Main Page Go to Short Stories Go back to Articles Go to Comics Go to Continued Series Go to Editorial Go to New Series

Show All | Week 1 | Week 2 | Week 3 | Week 4 | Week 5 | Week 6 | Week 7 | Week 8 | Week 9 | Week 10 | Week 11 | Week 12 | Week 13 | Week 14 | Week 15 | Week 16 | Week 17 | Week 18 | Week 19 | Week 20 | Week 21 | Week 22 | Week 23 | Week 24 | Week 25 | Week 26 | Week 27 | Week 28 | Week 29 | Week 30 | Week 31 | Week 32 | Week 33 | Week 34 | Week 35 | Week 36 | Week 37 | Week 38 | Week 39 | Week 40 | Week 41 | Week 42 | Week 43 | Week 44 | Week 45 | Week 46 | Week 47 | Week 48 | Week 49 | Week 50 | Week 51 | Week 52 | Week 53 | Week 54 | Week 55 | Week 56 | Week 57 | Week 58 | Week 59 | Week 60 | Week 61 | Week 62 | Week 63 | Week 64 | Week 65 | Week 66 | Week 67 | Week 68 | Week 69 | Week 70 | Week 71 | Week 72 | Week 73 | Week 74 | Week 75 | Week 76 | Week 77 | Week 78 | Week 79 | Week 80 | Week 81 | Week 82 | Week 83 | Week 84 | Week 85 | Week 86 | Week 87 | Week 88 | Week 89 | Week 90 | Week 91 | Week 92 | Week 93 | Week 94 | Week 95 | Week 96 | Week 97 | Week 98 | Week 99 | Week 100 | Week 101 | Week 102 | Week 103 | Week 104 | Week 105 | Week 106 | Week 107 | Week 108 | Week 109 | Week 110 | Week 111 | Week 112 | Week 113 | Week 114 | Week 115 | Week 116 | Week 117 | Week 118 | Week 119 | Week 120 | Week 121 | Week 122 | Week 123 | Week 124 | Week 125 | Week 126 | Week 127 | Week 128 | Week 129 | Week 130 | Week 131 | Week 132 | Week 133 | Week 134 | Week 135 | Week 136 | Week 137 | Week 138 | Week 139 | Week 140 | Week 141 | Week 142 | Week 143 | Week 144 | Week 145 | Week 146 | Week 147 | Week 148 | Week 149

Neopia's Fill in the Blank News Source | 22nd day of Hunting, Yr 21
The Neopian Times Week 51 > Articles > The Evil Neopets Interviews: Count von Roo

The Evil Neopets Interviews: Count von Roo

by bluescorchio104

HAUNTED WOODS - I've finally realised the amount of evil beings there are in Neopia. In particular, I've realised that some of those malicious creatures are Neopets. So, like the curious, courageous, and partly stupid reporter I am, I decided that maybe I should investigate further, and maybe do an interview or two. This led to me risking my neck, getting the socks scared off me, and nearly having a heart attack, as I slowly, bit by bit, put together and wrote this series, 'The Evil Neopet Interviews'. So, in this edition of The Evil Neopet Interviews, be prepared to find all about that fanged Dracula impersonator, Count von Roo.

After many inquiries and painstaking research, I found out absolutely nothing about this blood-sucking Blumaroo. Of, course, I then visited the Gallery of Evil, which provided some background information, but wasn't too helpful in revealing his whereabouts. So, I was forced to mingle with some shady characters in some not-exactly-legal guilds in the Haunted Woods. But, still, I had very little success in finding his location. Eventually, I was forced to scour the Haunted Woods (not a pleasant task, I can tell you) for clues. I finally found him hanging around the Battledome. Literally hanging. To be exact, he was suspended, upside down, from the branch of a withered tree. He was also licking some deep-red liquid smears (which looked suspiciously like blood) off his lips, which, understandably, made me ever so slightly nervous. In fact, I was trembling worse than a Jubjub with pneumonia in a super-ultra-hyper massage chair. Gathering up my courage (which had shattered and was lying on the ground in tiny pieces), I bravely approached Count von Roo. It was purely coincidence that I was pushing my Scorchio, Bluefire104, ahead of me. I stuttered a greeting, and asked for an interview. Count von Roo bared his fangs (a most charming sight) and agreed.

Bluescorchio104: So, sucked any blood lately?

Count von Roo: I feasted well mere minutes ago, mortal.

Bluescorchio104: Um, that was supposed to be a kinda joke….. Anyway, do you have any current plans for world domination?

