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Neopia's Fill in the Blank News Source | 24th day of Hunting, Yr 21
The Neopian Times Week 52 > Short Stories > Laughter is the Best Medicine

Laughter is the Best Medicine

by battlesunn

Slammy slithered stealthily up the doorframe, precariously shifting his weight to keep a better hold on the pot of mushy musho peas. Slammy cringed as a tiny drop of greenish slime slid from the jar and hit the floor with a dull thud. He froze, swinging slowly as he hung from the top of the door. He stayed completely still for about five minutes, and when he heard no sound, he continued. Slammy grinned as he carefully balanced the jar, half on the slightly open door and half on the sturdy frame. The jar tilted dangerously and Slammy quickly dashed back and held it in place. At last, everything was perfectly poised and ready, and Slammy could return to his bungalow. (Slammy's pet name for the pound cages) He jumped down and landed, Kougralike, on the floor. With a quick whip of his long red tail, Slammy was back in his cage, (Bungalow) and watching the booby trapped door gleefully.

     Slammy, the young red Techo, stayed up all night watching the door. There was no way that Slammy, the practical joke king of the pound, was going to miss his handiwork in action. At last the sun's rays slanted down through the patched roof of the pound and sent shafts of light spread down on the floor, signaling morning time--and feeding time. Sleepy pound pets were awakening throughout the building, yawning and rubbing their eyes. Ready for another day, which could very well be their last day there. All eyes turned to Slammy, who's unwavering fascination with the door obviously meant that another joke was in progress. Heavy, slow footfalls could be heard outside of the heavily watched door, everyone held their breath as Dr_Death, the infamous warden of the pound, opened the door and felt eight cans of moldy, mushy peas falling down on his head. The pound exploded with laughter, normally depressed adoptees were rollicking and rolling around on the floor, clutching their sides and howling with glee at the sheer sight of seeing Dr_Death, standing in the centre of the room, grinding his teeth and clenching his claws as little bits of slimy peas slid down his face and onto the floor.

     Dr_Death reached up and wiped some of the green mush out of his frazzled gray hair before turning swiftly on his heel and leaving the room. As soon as he reached the main office, Dr_Death's associate, a pink Uni called Rose, took one look at Dr_Death and burst out laughing, just as the pets had. Rose snorted and stomped her hoof on her desk, as Uni's will when they are experiencing complete and utter joy. Dr_Death scowled sourly.

     "I was hoping that at least you would have some sympathy for me." He grumbled.

     Rose just chuckled in reply.

     "Would you quit laughing at me and grab me a towel?"

     Rose shut her mouth, and nodded. She reached under the desk and grabbed a towel, trying to hold in her laughter, but when she laid eyes on Dr_Death it all came out again. Dr_Death, feeling quite bitter, snatched the towel from Rose's hooves. At last she gained control of herself and resumed her usual smile.

     "So what happened Doc? Did you trip or something while carrying the pet's breakfast?"

     He slid into his chair and shook his head. "No, the door was fixed, and I'd be willing to bet next week's salary that it was that horrible little Techo, Slammy."

     Rose shrugged. "Well, you know that it's probably good for those pets to get a good laugh now and then."

     Dr_Death sighed. "Yeah, but why does it always have to be at my expense? I'd personally like to see your hair covered in that horrible slime!"

     That remark only set Rose off once again. Dr_Death muttered something under his breath, and went on to filing some papers. It was going to be a long day.


"So Slammy, how'd you get all those peas?"

     After his latest joke, Slammy had become something of a celebrity. Right now he was at the centre of a crowd of excitable pets, all wanting to question his greatness.

     "Well Dagger, I just had to sacrifice my lunch for a few days, but nothing's too much for my adoring public!"

     "Oh... Slammy, how did you get the jar on the door?" Asked Sally, a yellow Aisha.

     "Pure balance, my friend. Now if you'll excuse me, I think I'll go have some dinner and hit the sack."

