"Come on egold! You can do it! Defeat that evil Lupe!" I was yelling to my
Neopet. After a Lupe insult in an article I wrote to The Neopian Times, every
Lupe owner was after my blood. And egold was fighting in the Battledome against
a Christmas Lupe. (Christmas in July? Hmm...) Final score: egold was the victor.
The Lupe owner got furious at me and yelled, "YOU SMELL LIKE OLD CHEESE!"
I was about to throw a Clockwork Grundo at him, but resisted the urge... save
it for later.
"Ding-ding-ding!" the bell rang. That meant egold had to fight against another
Lupe. This Lupe was not any normal Lupe, this thing was huge! It was Fire painted,
huge white jaws, and glowing red eyes. Muscles were bulging right to left on
any of the Lupes legs. Was it just me, or did the owner look like she was about
half a meter tall compared to that thing?
"Ahh, egold, you know what to do. I'd recommend your Rainbow Frost Cannon
until you freeze him, and then throw some of those Caustic potions at him,"
I advised. I knew this match would be hard.
The bell rung, egold leaped toward the Leaning Bulk of Lupe with his cannon
and tried to freeze his opponent. The Lupe flinched, but wasn't down much on
the HP scale. The Lupe tried to swipe the Gelert with his claw, but was deemed
unsuccessful. Then I told egold to jab the Lupe with the attack fork. The Lupe
found this rather painful, to my luck. It then pulled out a Jhudora's Potion.
I told egold to burrow into the ground, but it was too late. The Gelert was
down a lot of HP, and had not much left. He pulled out a Gelert Healing Potion
and healed half of his remaining HP. Then when the Lupe was about to use the
other potion, egold leaped towards him with tremendous force, missed by about
three yards, and hit the wall and lost all remaining HP. The Lupe had gotten
lucky, and won the match, 1894/1902 HP compared to egold's 0/70 HP.
I knew I was needing some help. It was my luck that my Krawk, lizzagold, was
watching the match and knew I needed help. "I know just how to help!" said lizzagold.
"How?" I asked her. (Well, technically she's a he, but that's because the
Fungus in the Fungus Cave changed her gender. For the purpose of this article
he'll be a she until I get a Strange Potion)
She responded, "I'll find Hubrid Nox, the Chia Warrior! He'll know how to
defeat those Lupes!"
Two minutes later...
Lizzagold was out the door, ready to go. I didn't really expect her to go
anywhere, her IQ was like 12 or something. Lizzagold's first destination was
to find the Endless Plains, home to many Lupes. If you were a Chia Warrior trying
to defeat Lupes, you'd expect to be where there a lot of Lupes.
She stopped to get a Krawkade with my Debit Card, and ran towards the Plains.
All of a sudden, a Robot Jetsam got in the way. "Hey, I was walking here!" lizzagold
complained. "Heh, you Krawks are all the same. You won't be when I throw this
Chia Flour on you!" the Jetsam roared.
Lizzagold knew this meant battle. She was good-very good. She had one all
of her 1 matches. Okay, maybe she beat the Chia Clown, but, hey, she isn't the
best Neopet in the world stat wise. Although egold was borrowing her Battledome
items, she had a bit of Krawkade. She threw a bunch at the Jetsam and...
"YEOW!" she screamed. Who knew Robot Jetsams had that hard plating? The Chia
Flour was about to be thrown on her when she tossed some Krawkade out of her
drink. The liquid seeped through a crack in the Jetsams armour and blew the
arms circuit, rendering the Jetsams arms useless. Lizzagold was amazed. She
had no clue what just happened. Of course, she got the bag of the Chia Flour
and threw it on the Jetsam. And of course, lizzagold may be dim-witted, but
she knew when an angry owner was after her.
She had made it to the Endless Plains. Some of Lupes there not only smelt
like rotten neggs, they were all scarred and aching. Curiosity got the Krawk
and she decided to explore the situation. "That evil Chia!" some of them groaned.
Some others would groan about an weird monster attacking them from the back.
Some others got slimed. How did Hubrid Nox do that?
Lizzagold asked them which way the monster went. They pointed left, right,
up, down, any way you could think of. My guess would be they had a bad memory,
even for a Lupe. But Lizzagold guessed the one that pointed towards figures
in the distance was closest. She thanked the Lupe and ran off.
