AL DROOLED OVER the Mask of Coltzan in the display case of the Shop on 233
Thyassa Road, his face a perfect picture of a child with his nose pressed up
against the toy store window.
"The rarest Lupological item
in the world... it's worth MILLIONS... it would put my Ancient Lupe Historical
Items Collection on the map…"
He turned to inspect it from
a different angle. The mask was a true work of art. Constructed to be put on
Coltzan's face for burial, and made from the purest gold that could possibly
be found in Neopia. Al was simply stunned as it glowed in the dim lighting of
"It's just PERFECT!!"
He looked at the price tag
sitting next to the mask. "And, it only costs… 3,500,000 NP!"
Al dug into his pockets and
pulled out 10,000 Neopoints. He thought back to the last time he went to the
"Hm... looks like I only need
a couple million NP till I can get one!"
Al turned to Fluffy, his blue
Cobrall, who looked as though he was chewing on something. He sighed, shaking
"Well, Fluffy, this shopping
trip was fruitful, in a sense, but…" Al stared longingly at the window. "I REALLY
want that mask. The problem is, I'll never be able to afford it on the funding
that Lupologists get in Furgleton... Hey, what are you eating?" Fluffy shrunk
back, chewing faster and hissing. "Hold on a minute... I SAID HOLD STILL!!"
Al grabbed Fluffy by the tail just as he was about to flee, and held him upside-down,
shaking him like a rattle until about a dozen Magical Faerie Acorns tumbled
from his mouth. "FLUFFY!!" Al shook his blue Cobrall again, and Fluffy coughed
up a wad of stolen gum, plus a swiped chocolate Chia. The stern blue Chia turned
his Cobrall right-side up and grimaced.
"Fluffy, Fluffy, Fluffy...
Haven't the Chia police and me scolded you enough about shoplifting? Remember,
just because the Wadjets do it doesn't mean you have to."
Fluffy whimpered, coughing
up a candied eyeball. "If those delinquent, worthless snakes jumped off a cliff,
would you join them? Plus, I'll have had to pay tons to replace these!" Al put
his Cobrall back on the ground. "Think before you act!"
Fluffy hiccupped, a large
blue bubble blossoming from his mouth. Al reached into Fluffy's mouth and pulled
out a Bubble blaster. Fluffy hiccupped several more times, creating a marvelous
array of tube-shaped bubbles that floated into the air before popping over Al's
glasses. He took off his heavy spectacles and wiped them off on his labcoat.
"Fluffy, Fluffy, Fluffy…"
Suddenly, a pet burst out
of the store, smacking Al onto the sidewalk. He was a short, squat tomato Chia
with a derisive smirk and thick, square glasses. He wore a long, black cape
and carried a white mallard, the very image of a wealthy, snooty, spoiled Chia
Humming slightly, he breezed past Al without even giving the slightest notice
of his existence. Al got up, brushing off his labcoat and looking into the window,
perplexed. The Mask of Coltzan was gone. Al's mouth hung open wide with shock
as he turned to look at the Chia that was about to cross the street. "PHIL!?
YOU BOUGHT THAT MASK!?"
The tomato Chia jumped at
the sound of Al's voice. Slowly, he turned around to face the strange blue Chia
behind him, his black cape waving in the breeze.
"Oh! Al, my dear, dear brother!
What a... pleasant surprise!"
Al hurried over to Phil, gazing
at the Mask in his brother's paws with a dreamy look on his face. "Erm, Phil,
you know how you missed every Christmas since we've moved out of the house?
And my Birthdays, and such…"
Phil clenched his teeth as
he listened to Al ramble. The reason he missed those dates were because he absolutely
hated his brother with every fiber of his juicy, not-quite-a-vegetable, tomato-Chia
being. But he smiled all the same. "Oh, Al, you know that I've been very busy
building my billions of dollars into trillions!" Phil drawled.
Andromeda the white mallard
quacked from his paw, giving a disdainful look to Fluffy. Fluffy hissed a bit,
and a huge bubble blossomed from his mouth. It hovered in the air for a moment
before bursting, spraying Andromeda with water and causing her to squabble loudly.
"Oh, do shut up." Phil murmured.
Al's paw reached out longingly
towards the mask in Phil's other paw as Phil reprimanded his petpet.