Count von Roo: No. I, unlike many other warlords, am content to wait. I am prepared to wait aeons till my plans come to fruition.

Bluescorchio104: So I shouldn't be worried about you dominating the world during my lifetime, right?

Count von Roo: That is so.

Bluescorchio104: That's a relief. I've always wondered, why haven't I seen any other vampire Neopets around?

Count von Roo: I am prepared to trade that information for sustenance.

Bluescorchio104: Sustenance? What do you mean? (Realises he wants blood) Ohh, I see. Well, luckily, I always happen to carry a bottle of it around. (Hands jug containing red liquid to Count von Roo)

Count von Roo: Mmmmm. Many gracious thanks.

Bluefire104: (Whispers) Hey, Bluescorchio104, why did you give him the Fire Jug you bought from Kauvara this morning?

Bluescorchio104: (Whispers) Shhh, be quiet, and don't tell Count von Roo that.

Count von Roo: Mortal, did my esteemed ears hear you say something?

Bluescorchio104: No, don't you worry about it. So, answer my question: why haven't I seen any other vampires around?

Count von Roo: They are all currently residing in my castle.

Bluescorchio104: Wait a minute. Just how many vampires are there? And you have a castle?

Count von Roo: Yes, I do in fact have a castle. And there approximately one million three thousand vampires at my disposal. Fortunately for you, they are all hibernating till my time to seize power comes.

Bluescorchio104: Holy Kau! One million three thousand vampires! Why are they hibernating?

Count von Roo: I desire them to be hungry when they wake up. For when they wake, they shall feast like never before!!!!!!

Bluescorchio104: Hey, your castle must be pretty big to house one million three thousand vampires. Where is it?

Count von Roo: It's positioned in the Haunted Woods, but no mere bottle of fresh blood is worth me revealing it's precise location.

Bluescorchio104: One last question. Are those teeth fake? You see, they kinda look like dentures, you know, the kind my grandma has?

Count von Roo: How dare you display such insolence! I will not dignify that with a reply.

Bluescorchio104: Aren't you afraid that I'm going to go tell everyone about your castle, dentures and evil plans?

Count von Roo: They are not dentures! And you see, I don't intend to let you do tell anyone anything. Prepare to become one of my vampire minions!!!!!!!!

Bluescorchio104: Eeeeeeeeeeeekkkkkkkkkkkkk!!!!! Bluefire104, time for plan B! Plan B!

Bluefire104: Plan what? Plan C? Plan T? Plan V?

Bluescorchio104: PLAN B!!!!!!!

With this last statement, I turned tail and ran, pausing only to grab Bluefire104's arm and whip him around, dragging him along with me. Just like we planned, Bluefire104 whipped out a few wooden stakes (actually a few modified Captain Threelegs Training Swords), a small sack full of garlic (in reality Chia Wort Root from the Health Food Store) and tossed me a bottle of holy water (well, technically it was just a Bottle of Water blessed by Fyora the Faerie Queen). In two simultaneous movements, I jumped onto Bluefire104's back, while Bluefire104 tossed a few garlic bulbs in his mouth and crunched them between his teeth. As Bluefire104 took off, he looked back and released a huge jet of flame smelling strongly of garlic, while I tossed the holy water as hard as I could at Count von Roo. After we had sailed to a safe altitude above the vampire, Blufire104 dropped the wooden stakes, which sliced through the air down to earth. Convinced we were safe, (I mean, if the garlic, fire or holy water didn't kill Count von Roo, surely one of the stakes would of got him) Bluefire104 and I winged our way back home.

But later that day, I had a very nasty feeling that someone was watching me. Someone with a red and black cloak, pointed fangs and a thirst for blood.

Week 51 Related Links

Terrors of the Potato Counter
Ugh, that stinks.

by kerd2006



Search :
Other Stories

Beginning Battledomer? No Problem!
I recommend a fire mask. It has uses light and fire attacks, defends against water and fire, and costs only 350 NP.

by ylong04


Collectable Cards: Underestimated?
I can probably find a user right now that has a few Collectable Cards probably just wasting away.

by epk


The Ideal Neopia: On Donating
I'm here to instruct you not on how to make NP, but how to give them away.

by sol_luna_estrella


Forgotten Shopkeepers... The Tyrannian Food Shopkeeper
May laughed as we read our fourth article in the Neopian Times...

by moonandsun211


Neopets | Main | Articles | Editorial
Short Stories | Comics | New Series | Continued Series | Search