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Neopia's Fill in the Blank News Source | 16th day of Relaxing, Yr 21
The Neopian Times Week 52 > Articles > Petpets: A Growing Delicacy?

Petpets: A Growing Delicacy?

by jade_dragon_faerie

VIRTUPETS SPACE STATION - I am a loyal citizen of Neopia, and have two Petpets for (of course) my two Neopets. So when I first heard of Balthazar's new meals, I was shocked and totally grossed out.

"Spirit! Claire! Look at this!" I pointed out an article to my Gelert and Lupe. "That crazy faerie-hunting Lupe is eating Petpets!"

"What is he thinking?!" Claire exclaimed. "Petpets are so… innocent!" Her Cirrus, Purity, cooed in agreement.

"Tell that to Dark Star," muttered Spirit, head between his paws as his Gruslen chewed on the sofa.

"Either way," I decided. "This is totally absurd! Petpets are meant to be loved and cared for. Let's be glad Balthazar is the only one who does this."

After this conversation, I was pleased to find out a lot of articles about eating Petpets were released. Many theories were hatched, mostly about how Balthazar was keeping the Petpets in his stomach and would sell them later on.

"I still say he eats them." A doubtful Neopet said loudly after reading some articles. "Samrin himself said Balthazar got a gleam in his eye after 'accidentally' swallowing a Petpet when trying to steal some." Great, another good point.

But now a new terror for Petpets! Florg the Mutant Chia! The issue with Balthazar has already been stressed enough, but this Chia is definitely, no doubt eating Petpets. And I have decided to find out why.

"What do ya mean your going after that Chia?!" Spirit yelled over the chaos of Dark Star ripping another chair to pieces. "No way are you going to survive! He might eat you!"

"Spirit!" I rolled my eyes at my frantic Gelert. He could be so protective. "This is for the good of the general public! Besides, he only eats Petpets-"

"So they say," Spirit interrupted. "I'm coming with you." And so the adventure began. On the way, I purchased a Collectable Card telling a little about the hungry Chia."

"Let's see," I scanned the card. "'Yet another result of Dr. Sloth's evil experiments Florg has developed a penchant for Petpets and will search the Space Station tirelessly until he finds some'."

Spirit shuddered. "Sloth's hand is in this again. So how did Florg escape? And where can we find him?"

"Duh, Spirit..." I grinned. "Put it all together. If Florg is obsessed with Petpets…where would he be?"

"Oh." Spirit nodded. "To the Petpet store!"

The sound reached us before we reached it.

"Eek! Get away from that Warf!" A yellow Usul was hitting a giant Mutant Chia with her purse.

"You no have pretty Kadoaties or yummy Hassees?" The Chia's head drooped sadly. "But Florg so hungry…Oh well, furry Angelpuss will do." The Usul shrieked and hit the green head harder.

"Uh... Mr. Florg?" I gingerly poked the Mutant Chia's slimy back.

"Yes? What do you want Girl Human Bean?" The Chia blinked his large eyes at me.

"He called you a bean," Spirit whispered. "He's referring you as food. That's not good."

Unfortunately, the Usul was still screaming, and Spirit was loudly whispering, so it was kind of hard to concentrate.

"I was wondering if I could have a word with you, for The Neopian Times," I shouted. Florg's greasy brow wrinkled.

"Why does Girl Human Bean think Florg would want this."

"Because, uh…" I stammered. "You want to let the public know why you' re doing this. So, uh, they understand and, uh, not say bad stuff about you."

"Human Beans saying Bad Stuff about me?" The giant Chia growled. "Florg eat all their Petpets!"

"No, I mean so they won't, you know, in the future!"

"Okay," the Chia complied happily.

The interview begins, and mind you, I cut out all the parts where the Usul is screaming and whacking. (She hit me a couple of times too)

Me: Why do you like Petpets?

Florg: Because they crunchy and yummy.

Me: But do you think it's okay to eat them?

Florg: (narrows eyes) But you Human Beans eat spotty cows and fatty pigs. Why I not eat Petpets?

Spirit: Don't you think its wrong, since Petpets are created to be loved, not eaten?

Florg: Then you Human Beans saying Cows and Chickens are created to just be eaten? They's could be pets.

Me: Uh... OK. Now, what do you think about Balthazar?

Florg: (snarls) He bad! Eat all Petpets!

Spirit: (puzzled) But you eat Petpets!

Florg: But me buy them. Me no steal.

Me: Oh, all right then. But here, another issue: You eat Petpets whole. I, for one, only eat meat when its, uh, already dead.

Florg: (stumped) Oh.

Me: Well, how did you become this way?

Florg: (angry) Sloth! He no nice. He mean. He made Florg be only able to eat Petpets. Florg no like him.

Spirit: So how'd you escape?

Florg: (grins) Me threaten to eat him.

Me: Hah hah... oh, ahem. Anyway, how do you think about the world, in the future, eating Petpets as a daily meal?

Florg: (sadly) Petpets pretty. Florg only eat them to survive. Florg hopes world won't forever eat Petpets, but leaves them all for Florg.

Spirit: Oookay.... Now.

So Florg may not be a bad Chia, but the problem of eating Petpets still rises. At first people were shocked to find Balthazar eating Petpets. Will we still be dazed if something like this happens in the future? I hope it doesn't, but I also hope that if it does, we still think it's a big of a trouble as we do now.

Hey! My Neopian name is Jade_Dragon_Faerie and my Neopets are Babey_Claire and Soul_Mist_Spirit. Neomail me about this article anytime.

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