ONCE, IN THE wide wide world of Neopia, there lived a little light faerie named
Starlight. Now Starlight was very young, and as with all young girls, be they
faerie or Kougra or human, her heart was given to flights of fancy. Her latest
craze was that Handsome Devil, Mr. Shankley. She had a life-sized poster of
him on her wall, which she sighed dreamily at from the moment she woke up on
her faerie cloud, until the moment she kissed it before going to bed at night.
Her friends all tried to snap
her out of it. Edina, the Earth Faerie, was kind and gave her a space faerie
plushie to hug. But Starlight only hugged her plushie tightly, and dreamed about
the day she'd meet Mr. Shankley in person, and discover all his great mysteries
(such as, did he really have a first name? And what sort hair gel did he use
to keep his pompadour pomped?). Devine, the Dark Faerie, was a bit more vicious
in her solution to the crush. She rolled up The Neopian Times (issue 3), and
applied it liberally to Starlight's head. "Snap out of it, girlfriend!" she
said with a grumble. "Mr. Shankley is going to be signing autographs down at
the Golden Dubloon today. Why don't you just go see him?"
Starlight sighed happily,
and fixed her rather flattened hair, picking a few stray articles and a clause
that had fallen from the paper out of its light-coloured strands. Finally, her
dream would come true, and she'd meet her hero! She rolled up her life-sized
poster, tucked it carefully under her arm, and marched straight off her cloud--and
then remembered gravity. Fortunately, she also remembered she had wings, so
she fluttered on down towards Neopia below, carrying her prized poster carefully
The Golden Dubloon was frightfully
hard to get into, and poor little Starlight was reduced to sneaking in behind
a rather large Skeith. Her diminutive size was easily hidden by the Skeith's
rather large posterior. Sure enough, a sign proudly proclaimed, "Mr. Shankley
is here today!" and far up ahead of her in a great long line, she could just
make out the top of his elegantly styled hair.
The line was moving incredibly
slow, however, and Starlight soon grew impatient. She started edging her way
past the Skeith, and a lovestruck Acara, a human or two (Humans! Why would Mr.
Shankley ever like one of those?!), and a fat Pteri with a little autograph
book tucked under her wing. She was almost to the front, but one thing stood
in her way. One very, very large thing. A red Grarrl with a Sloth-face, and
bad breath, was leaning down over the table, and causing poor Mr. Shankley to
gasp for air. "But you have to sign my autograph!" she snarled.
"Yes... well... um... my pen.
It's out of ink!" Mr. Shankley gasped, trying to get out of the situation without
passing out from the odour. Starlight fluttered towards the counter, carrying
her poster, trying to make her way around the Grarrl
"I've got a purple pen!" the
fat Pteri behind the Grarrl chirped, cheerfully awaiting her turn.
"Give me that!" the Grarrl
snapped, and made a grab for it. Unfortunately, the Pteri was so far down that
the Grarrl didn't see what she was grabbing, and snatched poor Starlight right
up instead, handing her over to Mr. Shankley.
"Eeee!" Starlight cried, both
from the terror of nearly being crushed by a Grarrl, and the excitement of being
picked up by Mr. Shankley. Her excitement was short-lived, however, as Mr. Shankley
promptly tipped her downward, and tried to use her as a writing instrument to
sign the Grarrl's paper. "Who would have thought? I didn't know purple pens
came in yellow!" he commented.
"I... am... not... a pen!"
she cried, and kicked up some faerie dust to tickle Mr. Shankley's nose, that
he might let her go and stop trying to grind her head into the paper.
"Accchoooo!" sneezed Mr. Shankley,
letting her go.
"Bless you!" cried Starlight,
without thinking. "Ooops..."
Mr. Shankley glowed bright
yellow for a moment. "Thanks, little faerie." He stood up, grinned his Handsome
Devil grin, and gave off a mighty flash of light. While everyone shielded their
eyes, he escaped from the treacherous situation, and buggered off entirely from
the Golden Dubloon. Astonished voices from the crowd gasped and muttered:
"Where'd he go?"
"But... I've been waiting
in line for an hour..."
Starlight sat down on the
counter, shaking out her wings with wonder. She'd just blessed Mr. Shankley
with the ability of Flash. But now she had one more mystery to add to her wonder
about the enigmatic Mr. Shankley... who had given him Magic Torch first?
Note: The Neopian Times would like to make sure
that everyone in Neopia knows how to spell Mister Shankly. It's quite important,
and helpful in social situations. That's "Shankly"... Mister to you.