NEOPIA CENTRAL - The news on May 16th stated: "Neoschools are in progress now...
We just have to finish off a rather cool flash game and then Neoschools should
be able to go live, give it a couple of weeks :)" It has been a couple of weeks
and a rather cool flash game in the form of Dubloon Disaster has been finished.
So… what does that mean?
Neoschool is just around the corner!
And what does that mean?
It's time to go Neoschool-shopping
for your NeoPets!
But now every owner will have to answer the questions "what to buy? What will
my pet need?", questions this shopping guide will help owners and their pets
decide.
*All prices are Shop Wizard Prices as of June 30th.
Backpack
The Neoschool teachers, if they are anything like Human Teachers, will not look
kindly upon school supplies being hauled here and there in muddy paws/wings/hands/fins/hooves
or the even muddier pant/skirt/kilt pockets. So, the first thing is to buy your
pet a backpack to carry and organise all of his/her Neoschool supplies in. The
only two backpack in Neopia right now is the Green Backpack (1,300 NP) and the
Disco Aisha Backpack (70,000 NP). This is especially bad news for pets painted
Split or Purple. Imagine… Orange, Purple and Green or Orange, Purple and Pink
together - Major colour clash! So if pets are painted such colours, it is advised
that the owners stop by the clothing shop on their Neoschool-shopping trip and
grab a War Chia Top to prevent the embarrassment of their pets.
Organisers
For pets attending higher grades and thus needing a large assortment of writing
utensils, a pencil case or pencil holder is recommended. There is more choice
in this category with Purple Pencil Case (500 NP), Red Chia Pencil Holder (900
NP), Green Chia Pencil Holder (900 NP), Blue Chia Pencil Holder (2,000 NP) and
Chia Pencil Holder (unbuyable). The Purple Pencil Case is probably the best
buy - stylish yet inexpensive. As well, unlike those plastic pencil holders,
they don't break when pets accidentally shove them off their desks and onto
the floor in their mad dash after the recess bell rings.
A note of caution for Lupe owners: Buying a Chia Pencil Holder, in whatever
colour, is not a good idea. Most Lupes would not be able to resist the urge
to play "stalk the prey" with their pencil holders or even, the urge to maul
the pencil holders into Pieces and Bits of a Chia Pencil Holder. Therefore,
the Purple Pencil Case is the best idea. But if pets happen to be painted Green
then… Three words - War Chia Top!
Writing Utensils
There are six choices in this category, though it is best if pets have both
a pen and a pencil. There are the really economical choices like the Wobbly
Pen (600 NP) and Bendy Yellow Pencil (800 NP), to the stylish like the Funny
Pen (1,000 NP), White Aisha Wobbly Pen (5,000 NP) and Disco Aisha Pen (30,000
NP) to the extremely extravagant Pencil of Nova and Faerie Pencils. If a pet
is whining teary-eyed about not wanting to go to Neoschool, then the Funny Pen
might just be the thing to change its mind. What pet can resist that super-cute,
colourful rocket ship pen? On the flip side, pets may be so distracted by their
cool pen that they forget to pay attention in class. Uh oh… Is that an Owner-Teacher
Interview Slip?
To sharpen the pencils, there are the handy but expensive Aisha Pencil Sharpener
(80,000 NP) and the Chia Pencil Sharpener (unbuyable).
Rulers
There are two choices for rulers and both of them are rather mediocre choices.
There's the Sloth Ruler (600 NP) that will drip slime all over the pets' pretty
books. And then there's the Cheesy Ruler (40,000 NP), which is made with of
real cheese and actually comes with a best-before date. So, it may be a better
idea for them to use the edges of the Stencil Set (2,500 NP) instead. Or even
better, why don't owners just bring their pets to the Haunted Woods, chop down
one of the many trees there and fashion a non-edible, non-dripping ruler out
of it? Owners can even make a day-trip and owner-pet bonding time out of this
venture!
But owners should take care that they don't accidentally cut down the Brain
Tree in their ruler-making quest. He won't be pleased.
Notebooks
It's a must to get your pets one of these, because or else they would have to
do their "2+2"s on their desks. And you know what that can lead to when they
grow bigger? Graffiti! Uh oh… Is that an Owner-Chia Police Interview slip?
There are two alternatives to be had - the Rainbow NeoPets Notebook (6,000
NP) and Scorchy Notebook (2,500 NP). The Scorchy Notebook is most stylish and
perfect for any Fire Pets due to their fiery pattern. Don't worry, fretful owners,
the notebook also comes with a guarantee that promises pets using such a notebook
will not be influenced to be arsonists when they grow up. If an owner can spare
the NP, a Mini Chalk Board (68,000 NP) may be a good investment. While it is
more expensive, it is reusable.
Lunch Box
After a hard morning of studying (or staring out absent-mindedly through the
window), pets may be very hungry. So what about a lunch carried in a very nice
lunchbox? There are three choices - Lupe Warrior Lunchbox (1,200 NP), Sloth
Lunchbox (1,600 NP) and Space Faerie Lunchbox (unbuyable). The Lupe Warrior
Lunchbox is most likely the best choice, since the Space Faerie Lunchbox is
horribly expensive and the Sloth Lunchbox comes with a guarantee promising that
using it will cause pets to aspire to taking over the world when they grow up.
Erasers
For a little piece of NeoPlastic/NeoRubber, erasers are very abominably expensive.
Only the Green Faerie Eraser (3,700 NP) is actually affordable to the average
Neopian family; both the Power Negg Eraser and the Faerie Eraser are unbuyable.
Pets are bound to lose their erasers often and with 3,500 NP/eraser, the erasing
budget can be huge. Perhaps this is a draconian conspiracy to force pets to
learn not make mistakes by making dents in their owners' bank accounts?
Your Pet Could Be the Next NeoMozart, NeoMonet or NeoDescartes! Many school
supplies are available to develop pets' artistic talents. For the budding scientist,
there's the Pocket Microscope (85,000 NP); for the budding Mathematician there's
the Scorchio Calculator (unbuyable) and the Compass (2,000 NP); the young geologist
can have a Neopian Globe (5,500 NP); for the new artists there are paints and
scissors. It may be of notice that most of these talent-developing school supplies
are very costly. But hey, what won't an owner do for after staring in the shiny
eyes of that loveable fluffball he/she call his/her pet?
The NeoPets Team does seem to be awfully preoccupied with that New World they
are building as seen by the smaller amounts of new content in the past weeks.
Hopefully, they will be working on the Neoschools wholeheartedly soon (not playing
Deckball…) and will carry out their promise. In the meantime - Happy Neoschool
Supply Shopping!
Disclaimer: The author of this article is not in any way responsible for financial
damages caused in junction to reading this article. This article is meant to be
fictional and slightly humorous, not serious. | 
