekadoodles singing in the trees, I found that the
green Aisha had been right! This relaxing walk and all of the different things
that I was seeing, smelling, hearing, and feeling were causing all sorts of
great ideas to come to me. The perfect words for my article were all flowing
into my mind one by one until I had the whole thing nearly written out in my
head--and let me tell you, it was an absolute masterpiece!
Unfortunately, I was so caught up in the amazing article that was coming together
in my head that my attention toward my surroundings began to wane until suddenly
I tripped on a snoozing stray Ganuthor and went sprawling to the pavement--head first. When the blackness cleared a few minutes, or hours, later--I'm
still not sure--I found a few concerned neighbours hovering over me and all
of my beautiful ideas vanished into thin air. I started back home with a headache
and my writer's block, the two of which are becoming increasingly less distinguishable
from each other...
Day 3: Not to be deterred after just one failure, today I returned to
the list of suggestions I received, and next on the list was: browsing through
Neopedia articles and Trading Cards. Despite the door-to-door sales-Skeith's
insistence that it would have a lasting effect on young Moeioe
and Rooruon's
futures, MaxKanine and I declined the rather pricey Neopedia offer we received
last month. Now that I've been informed of how useful it can be, perhaps I'll
change my mind next time around. In the mean time, I was able to snatch a fairly
inexpensive copy of "Know Your Collectable Cards" off the shelf of the bookstore
before the Wocky with eyebrows and Nimmo in a donkey suit who were also aiming
for it. Those Neopian shops have really become madhouses.
Skimming through the various trading card descriptions, one name caught my
eye: Alstaf Poogle. This was it! Excitedly, I headed back down to the Deep Catacombs,
keeping a wide berth between myself and the Campfire Aishas who were still tossing
each other occasional dirty looks--and making my way over to the Poetry Contest
area. Surely an interview with the famous Neopian poet and author of "Scorchio
and Jubjubette," would make my article a success. But alas, poor Achilles--well, I'll let you read the transcription of our conversation and find out for
yourself:
Achilles81: Excuse me, Mr. Poogle--
Alstaf: Not now, not now! Can't you see that I'm busy judging this week's
Poetry Contest, you silly Gelert? (Staring at a sheet of paper before crumpling
it up and tossing it over his shoulder with a sigh.) I do wish that people would
stop rhyming "Poogle" with "poodle"...
Achilles81: I'm sorry to interrupt you, sir, but I was just wondering
if I could interview you for my article--
Alstaf: No, no, I'm sorry, my dear boy, but I've got no time for any
more interviews throughout Hiding and Gathering. I'm all booked up! (Chuckling.)
Oh, did you hear that--all "booked" up, that's rather funny. Do you get it?
My, my, I should write that one down. (Pulling out a quill and a sheet of paper.)
Achilles81: (Walking away and grumbling) Glad I could help you
come up with something...
Unfortunately, Alstaf, having already forgotten about me, chose that moment
to throw another rejected poem over his shoulder, and it hit me smack dab in
the middle of the forehead--which wouldn't have been a problem if the poet
hadn't been from Tyrannia. Man, those guys really need to learn to stop using
rocks for everything. By the time I recovered, I found myself buried
under a pile of crumpled up pieces of paper, through which I could hear Alstaf
still muttering about poodles and laughing to himself about being "booked"...
Day 4: Today it was on to the excitement of the News Page. I consoled
myself that at least this method seemed relatively safe and would not involve
any pompous Poogle poets. Nothing in the news seemed to have all that much to
do with writer's block unfortunately, but I thought that perhaps I could find
some way to creatively incorporate these "hot topics" into my article, since
they are indeed what everyone seems to want to read about nowadays. Maybe I
could come up with an interesting simile or two comparing my subject and these
more popular ones that would really catch my readers' attentions.
Scrolling through all of the newest things that Neopets had to offer, my eye
caught on one particularly strange entry. "Sewage Surfer?" Curious, I decided
to try out this new game. As strange as it seemed as I sat there helping Matt
the Wocky connect the various sewer pipes, I thought that perhaps this game
could provide me with the perfect simile for my article. "Writer's Block...
is like a blocked pipe... in Sewage Surfer," I mentally recorded as I continued
playing. "And just as frustrating," I growled. Despite my annoyance with the
game itself though, I thought my simile was shaping up pretty nicely--that
is until suddenly I lost the game. As I watched the slimy, disgusting green
sewage fill the screen, I turned a similar shade of green and fainted on the
spot. When I awoke and pulled myself up off of the floor, still feeling a bit
queasy, I covered my eyes with one paw and blindly reached out with the other
to turn the game off, wondering just what I'd been thinking. Who would want
to compare anything to that?...
Day 5: It's past midnight here, but I've just climbed out of bed because
as I was lying there staring at the ceiling and letting my thoughts wander,
the perfect idea finally struck me like a lightning bolt! I know just how to
write my article now--the words are all right there inside my head waiting
to be written down. I really must hurry up and write them out here though before
I lose them or fall back to sleep...
Day 6: Well, it's daylight here now and I just woke up to find my journal
covered in drool. I guess I did fall asleep before I managed to write
down my brilliant ideas. And, of course, now they're gone. You'd think that
something so brilliant would stick with you through at least a few hours and
a little bedhead, wouldn't you? Well, I guess not. And now I've come to the
bottom of my list and still don't have anything written or have a single clue
where to start on "Achilles81 on Overcoming Writer's Block." Perhaps I ought
to give repeatedly banging my head against the wall a try...
Day 7: Well, today is the day that the new issue of The Neopian Times
comes out and I still haven't managed to write one word. I've got a lump on
my head, a new aversion to Poogles, bad mental images of a certain game that
shall remain unnamed, I'm still sleepy, and my brothers are beginning to look
at me as if they're considering checking me into the place where they keep that
Scorchio who runs the Lab Ray, but still no article. I guess that thanks to
my own writer's block the Neopian world may never get to see "Achilles81 on
Overcoming Writer's Block." Oh well, perhaps I'd have more success if I aimed
for "Achilles81 on Overcoming Consciousness" instead...
***
Hello there, Tdyans, your friendly neighbourhood whatever I am... here. I happened
to come across Achilles81's drool-encrusted journal today, and after reading
about his frustration, I helpfully pointed out to him that he had already written
a perfectly good article, quite by accident. Of course, we had to slightly alter
his planned title since he didn't really manage to "overcome" his writer's block,
but hopefully his methods will work better for you. Good luck! | 