"Heh heh heh Minion. This is so much fun," said a yellow Kyrii, who's name
was Furdark. Furdark was a Kyrii out of sorts. She loved tormenting people,
and even more so enjoyed getting rich and spending it all on herself and Minion,
who was her Slorg. Furdark turned to a small Blue Chia. "Don't you enjoy this,
Saturn?"
Saturn laughed. He loved tormenting Lupes as much as his father, Hubrid Nox.
Saturn was actually named after his father, cause if take the "brid"
out of Hubrid you have "Hu", which sounds like Hue, and you can get
Saturation if you know what art programs are like, and Saturation abbreviated
is Saturn. Or it was because Hubrid's middle name was Saturn, take your pick.
Furdark was pleased. She was being paid to help torment the Lupes. Her Slorg,
or her Minion, got a nice price also: 50 NP per Lupe slimed.
Lizzagold jumped up after Saturn and Furdark. Saturn was scared, but Furdark
even more. "POLICE!" she yelled, picked up Minion and ran away. Of course, she
never got anywhere. It was the Endless Plains.
Lizzagold didn't know what Hubrid Nox looked like. I did. He's a blue Chia
with red eyes, a moustache, and a rod with a little wind gauge on top in his
left arm. But she assumed Saturn was Hubrid Nox, and asked him if he would help.
"Oh, these Lupes! They are everywhere and attacking my owners Gelert! Would
you please help? Please?" Lizzagold asked. Saturn agreed, picked up some weapons,
including his King Size bag of Chia Flour, and headed on his way.
On the way back he showed lizzagold how to use Hubrid's Noxious Blade, a weapon
forged by is father's assistant. It was powerful, and made great sliced Asparagus.
She tackled a Lupe before leaving, for practice.
On the way back, a Blue Jetsam blocked the way. He pointed to lizzagold, "YOU
WON'T ESCAPE THIS TIME!"
Lizzagold was confused and asked, "Who are you?" "The Robot Jetsam who you
changed into a Chia!"
"Well, you tried to change me into a Chia!" Then lizzagold looked at Saturn
and asked, "Mr. Nox, would you please defeat this Jetsam? I got lucky last time."
Saturn used the Noxious Blade and defeated the Jetsam easily. Then threw more
Chia Flour on him. "Take that! A morphing potion will be easier to use than
restoring a Krawk!" The Chia ran off crying. And the Krawk and Chia ran off
crying after being whipped by an angry owner.
They arrived at the Battledome and found me in Battle Ground E19. "I found
Mr. Nox epk! Mr. Nox!"
I looked at the Chia. "That's not Hubrid..."
"I'm his son," Saturn responded. Lizzagold was confused, but I was glad to
have someone there. "Erm, anyway, epk, big fan of your articles. Here, take
this Noxious Blade for now and some Chia Flour!"
I equipped egold right away. He had a Rainbow Frost Cannon, Attack Fork, two
Caustic Potions, Gelert Healing Potion, Yellow Sticky Hand, Hubrid's Noxious
Blade, and a King Size Chia Flour bag.
Egold's first fight was against a 12 HP full-of-himself Blue Lupe. "Use the
Noxious Blade and Chia Flour!" I yelled. We turned the Blue Lupe into a Chia,
and also defeated it, since Lupes aren't as easily defended against Hubrid's
Items.
"Yah!" Lizzagold and Saturn cheered.
The second fight was a tad harder. This was a 50 HP more difficult Red Lupe.
"Rainbow Frost and the Noxious Blade!" I yelled. This almost halved the Lupes
HP. The Lupe attacked with a Exploding Snowball and Improved Lighting Beam,
1/3 of egold's HP was gone. "Again, but this time use the Yellow Sticky Hand
against the Lupe instead the Noxious Blade!" We stole a nice bag of Chia Flour.
"Heh, planning to use this?" egold smirked. He used the stolen bag and Noxious
Blade and turned the Lupe into a Chia, and defeated it.
I was scared for a second. These people are trying to Chiaize my pet? Hopefully
they'll get on target and not hit lizzagold. Not that I hated Chias, I just
didn't like the idea of someone else morphing my pet. Especially a Lupe, since
Gelerts and Lupes are battling of the Popularity Charts. 1 less Gelert would
be bad.