"I was wondering... erm...
since you're a billionaire and all... could you possibly?" Phil laughed, a sound
like a donkey crossed with a pig would make. "Well, all right Al!" Al's face
lit up like a torch drenched in ten gallons of gasoline and lit by the fire
faerie on Grundo Independence Day. "REAAAAALLY??!?!?!?!?!?"
"Um, sure…" Phil gave him
a false grin, shoving the mask into Al's hands. "What are brothers for?" He
kept up his false grin. It was obvious (except the obviously oblivious Al) that
he was up to something. Al gave his little brother a great big hug that caused
Andromeda to squabble again. "OH, THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK
"…Anytime…" Phil wheezed.
Al dashed down the street,
putting the mask in a hidden pocket inside his labcoat. "This'll be great!!
I can discover all the magical properties of the Mask's hidden powers, the history
of Coltzan's family…" Al disappeared around a corner, nearly tripping, Fluffy
slithering close behind. Phil's face immediately collapsed into a malicious
grimace. "Finally… All right, the coast is clear!" Mark and Milford, Phil's
two best friends, stepped out of the shop and stood at either side of Phil,
smiling and nodding their heads approvingly. "I DO believe he fell for it, don't
you agree, Mark?"
"Oh, yes, unDOUBTEDLY! He
fell like that old Lupe coot Coltzan did after that wonderful Aisha murdered
him, right Milford?"
"Would you two KINDLY shut
up before someone hears you?"
Phil turned around with a
sweep of his black cape, marching down the street as Mark and Milford hurried
behind him. He scratched Andromeda on the head, his glasses gleaming in the
midday sun. "We've still got a lot of work to do…"
Phil stepped into his luxurious
laboratory, grinning. It had several hired scientists working in desks that
were in rows. As Phil breezed past them, he fired several of the Scientists,
who cursed and left the room shortly after. At the end of those rows of desks,
there was a large conference room, with a long, reflective glass table and a
large digital screen on the luxurious red wall. Mark Cadbury and Milford Canterbury
sat down on either side of the table as Phil took the head of the table, which
had a large, plum coloured armchair. "Well, Phil, I DO believe that we're ready
for phase two!" Milford, the purple Chia simpered, wringing his paws. "Yes,
I agree COMPLETELY!" Mark the green Chia drawled, taking a sip of tea. Phil
pressed a couple buttons, and a birds-eye view of Al's lab appeared on his screen.
The door burst open, and Al walked in. "Now," Phil began.
"This mask is not actually
the Mask of Coltzan, but it is a specialised booby-trap for my dear brother.
If you two can do your job right for a change, Al will try the mask on. But
what he doesn't know is that it is actually a very powerful explosive device
developed by myself…"
Phil stood up and pressed
a large red button. A little box appeared on the screen next to the image of
the Lab, showing a dramatisation of Al exploding. Phil giggled as he watched
it, a grim smirk on his face.
"When I blow up Al, there
will be no one left for my parents to dote over but glorious ME!! It's genius,
I tell you! The perfect way of being the favourite child in the family!"
Milford nodded. "Yes, it's
simply PURE genius!"
"PURE as gold!" Mark added.
"Shut up." Phil snapped.
"Now, I want you two to put
on these black costumes and spy on Al." He handed Milford a red remote control
that had an ominous black button on it. "When Al puts the mask on, press this
button. Do you think you can handle that?"
Milford chuckled. "Why, of
"No one more trustworthy in
the WORLD than US! Don't you agree?" Mark added. Phil sighed. "Go, before you
annoy me further and I'm forced to have you killed…" The two cronies quickly
scrambled out of the room as Phil turned his oversized chair back to the screen.
Al was smiling as he held the mask up into the air, a magnifying glass helping
him examine it. "Soon, my brother, you will be like an exploding pizza pasty,
here today, EXPLODED tomorrow... Moo ha ha ha ha... Wa ha ha ha haa... YAAAAAAA
HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAA HEE HEE HEE HAAAAAAAAAAA!!! AAAAAAH HA HAAAAA…" Phil paused,
coughing loudly. He pushed a call button, massaging his throat. "Greeves!" He
yelled hoarsely. "Bring me a glass of water, on the double!"
The Next Night… Al had fallen
asleep in his lab, still admiring the beautiful mask. It was now resting on
the desk. Al was leaned back in his chair. Snoring loudly with his mouth open,
he kept on muttering in his sleep.
