The Jubjub Speaks on Target by druidgetafix |  |
NEOPIA CENTRAL - Read "The
Jubjub Speaks on Neomailing a Writer" for information on the Jubjub
mentioned. This week, he will talk to you about targets when writing articles,
which may also be applied to short stories or continued stories or (edited away
to save hard disk space.)
"So what target are you talking about?" Wrong question. WAKE UP!!! There exists
more than one type of target, so no using the singular tense. Let's use an easy-to-read
format so that you can find this article, well, easy to read! Whatever.
(For curious regulars who still Neomailed me about the Dead End, from "Beyond
a Newbie: Medication for Addicts", in spite of my telling you not to
do so, it is the fissure in the ground of the Ice Caves. This subject is closed.
The End. Oops, I mean proceed with your reading.)
Target #1: Audience
One day, in a world far, far away from Neopia (more commonly known as Earth),
you log on to NeoPets and check out the New Features. AH! The latest issue of
The Neopian Times has just been released. Since you're such a fan of the Times,
you click on the blue hyperlink (actually, it turns old by the time you reach
it, hover over any link on this page and see), and continue on to the Articles
section. There's one about some shopkeeper, probably a detailed write-up. Ergh!
What pops up is a story that ought to belong in the Obvious-to-the-Reader-but-Not-to-the-Writer
section.
Many readers, myself included, have been appalled by the use of conversations
or speculations without backup proof in articles. (e.g. Jhudora is an evil Faerie
whom I destroyeded by bonking her on the head with an Apple when she tried to
poison me. Right. What's next, boys and girls? Kidnap episodes?)
Target #2: Yourself
You write an article about how horribly mean Balthazar is, eating Petpets
and capturing Faeries, earning you The Neopian Times Champion trophy which you've
yearned for in eternities. After doing that you say, "Yuck! At least that's
over," and go back to selling bottled Faeries and play Extreme Herder just to
see the Lupe sadistically eating the hapless Petpets.
Personally, I'd say you don't deserve the golden feather. The articles you
write should reflect on your thoughts and feelings, instead of being a hypocrite
to earn respect and a few Neomails. Shame on you. No matter what you're writing,
whether in or out of Neopia, always remember to speak from the heart. (So ends
the mushiest statement the Druid shall ever utter in the next few years.)
Target #3: The Back Room
You insert endless humor into your first article. Using chat room abbreviations
would sure be able to reach out to the masses and captivate them! They'll revere
you as the greatest writer ever lived. As if. For one thing, your piece of work
is never going to make it past the drawing board.
Although the idea of writing a text that other Neopians may love a lot is appealing,
there still is a stage in between that you will need to pass, and that is the
board of Neopian Times editors, consisting of, if I recall correctly, several
fire breathing Draiks, one waterproof Koi, eight spotted Acaras with glasses
and eleven Elephantes hardly doing the limbo. Proper grammar, structured sentences
and faultless spelling sure helps in getting your article into the Times. Okay,
so I see someone mouthing that I am sounding like a nagging grandmother, but
I assure you, I am male. (What do you mean, GRANDFATHER?)
So there you go. The three essential targets you MUST take into consideration
when writing an article. They aren't written in order of importance, because
each is of the same worth as the next. Anyway, next week (or maybe next month,
I am super busy), I will appear with an article on how to, well, do not want
to keep any of our hopes high. If you have any queries, feel free to Neomail
me. Ta-ta for now, see you soon! |