The third fight was more even. 75 HP Yellow Lupe versus a 70 HP Yellow Gelert.
We started with the Noxious Blade and Rainbow Frost Cannon. Not only did we
get the Lupe down to 50 HP, we froze it. "Use the two Caustic Potions and a
fierce attack for maximum damage!" We healed a bit, and got the Lupe down to
10 HP. "Now fireworks! Chia Flour and the Noxious Blade." This time, I looked
on the owners face and boy did she get pale. The Lupe was transformed and defeated.
As the owner was leaving, she yelled, "My Guild shall declare war on you!"
I yelled back, "I have allies!" I thought, Do I have allies? None of
which are Lupes, and that makes up about 5% of the population. Nothing to worry
about.
The next match wasn't a Lupe, it was a Orange Jetsam. "How'd you get Orange?"
egold yelled, a tad jealous.
"It's a side effect of going back and forth between Robot Jetsam, Chia, Jetsam,
Chia, Jetsam. I'll recover, don't worry!"
Lizzagold's face went pale. This was the Jetsam! She knew he'd see her and
try to throw another bag of Chia Flour at her, even though that would result
if a 2,500 NP fine and one day ban on the Battledome if he hit a non-contestant.
The Noxious Blade was not as good now, it was worn and the Jetsam wasn't a
Lupe. Plus, only Saturn or Hubrid would defeat a non-Lupe with it. We had to
got back to our old plan... but....
Saturn yelled. "I got an Earwax Chia! Catch egold, and throw me the blade!"
I then old over Battle Commands to Saturn. "Egold! Start with Chia Flour and
and the Rainbow Frost Cannon!" yelled Saturn. Egold didn't like the idea of
being commanded by a Chia, but it was something he better get used to. The Jetsam
had 150 HP, well, the Chia then had 145 HP. It was 60/70 for egold.
"Now the Earwax Chia! It's the opposite of my Noxious Blade, it does more
damage to Chias instead of Lupes!" Saturn yelled. The Earwax Chia did mega damage.
Of course egold also used the Rainbow Frost Cannon. It was 100 HP for the Jetsam
Chia, 55/70 for egold.
"Okay, try the same thing again!" Saturn yelled. It was 60 HP for the Jetsam
Chia, 40 for egold.
"Now again!" It was 55 HP for the Jetsam Chia, 30 for egold.
I yelled to Saturn. "The Earwax Chia didn't work!"
Saturn pondered. "I don't know what to do!"
But egold did. Before the next match he put his paw in his super long ear
that Gelerts had, removed about a square inch of earwax, did the other ear,
and placed it on the Earwax Chia. He used the Earwax Chia. An almost deafening
explosion sounded through the Battle Area E19. Well, it also sounded through
E20, E21, etc. The Jetsam Chia was defeated.
"Ugh, you beat me!" the Chia groaned. It was now even more orange than when
it came into the Battledome as a Jetsam. He then stood up and saw lizzagold.
"YOU!" He picked up some Chia Flour and tossed it at the Krawk.
Saturn tossed his bulk in the air and blocked the cloud of flour. He changed
colour, yes, but it was okay for him. The other Chia was furious and so was
the owner.
"Yeow!" egold, lizzagold, Saturn, and I all cried after taking a whipping
from the other owner. I would put her into charges, but hey, she dropped a Rod
of Supernova. Me happy, very happy. And to all Lupe owners, I've partially learned
my lesson. "If the Lupes Attack, use a few Nox Nox Jokes to see if they'll stop!"
Okay, that wasn't funny, and it wasn't supposed to be. I couldn't think of any
other way to summarise the day's events. Oh, and what happened to Furdark and
Minion?
Three Days Later...
"Where are we Minion?" Furdark groaned.
"The Endless Plains!" Minion groaned.
"Are we there yet?" Furdark groaned.
"No," Minion groaned. They decided to turn around. The funny thing about the
endless plains, it that it's endless in the way that every step you take forward,
it creates the illusion your actually going forward, but you are in reality,
going nowhere. If you go backwards, you'll make it back in a jump skip and a
hop.
"YOU GOT US LOST! See, at least I can find the way!" Furdark snorted at Minion.
Yah, but it was you, Furdark, who picked Minion up and dragged him that way.
Better luck next time... I'll be expecting you.
The End | 