"Coltzan, nice to meet you...
You look great for a guy who's been dead for several months... Can I have your
autograph for Lupological reasons?... ZZZZzzz..."
Soon, Mark and Milford appeared
at Al's window. They peered into the large lab, tutting. "My, my, what a messy
housekeeper Al is…"
"I must agree with you there,
For once, the two Chias were
right. Al's lab WAS a large, unruly mess. Photos of Lupes of all colours, shapes,
and sizes were tacked up on one wall in an unorganised manner, along with hair
samples collected from them placed in tiny plastic Baggies. Al's desk had papers
scattered all over them, with titles like 'Lupe Heart Rates' and 'Lupe Defence
Mechanisms', as well as a large, Lupe-shaped lamp and a computer with a Lupe
screensaver. In the corner, a Chia bot that he received as a Christmas present
sat inanimate, collecting dust. Al never used it. On the far wall, there were
all sorts of crazy Lupological items. Microscopes, DNA testing devices, and
even a petrified ancient Lupe skull rested on the large, unorganised shelves,
as well as many, many boxes filled with wondrous artifacts. Milford nodded to
Mark, and they slowly opened the window.
"All right... I do believe
Al is sleeping…"
"Oh, most certainly he is…"
They tiptoed across the dark
room, slightly frightened by all the Lupe items hanging around the room. Mark
picked up the mask and diddled around with it for a while. "I believe it's all
set, Milford." Mark looked at the large boxes on the shelves, and a sudden curiosity
made him pause. "You know," He began. "I can't help but be the SLIGHTEST bit
curious about what's in those large boxes on the shelves…"
"Well…" Milford looked at
the snoring Lupologist. "I DO suppose since Al is SUCH a heavy sleeper, we COULD
spare a few minutes too... er... poke around…"
Mark and Milford dashed to
the shelves of Lupological Items and began to rip open the boxes. An ancient
Lupe wand, a Lupe suit of armour from medieval times, a withered and dried-up
Lupe paw lying on a red pillow, and several Christmas Lupe jackets stolen from
the home of Hollypaw the Lupe were a few of the items lying on the shelf. Milford
picked up the Lupe Skull, giggling.
"Oh, Mark, looky here! Al's
dug up a Lupe bone! Isn't that just LOVELY?" Mark was busily digging through
a box labeled 'Mystery Island Expedition #333'. "Hey, wait a tic…" Mark pulled
out a heavy-looking stone Lupe head, adorned with beads and feathers. "This
thingy looks like great fun!" He looked at the little tag that was tied around
one of the sculpted fangs. "This is a sacred object of the Puapawtau Lupes of
south Mystery Island." He read aloud. "The Chief of the village had it crafted
for me to protect my home... Huh, wonder how this stupid thing could protect
"Maybe if Al chucked it at
someone REALLY hard…" They both chortled merrily. Suddenly, the statue's eyes
began to glow a deep, angry red. With a vicious snarl, it chomped down onto
Milford's paw. Milford blinked, staring at it with a surprised expression. "Say,
I do believe it's doing its job. Right then, shall I commence panicking?"
"Oh, go right ahead." Mark
"AHHHHH!!!" Milford screeched,
dashing around and screaming at the snarling stone head. He tried desperately
to get it off, slamming the Lupe head against the side of the wall, on Al's
desk, and even once or twice on Mark.
"GET IT OFF!!!"
"Oh, for the love of the Faerie
Queen, just hold still…"
As Mark chased after the screaming
Chia, he bumped the inanimate Chia robot in the corner, both stubbing his two
and turning it on. It sprang to life, zooming over to a box labeled 'Alien Lupe
Artifacts: CAUTION, HAZARDOUS', grabbing it, and turning it's contents all over
the floor as Mark cursed and rubbed his injured toe. Several bizarre contraptions
from the world of King Meerkadoodadhorfadorfapaw the Alien Lupe fell out. A
metal orb with purple spots spun around three times before zooming into the
air and exploding with a burst of light and colour, knocking Milford to the
floor. The statue finally released his paw, and began to hop around the room,
giggling and chattering like a mad Pteri as it knocked over even more boxes.