     "Just one more question Slammy, can we expect another joke tomorrow?" Dagger the blue Skeith asked eagerly.

     "Probably, I'll just have to see what I can rig up."

     With that, Slammy rushed over to his bungalow, and picked at his dinner, three day old wheat flakes, washed down with a diet neocola. Slammy lay down on his little bunch of straw that served as a bed and regarded his tattered old plushie.

     "Ah Renard, what have I gotten myself into?" He asked, staring at his plushie. Renard the plushie offered no answer. "I mean, I know that I'm important here, that's for sure. These poor guys need me, but what would happen if I was adopted or something?" The plushie stared blandly forward. Slammy narrowed his eyes. "Oh you're no help!" He spat, kicking the plushie across his cage. Slammy stared out the chicken wire cage door, pushing those unpleasant thoughts from his mind. He had more important things to think about such as another prank for tomorrow.


Dr_Death slitted his eyes as he stared critically at the door--the same door that had released a bucket of slop on his head only a few days before. He had inspected every square inch of the door, searching for traps. Now, he had to conduct the final test, he had to poke the door with a stick. He grabbed a long, Kau prod, used only in very extreme cases. With this, he gently pushed the door open, expecting to see another jar of something or other falling down to the floor. There was none. Dr_Death grinned. There was no hideous joke waiting for him this time! He sauntered egocentrically into the large room filled to the brim with adoptable pets. He took another step forward, an unfortunate mistake.

     As soon as Dr_Death's foot touched the cleverly disguised wire, his fate was sealed. The pull on the wire caused an attached plate to hit the ground, which fell on a mini catapult, which shot a small ball straight a bag of chia flour, which created a hole in the bag of chia flour, which all dumped of Dr_Death's head. As soon as it touched, the transformation began. Soon Dr_Death was a very angry looking yellow chia. His shoulders shaking with rage, Dr_Death waddled out of the room, headed to the magic shop. As soon as he was gone, all of the pets in the pound began howling with laughter at Slammy fabulous joke. Even more humiliating for Dr_Death, Slammy had managed to capture the moment with Rose's instant camera, the picture showed Dr_Death, halfway through his transformation, so he still had the head of a Techo but the body of a chia.

     Just then, Rose popped her head in the room, "Hey everyone! A bunch of potential owners are coming in! So try to look your best!"

     Everyone scampered back to their cages and fluffed out their fur, practising cute looks on each other. Slammy simply relaxed, he didn't really want to be adopted, so why waste the effort? A bunch of humans came into the pet room, eagerly picking out new pets. Slammy watched happily as Sally the Aisha was adopted by a rich lady, who smiled at her and said something about a faerie paint brush. Slammy was still watching Sally's receeding form when a young boy came up and said to Rose, "I'll take this Techo"

     Slammy jumped up and looked fearfully at the boy. Rose grinned and began opening his door.

     "Oh, you won't be disappointed sir! This Techo is a fine specimen!"

     Slammy stayed rooted to the spot.

     "Come on mister Techo, hurry up!"

     Slammy took a deep breath. "I can't, I'm sorry. I have to stay, these pets need me. I can't go with you."

     The boy shrugged. "Whatever. Hey, I think I'll take this Skeith..."

     Rose smiled all over and winked at Slammy, then went rushing around to help some more adopters.


Dr_Death was in a foul mood when he returned form the magic shop, he had gotten the potion that he needed, but it had set him back a couple thousand Neopoints. He stomped into the office, and glared at Rose.

     "What are you so happy about?"

     Rose grinned. "Remember that red Techo, the one that was always playing jokes on you?"


     "Well, a boy cam in today and said that he wanted to adopt him!"

     Dr_Death's moody face broke into a smile. "Really? Really? This is so great! I can't believe it! This is the best day of my lif--"

     "But he said no! Little Slammy decided to stay! He said that the pets here needed him! Isn't that sweet?"

     But her words were wasted. Dr_Death had fainted dead away.

The End

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