The bizarre alien items were mostly weapons, and they fired all over the place,
hitting numerous things. One melted the suit of armour as another simply caused
the Lupe skull to turn purple. A ray hit Mark, and he shrunk down to the size
of an attack pea.
Mark screeched as the Lupe
idol began to chase him, licking his stone lips like an Aisha after a Miamouse.
Another ray hit him, and he returned to normal size, but with an extra eye in
the middle of his forehead.
He screeched again, all three
of his eyes wide with terror. The robot Chia began to overturn more and more
boxes with the help of the Lupe idol. Rubber duckies stolen from the Tomb
of Tootin Lupin hurled themselves at the intruding Chias, squeaking
terribly as they pummeled the Chias senseless. Pistols from the paws of Fire
Pawed Griff, the fastest draw in the old Neopian west, shot Milford's hat off
and made both the Chias dance. Faerie Lupe pixie dust mingled with Hollypaw's
old Christmas Coats, and they sprang to life, attacking the Chias viciously
and giving Mark a black eye. Soon, the entire room was in disarray and chaos,
and both Chias were thoroughly regretting their escapade. One particularly hard
knock from the rubber duckies sent the remote control flying from Milford's
pocket and onto Al's desk. Al slept through it all, not noticing as a knife
abducted from Balthazar zoomed past his head and stuck into the wall in front
of him. Suddenly, the door flew open to reveal Fluffy. Confused by all the noise,
he had come down to see what was wrong. He hissed in surprise, waking up his
"Fluffy? What's wrong? Can't
you see I'm working? What do you... OH PIFFLE!" Al screeched, seeing Mark and
Milford lying unconscious on the floor (Mark now with eight eyes and a tail).
He grabbed the ancient Lupe wand, which had been dancing in mid-air, and waved
it. Suddenly, everything flew back into place. The boxes taped themselves shut
with all the items inside and flew back onto their proper places. The suit of
armour rebuilt itself, and the idol leapt into Al's paws, panting and licking
his face. The Chia Bot shut down and flew into the corner, landing with a crash.
Mark returned to normal, his eyes and tail melting away as he moaned. Milford
opened a swollen eye. "Um, Mark…" Al tapped his foot, the wand still in hand.
"I think we've made him a little bit angry, don't you agree?"
"Oh, most certainly, yes…"
Moments Later, Phil's Mansion…
Milford and Mark, the fake
mask of Coltzan shoved onto both their thick heads, stumbled out onto the streets.
"HELP!!! HEEEEELP!!" The Lupe head chased after them, barking loudly and nipping
at their heels and they dashed down the street.
"OH, PIFFLAGE! PIFFLER!! PIFFLITIS!!
Al, humming happily to himself,
pressed the button on the red remote. The mask exploded, and Mark and Milford
shot into the air, smoke streaming behind them, screaming at the top of their
lungs as they zoomed out of sight. Al waved, the Lupe head had jumped safely
into his paw. "Thank you so much for stopping bye! When you go out of orbit,
say hello to Doctor Sloth for me!" Al chuckled as he walked back into his house.
"Gee, it's a shame that mask Phil bought for me was a fake…"
"Well, very clever, Al…" Phil
"It seems as though you have
escaped my grasp this time…"
He shut off his TV screen
with a punch of a button, turning around in his plum chair.
"But we'll see who has the
last laugh, won't we?"
Phil sighed, reclining into
his chair. "Ah, the life of a rich Chia is MUCH too hard on my nerves... I suppose
now I'll have to figure out another way to destroy my brother." And with that,
Phil began to ponder. Pondering on developing the next sinister, diabolical
schemed that would certainly rid the world of his lousy brother and disgusting
petpet Cobrall, as well as all those hideous Lupes he loved so much. As he pondered,
a smile spread across his thin lips. "Yes... I have it... I HAVE IT!!!" He stood
up, his supreme smirk still on his face. "It's ingenious! It's spectacular!
It's the best idea I've ever had in my life!" He turned, grinning.
"But it will have to wait
until the next story... so until then... I bid you farewell... Mwa ha ha ha
haaa... HAAAAA HA HA HAAAA... YAAAAAAAAAHA HAHA HAHAHA HAAAA HA HA HAAAAAA HAAAAAA!!!!"
Phil paused. He stared blankly
"Well, all right, I don't
have any ideas... so sue me... just go away and let me think about it for a